There’s this girl I used to like and still do have a soft spot for. Her and I are very alike and we have very similar interest and a lot of people comment on how much alike we are. We also bicker a lot but can go right back to being friends the next second.
Now the reason that she didn’t want to go out with me (as my best friend overheard her say) is that she’s taller than me. I could sort of understand if I wasn’t normal height and she wasn’t taller than average but it does bother me a lot.
Now after I heard all this I tried to nuclear approach. I cut her out of my life and even got a girlfriend in the time that she wasn’t there. Then things went bad with the girlfriend and we ended up breaking up (it happens, no biggie). But then me and tall girl started talking and hanging out again. She really made me feel like the biggest asshole for not talking to her for the couple months I was with the other girl. It feels like I can’t break away from her. This wouldn’t be as confusing if she didn’t get very jealous whenever I even talk to another girl let alone flirt and she doesn’t hide it. She storms out of rooms every chance she gets. Her friends tell me she’s “territorial” of me. Which I find kind of creepy to be honest.
But now the other day she texts me just to tell me that she’s “kinda seeing” a 28 year old guy (she’s 20). And I know that she did this just to attempt to make me jealous. Her “kind of seeing” anyone doesn’t bother me. Its her trying to mess with me that pisses me off and I really don’t want to give her the time of day anymore. But I feel like she’s going to go into the guilt trip again, I’m just not sure if I’m doing the right thing anymore.
She’s fucking with you. You know that. She knows that. And clearly it’s working because she’s crawled into your head but good. She may not have any interest in you romantically, but she loves the attention she gets from you and being a manipulative bitch is evidently a great way to keep your attention. And frankly she’s sending you on so many guilt trips that you’re qualifying for frequent flyer miles.
To quote a wise man: “A strange game. The only way to win… is not to play.”
Quit playing her game.
I’ve been reading your articles and so far I can agree with most if not all of them. Really good advice. I have a intimate question for you. I can talk to girls, maybe get ’em to like me, take me out for dinner, all that buzz. Now my major problem is between the sheets. I tend to turn into socially awkward penguin when it comes to love making of any sort. Not exactly knowing what to do with my hands, not knowing what to say, not knowing when I should stop kissing, it’s a car wreck. Please just teach me how to make a girl remember a night of passion and not laughter.
What’s wrong with laughter? As long as they’re not pointing and laughing, laughter is a good thing.
But that’s not what you asked.
Where to start, where to start. I mean, I could regale you with the lessons I learned from the Bi-Curious Nuns at Our Lady of the Gutta-Percha. Or I could tell you that one trick for neophytes during oral sex is the classic “write the alphabet with your tongue” and be ready to tell your friends about the girl who started screaming “SPELL MY NAME, BITCH! SPELL MY NAME!” But is that going to get to the core issue? No, not really.
Y’see, sex, like most other things in life, is something that’s a matter of time, experience and practice. Everyone starts out in the same place, and there’s really no shame in being inexperienced. In fact, there are a surprising number of women who actually love showing newbies the ropes. There’s something to be said for training a guy to be the sort of lover they wanted in the first place. But the fact remains that you’re going to have to be willing to make mistakes in the name of learning; hopefully these girls who’re taking you out to dinner are also willing to help you practice.
Here’s all you need to start out with (besides a willing, patient partner, some lube and a supply of condoms): a can-do attitude, an eagerness to learn, a lack of ego and a willingness to take direction and criticism. You’re going to not be terribly good at first. Being willing to follow a girl’s lead, learning how to read her signals and, most importantly being willing to ask what she would like you to do will go a long way towards easing that learning curve.