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Online Dating 102:
Let’s take a moment and break things down.
Alyssa Bereznak is a prime example of not only why geeks feel the need to hide their interests but also of the ridiculous remaining stigma and double standards of online dating. Jon is an incredibly successful man; he works in high-finance, he’s good looking and is evidently charming enough to get regular dates. He’s also a nerd… and if he weren’t to bring it up, you would never know.
Jon Finkel’s is a prime example of how to handle being a geek in the modern dating world. His nerdy interests are a part of his life, but not the sum total of it. He’s able to hold perfectly pleasant conversations with people about any manner of subjects that aren’t restricted to his hobbies, a love of gaming or science fiction. He didn’t humblebrag about being a champion poker player. He didn’t put forward his playing Magic: The Gathering as a problem women would have to work around. It was simple and straightforward: “Yeah, I play this geeky card game that’s pretty fun. In fact, I’m pretty good at it. I’ve even made a respectable amount of money playing.”
Hey, it's not as if he admitted to being a Bronie...
Now personally, I’m a fan of wearing my geek credentials on my sleeves. Literally, in fact; I have the mark of the Arashikage ninja clan tattooed on my forearm. But then again, I advertise my interests like a geeky peacock’s glorious plumage because the people I’d be interested in dating long term are usually interested in meeting geeks. It’s all just a matter of personal preference and knowing how to communicate your interests in a positive way.
Jon Finkel did everything right when it came to online dating; going on a date with Alyssa Bereznak was just an unfortunate toss of the dice. Regardless of whether you met them online or in person, there will always be people with whom you just won’t click. With luck, they won’t be a hack journalist with an axe to grind in an attempt to overcome their own feelings of insecurity.
My concern with Ms. Bereznak’s bullshit “OKCupid horror story” is that this is going to discourage my fellow geeks from online dating. It’s worth remembering that, for all of her justifications and her attempts to explain how she’s better than “this whole online dating thing” and she’d never do it if she weren’t busy and drunk… she’s still a member. And she was still going on dates with dudes she met online, despite how in her mind that it’s the mark of the desperate losers who can’t get dates otherwise.
Don’t let Alyssa Bereznak’s issues discourage you or intimidate you into being ashamed of your geekiness. Follow Jon’s example and realize that you can do better than her… and so can he.
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With every word I read, my happiness increased (partly because I pictured her reading this whilst melting in a pool of realization).
Having seen her responses to the controversy on her Twitter feed, I’m fairly certain self-realization is not her strong point.
SLAM! POINT DR. NERDLOVE!!!!! That was kinda my experience in high school.
I think the worst thing about the article is that she recognized that she was being shallow but then tries to justify it by saying that it’s human nature. Anyone else comfortable with this rhymes with witch trying to represent the rest of us?
Sara Underwood on on AOTS had me rolling this afternoon when they talked about it there. “What’s wrong with this bitch?!!” she said in regards to Bereznak.
But seriously, if she’s supposed to be a journalist, she should talk about socially relevent or important shit. Not “shit” shit. She could go to xanga or geocities for that kinda bullshit.
She’s clearly a hideous, self-interested filthmonger.
However, unlike normal “womens magazines”, people actually care about internet articles.
You’re right though, Dr Nerdlove, this person is clearly a “bunt”.
What a horse-humping bitch!
I dont usually get MAD because of the stuff that doeasnt affect me but can we all agree that this bitch deserve to be fired from her job and die alone being hated even by her cats ?
One of my best friends went to the east coast for university, and last time I talked to her she was gushing about this really cute guy she just met and how he spent the entire afternoon teaching her how to play “this awesome card game called Magic, like pokemon but for adults”. She went on to say that when they exchanged cards their hands always touched and he’d blush and apologize. She also mentioned that he told her she was welcome to come over and game with him anytime. She was floored.
I’m so happy for her and I really, really hope that she never has the misfortune of reading this horrible “woman’s” “article”.
If I wasn’t married and most likely in the wrong part of the country I would consider him quite the catch.