To the Asshat Harassing Women at RTX

So I’m at RTX and Spill Dot Con, leaving some NerdLove stickers for people to take with them.

This apparently was a mistake. While I’ve been at the Spill panels, somebody has taken a large stack of the QR stickers and has been harassing women with them. He apparently has been sneaking around and slapping the stickers on the asses of unsuspecting women.

Beyond the fact that I don’t want my name associated with behavior, this shit is NOT FUCKING ACCEPTABLE. Cons are supposed to be safe spaces for everybody; shit like this drives women out of fandom.

If you see this guy or ANYONE acting like this, report him to the RTX Guardians IMMEDIATELY.

And for the shitbag who’s been doing this: you’d better hope the Guardians find you before I do.

  • Pirlofreekick


  • eselle28

    Ew. What gross behavior. Thank you for calling out something as it's happening. I think that can be a helpful way to raise awareness of the problem.

    • Meyer N Gaines

      I'm just in shock that anyone could do such a thing. I used to shake my head when I read DNL's articles about creeps and harassers at Cons, but I'm realizing that these Cons are basically places where these dregs think they have carte blanche to come out of the woodwork and unleash themselves on society.

      • hobbesian

        Yup, that's why it's important for guys like us to not be like those guys, and to help all of our friends not be like those guys.

        Cause seriously, fuck those guys sideways.

  • Meyer N Gaines

    What is this I don’t even…

  • I normally loathe internet dogpiles, but I hope this dude gets fed to the Tumblrites.

    • hobbesian

      Eh, I say forget the tumblerites and feed them to the sharkticons.

  • AnimatedMadness

    I wish I could be there. The minute I saw that shit happening I'd fucking take his ass down. >.< That is just intolerable.

    • Unless you meant it in a pacifist way, that would probably get you kicked out of the con too. Plenty of ways besides contacting con staff to combat harassers. Speaking up, following the bro around, hitting on him to give him a taste of his own medicine…stuff that won't have possible negative repercussions for you.

      • AnimatedMadness

        It probably would but it's not like I'm there. Though I found out last night a cousin of mine is there and he says that everyone is looking for him now lol.

      • Rja

        You're legally allowed to defend yourself if you are sexually harassed or assaulted. If the con wants to throw people out for doing so, that's on them and they suck (some cons do, some don't, and the ones that do seriously need to update their policies from being like a bad high school).

        • I was operating on the assumption that he would be decking a dude who had harassed someone else. Satisfying and deserved as that might be, depending on your timing(especially when you aren't catching him in the act), that likely does not fall even under expanded self-defense:… And if it would result in a lolsuit for the vigilante avenger, the victim(s) might also get a pile of unwanted crap on their plate, especially with the media circus it might attract.

  • It is sad that such shenanigans still persist. Come on man, you're ruining it for the rest of us!

  • Mrs. NerdLove

    They haven't caught the guy (yet, as of the end of the day yesterday), but all props to the RTX Guardians who were *right the fuck on top of this* immediately. They contacted the Doc within about half an hour or 45 minutes of it all happening (which is pretty good, considering the size of the con, and trying to find someone to talk to them directly), and they were completely professional and very concerned that they get to the bottom of exactly what was going on and, at minimum, the activity stop and ideally, that it stop and the guy get thrown out of the con. (He seems to have stopped as soon as security was alerted, because they had no further reports of harassment after they started investigating.)

    The Guardians and RTX handled this *exactly* the way a con should. The rest of the con-planning community would do well to take a page out of their book!

  • JulieR

    Forgive me the ignorance that I don’t know the origin of why those stickers were made in the first place… but, um… WHY were those stickers made in the first place, and then left at a table as freebies?

    Not condoning this ass’s behaviors or antics in the slightest; I think its absolutely appalling that someone would go around and be sneak-assaulting women like this… but to leave stacks of those stickers out to begin with sounds like a disaster just waiting for a jerk to happen.

    • ThatDebra

      Is it really that common for stickers to be used as a tool for assaulting women? If such an innocent thing as a sticker is really that 'triggering' for perverts then we seriously have a problem in the world.

      • JulieR

        It isn’t that I see this as triggering for perverts… I’m seeing this as leaving out ammunition for a jerk who enjoys causing random grief for the sake of grief; getting personal enjoyment out of the embarrassment and degredation of others.

        Also, its not stickers that I have an issue with… its this specific sticker, which appears to be a warning label that someone is a “fake geek girl”. If I saw a stack of these sitting on an unattended swag table, I’d be angry and offended as all heck.

        • ThatDebra

          Where did you get that these are warning labels for 'fake geek girls'?

          Still, I think calling it ammunition is a strong word and to look around every corner to be sure you can satire and joke without disturbance kind of defeats the point of it. Those jokes and satires are supposed to be a sort of message to jerks who wish to abuse it. If they purposefully miss the point and decide to use it for assault then they'll soon enough find out how unacceptable it is.

          It's still calling for a situation where everyone *but* the asshole himself needs to hold back in order to have fun. A situation like that just doesn't sit right with me personally.

          • JulieR


            These are the stickers I’m talking about… where do you NOT see that these were warning labels for fake geek girls? These are LITERALLY warning labels about fake geek girls.

            And yes, I get that it was intended to be satire… its incredibly bad satire.

          • ThatDebra

            It's not that I don't see it, it's that the original post here says QR stickers and describes nothing like that. I simply didn't know that it was actually those stickers.

            After seeing them, though, I can see how they can be an issue. It's really context heavy whether you pick up on the satire and if you're not personally handing them out to people, unaware of who is taking them for what purpose, the chance is high some jerk is going to abuse that power.

            I'm not sure if that should force anyone to stop doing what they're doing, though, but I can see where you're coming from now.

          • Akai

            Oh yeah jeez, that's disgusting. Those of us who only heard about it here may've assumed that it was only the Doctor's stickers, which obviously don't say that.

          • Akai

            Oh, researched my unfounded claim. Ignore me.

          • Dr_NerdLove

            When RTX security came to talk to me, they were talking about my QR stickers. From what I've been hearing via Twitter, it was the advisory ones. Not sure if details got conflated or if there was more than one jerkass or they were just using any stickers I happened to leave nearby.

    • Mel_

      It's very common for guest speakers and panelists at conventions to bring swag, including stickers, to hand out and leave on the tables for that purpose. I think it would be ridiculous for people to have to eliminate stickers from conventions just because the occasional person decides to be a jerk with them. A person can be a jerk with just about any item–the problem isn't the item, it's the jerk. 😛

      • JulieR

        I’m not asking anyone to eliminate stickers or any kind of swag from a convention. My partner vends in dealer’s rooms and puts up pieces in the art shows at several local conventions… I know what swag is, and what its for.

        I want to know why this specific thing, a sticker that appears to be a warning label for a “fake geek girl”, was made in the first place, and I want to know why this specific swag-stack of free ammunition was left out for a random griefer.

        • Mel_

          As with Debra, I didn't realize the stickers had a fake geek girl advisory (it's not mentioned in the post above, and I hadn't read any other posts on the subject). I agree those particular stickers would easily appeal to the wrong people for the wrong reasons.

          If you'd explained what you knew about the stickers that hadn't been said in this post when you first commented, I doubt anyone would have argued. Generally best to mention these things up front rather than assume everyone else has also read other info elsewhere. 🙂

          • JulieR

            I apologize for that to both you and Debra… I came here through that site I linked, and because I was mad over it, I did not fully realize this thread didn’t mention the advisory stickers at all.

  • JulieR

    A clarification.

    I understand that the warning label is intended to be satire and sarcasm.

    I read and agreed with a lot of what Dr. Nerdlove wrote in his post about “fake geek girls” being a bullshit thing.

    I think that the warning label design is fine on a t-shirt… the individual makes the choice to put the t-shirt on and wear it as a display of satire, because they agree with the statement it makes as being satire, and I hope they go whole-hog with that satire as a blaring statement of how incredibly stupid it is to believe that fake geek girls, or fake geek cred in general, is somehow even a thing.

    What I am having issue with, is that is not what happened here. What happened here is a free stack of warning labels over an issue that is very offensive, divisive, and massively insulting to a lot of fandom, was left out with no indication whatsoever that they were intended to be satire, or with any sort of connection or explanation as to why “fake geek girls” is such a craptastic statement.

    I’m sorry, but to think that a griefer wouldn’t grab and use these is being incredibly ignorant of the trolling parts of fandom, and undermines the entire point you’re trying to make in the first place.

    Ya know how its never a good idea to feed the trolls? You don’t leave out plates of food for them at an all-you-can-grief buffet, either.

  • Otherguy

    It seems like the first mistake was creating stickers that have a negative(even as satire, it's negative) connotation to them.

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  • Duder

    To the asshat who printed those in the first place, lol.

  • Commenting101

    You know what's funny? This is cry against sexist pigs yet the women wear skimpy outfits to show off being a fan. Calling someone a fake fan is worse than wear cleavage? Well, well… America's standards have it backwards it seems.

    • eselle28

      Yes, having someone label you "fake" – particularly without knowing you – is worse than making your own choice how to present yourself to others. Being assaulted is far worse than making your own choice how to present yourself to others.

      Please let me know which places have their standards "forwards" so I can avoid them.

    • Tell me more about how boobies are oppressing you.

      On second thought, no, don't. I really don't care.

    • But what if the cleavage is also fake?

      In all seriousness, the fans can't really help it if that cool character they like has a skimpy outfit, that's what the creators gave them to work with(short of modelling your outfit on alternate takes by fanart). They're not having a generous front view AT you, and you aren't a twelve-year old with his first Playboy, so get a grip(unless you suffer from mammophobia, in which case I apologize for my ableism).

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  • Accai

    Inappropriateness of the behavior aside, I got a kick out of Harris trying to be a tough guy. What are you Harris, like 5'5"? With a doughey physique?

    Not exactly the most imposing guy.

    • Dr_NerdLove

      Of course I am, like ANY proper Sontaran!Sontar-ha! Sontar-ha!

    • Mrs. NerdLove

      Okay, I'm only jumping in because Harris is too modest to fess up…

      He's 5'8", and his physique is *far* from doughy. He hits the gym to lift weights on the regular, and runs on non-gym days. When we were on the LEOG, the guys used to tease him about his workouts. And, at SpillDotCon this weekend, fans actually *were* intimidated by him, just standing there, because of his physique.

      (I'm also replying because I know you're not trolling, you just haven't actually seen any pictures of him aside from artist's renderings, and you've got a mental image of him that doesn't match reality. Kind of like how I imagined Garrison Keillor looking until I saw a photo…)

  • Clementine Danger

    Reporting harassment is very scary and makes sadfeels. Only do it if you feel you can handle it.

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  • I hope you get to him first…

  • Elliott

    The Advisory stickers were a bad idea in the first place. You really didn't think that through, dude. I wasn't familiar with your site, and at first glance (a photo of a sticker sitting on a table) assumed they were deadly earnest.

    That doesn't even begin to excuse sexually assaulting women (I hope they caught him and I hope they banned him and I hope someone filed a police report and I'm having some very intense fantasies about breaking his nose), but please discontinue the stickers.

    (Sorry, I didn't realize this was old news—saw the link in the New Statesman this morning.)

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