All posts in Talking To Women

On Labeling Men “Creepy”…

by Dr. NerdLove on May 17, 2012 in Advice, Pick-Up / Meeting Girls, Talking To Women with 96 Comments

This started off life as a reply to a comment in my recent column about the Manosphere and taking responsibility for your own fate, but it’ssince I’ve been received more than a few comments – including many that I’ve deleted from various kooks, chucklefucks and the occasional blatant troll – on the “laziness” of women, the unfairness of labeling men “creepy” and the myriad hurdles that women supposedly throw in men’s way over the course of a social interaction, it’s time to address it directly.  I’m going take time out of my vacation to drop some knowledge on the subject, which I’ve seen repeated during my ventures into the manosphere, Men’s Rights groups and anti-PUA forums.

Pay attention, school is now in session.

Continue reading “On Labeling Men “Creepy”…” »

How To Approach A Woman

by Dr. NerdLove on April 30, 2012 in Skills, Talking To Women, The Basics with 10 Comments

By the time this goes up, it will be the end of April and the start of May. Hooray, hooray, the first of May, outdoor fucking begins today.

With the warm spring sun slowly turning to summer (or not so slowly for those of us who live in the south – THANKS GLOBAL WARMING!), we’re entering prime time for going out and meeting new, sexy singles. Women are breaking out the sun-dresses that cling to every curve while men are breaking out their shorts and tighter tees. Sex is in the air and everybody is looking forward to hooking up.

So there is no better time for you to brush up your skills and get ready to meet the woman of your dreams.

We’ve talked about how to get comfortable talking to women. We’ve covered what to say. I’ve taught you how to beat your approach anxiety.  You know what to look for to see if she’s interested in you.

Now it’s time to quit talking and start walking. It’s time for you to actually get out there and start meeting those awesome women you’ve been thinking about for so long.

Yes, it can be profoundly intimidating. Coming up to a total stranger and trying to get her interested in exploring the possibilities of  a sexual or romantic relationship with you can be difficult and stressful. In a lot of ways you’re making yourself emotionally vulnerable and being rejected can sometimes feel like a rejection of everything about you.

But fortunately you don’t have to worry; I’m here to walk you through the steps, as well as the common pitfalls that you need to avoid.

Continue reading “How To Approach A Woman” »

Why Women Flake (And How To Stop It)

by Dr. NerdLove on April 23, 2012 in Communication, Dating, Talking To Women with 32 Comments
"OK, I'm giving her just ONE more hour and that's IT."

How many times have you been doing well with a woman you’d just met only to have it fizzle out the next day with no warning? In the moment, everything was amazing; you were flirting back and forth, you got her number and the promise of getting together later. By all rights it should be all systems go for getting a date that weekend. Instead, it’s all last minute cancellations and radio silence. That first time you asked her out ended with “Sounds great, call me the day of, ok?”. The day of, it was “Oh I’m so sorry, but I’m actually busy today. Maybe next time?” Then… nothing. Your texts get one or two word answers. Your voice mails are never being returned. You’re shouting impotently into the void, hoping for an answer.

She flaked on you. Sucks, don’t it?

Unfortunately, flaking is a common occurrence when you’re dating, especially when you’re building your skills. It’s incredibly frustrating because it can feel as though it came out of nowhere – you were doing everything right and then suddenly you hit that wall of silence. So what can you do about it? Well, to start with, let’s examine why women flake… and then how we can prevent flakes from happening1 . Continue reading “Why Women Flake (And How To Stop It)” »

  1. Let’s get the Head and Shoulders jokes out of the way now, shall we? [↩]

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Play Your Part

by Dr. NerdLove on April 4, 2012 in Ask Dr. NerdLove, Dating, Talking To Women with 12 Comments

If you can post this without raising the incredible ire and discrimination I’m expecting from this question then so be it, also I would ask for a high level of discretion.  If this were to get out  it would ruin my job.  And right now it is my only source of income.

I am a phone sex operator, and I make really good money doing it.  I’m also working towards a post-graduate degree.  And, of course, I’m a nerd.  Now the screwed up thing about my situation, well the thing I think that the majority of your readers would have, and I’m taking a big risk here as you might as well, a problem with is that I’m a straight guy who manipulates his voice to sound just like a woman.  I use my nerd knowledge and my talent to portray a nerd girl over the phone in a fantasy manner.   I’m not into guys at all and that is 100% of my customer base, but I have a knack for the naughty and really detailing what I would like to hear from a woman and it turns out the majority of my customers like to hear that too.  So I do well in what I do but I believe that it is hindering me from finding a girl of my own.  

I have my fun with my coworkers, other PSO’s, and that’s fine, but they are not interested in a relationship.  They have made it clear and being a PSO myself I definitely respect their position.  I would never want a customer of mine to track me down.  I’d be so freaked out if I ever actually met a customer face to face.  I’d be afraid they’d kill me for what I put them through.  I also find that I’m pretty socially awkward to the point where my friends have friends that they will not introduce me to because they don’t want to lose those friends. 

It’s true that I found your site by googling how to hit on girls at comic con, but I have a different definition of where I think hitting on a girl should lead.  It’s not about sex for me. as I can get that anytime I want, it’s about building a relationship.  But in order to do that you have to say hi and introduce yourself and be personable and I only seem to be that with my customers, not out in the real world.  Is there a way that My working persona can become my actual persona?  and is there a possibility to find a woman out there who would be interested in dating me knowing what I do for money or should I keep that a secret til the day I die?

Struggling PSO

Continue reading “Ask Dr. NerdLove: Play Your Part” »

Talk to Anyone, At Any Time.

by Dr. NerdLove on March 12, 2012 in Communication, meeting women, Talking To Women with 24 Comments
"No, y'see, I think Kierkegaard got it entirely wrong when he postulated that existence precedes essence. And did I mention that existentialism makes me incredibly horny?"

Most of you aren’t social enough.

Sorry. Didn’t really want to drop it on you cold, but there really isn’t any gentle way to go about it. I know that a number of you have been trying the exercises that I recommended for making talking to women a part of your daily lives, but there are far too many among you who linger in the fringes of a social gathering, hoping that there will be a chance to get the woman you like alone.

And let’s not talk about those of you who go to parties or bars and spend all of your time quietly nursing a drink, feeling awkward about the fact that you know barely anybody there. Because I know there are plenty of you too, little bundles of social awkwardness wishing that you were anywhere else and desperately hoping for someone you know to show up and rescue from this convivial hell.

Of course, there’s always the other solution. You could always start getting to know the people around you.

Look, cold hard truth time. You can’t just stick to talking to people you know or to the limited areas where you feel comfortable. You will have to make small-talk with strangers, whether it’s your girlfriend’s family or your fellow cubicle farmers at work. You don’t need to be the life of the party, but you do need to learn how to make small talk. Let’s be honest: whether you’re at a party, at a bar or killing time in line waiting for the show to start, nobody wants to talk to Johnny O’Sullen glowering by himself in the corner. They all much prefer the friendly, charming guy who seems to be genuinely interested in getting to know people.

So it’s time to start learning how to talk to anyone. 

Continue reading “Talk to Anyone, At Any Time.” »

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