Whenever guys talk about being more attractive, they talk a lot about getting fit as though it were the keys to the kingdom. Get fit, get those six-pack abs, those striated muscles that look like shredded wheat and women will beat a path to your pants. And to be sure: one of the key parts of becoming someone worth dating is taking care of yourself. Taking care of your physical fitness is an incredibly important part of that self-care.
But more often than not, guys go about it the wrong way. They sign up for gym memberships at the start of the new year, go for three weeks and then never show up again. They hit their new diet – low carb, paleo, what-have-you – with the passion of the newly converted and then bow out when that first extinction burst hits. If you want to get fit, you have to do it the right way.
Now, I want to be clear: I’m not going to talk about specific exercise routines or diets you should follow. The key to getting fit isn’t about the magic workout that’ll give you abs with minimal effort or a diet that will melt the pounds away in days instead of months. I want to talk about how to go about getting fit in ways that not only you can stick to, but that will actually get you the results you want.
So if you’re ready to start a real physical transformation, read on.
Understand What Getting Fit Really Means
One of the first things that you need to do is be very clear about what it is you want and what you can reasonably expect. There’s a difference between getting in shape and looking like, say, Brad Pitt in Fight Club. When we think about being fit, we tend to think of it in terms of dudes on the cover of Men’s Health or Hugh Jackman’s extra-veiny arms.
That’s not what getting fit looks like; that’s a look that’s marketed specifically to men. Being fit and getting into shape doesn’t mean looking like a model. Being fit comes in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. Fit doesn’t look like Stephen Amell in Arrow… it’s just as likely to look like Prince Fielder or Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson.
The great irony of trying to look like someone in a superhero movie is that, when they’re on set, actors are not at their fittest. It may look good on camera, but getting spornosexual-skinny actually can have nasty effects on your health. You don’t get that hyper-muscled, single-digit-body-fat look without dehydrating yourself enough to make your skin paper-thin. And that’s before you factor in issues like lighting and makeup.
Your genetics and your build will contribute more to how you look than exercise and diet. If you’re the long and lanky type, your version of fit will look different from someone who’s squatter and short-waisted. Your version of fit may not entail weight loss. It may not entail six-pack abs… but six pack abs aren’t going to be the panacea to your dating life either. Getting fit is about what it does for you, not about who it impresses.
Focusing on getting fit isn’t just about looks, it’s about health and the benefits that healthier living brings. Improving your physical fitness helps your cardiovascular system, your lung capacity and your endurance. Being fit and getting in shape means you sleep better, breathe better, even have better, stronger erections. It improves your mood, confidence and emotional health. Getting fit creates material benefits to your overall life, regardless of your waist size. Understanding this makes the process easier to stick to because… well, getting fit takes time. And that’s frustrating as hell. With that in mind:
Trust In Numbers, Not The Mirror
One of the trickiest parts of getting fit is staying motivated. Let’s be honest: exercise kinda sucks when you’re starting out. It’s exhausting, it’s time-consuming, it’s painful and if you’re at the gym, you feel like you’re sticking out like a sore thumb. Part of what keeps you going is the idea of how good you’re gonna look naked. Except then that part doesn’t seem to show up. You look in the mirror and… look more or less the same. What’s the fucking point of all that sacrifice, sweat and soreness if you look like the same schlub you did at the start?
Thing is: you have improved. Possibly quite a bit. But change is gradual and it’s really hard to see when you see yourself every single day. You’re not going to wake up one morning with a visibly different body.
You can’t rely on your eyes to tell you how much you’ve changed. You have to rely on things that can’t lie to you: numbers. This is why it’s important to have specific (and realistic) goals. Specific goals like “lose ten pounds” or “run a half-marathon” give you something concrete to strive for. If you have something specific to look for, you can track your improvement instead of a nebulous “lose weight” or “get in shape”. Having data means you have a quantifiable way of tracking your improvement and your progress towards your goals.
That’s why one of the best ways to stay motivated is to keep a journal and track everything. What days do you exercise, what exercises do you do? How much are you lifting, how many repetitions, how far are you running, how fast are you running that distance? Start plugging that data into a spreadsheet and now you’ve got graphs that give you a quick and easily readable indication of how much you’ve changed. You may feel like you’re putting all this effort in for no reward, but the data will tell you otherwise.
Of course, a little visual record doesn’t hurt either, so start loving selfies. Having an after doesn’t really help if you don’t have a before to compare it to, after all. Taking bi-weekly photographs can help show just how much progress you’ve made… even when it feels like you haven’t.
Fitness Is Found In The Gym, Weight Loss Is Found in the Kitchen
So before I get into this section, let’s acknowledge something: weight loss and fitness aren’t necessarily synonymous. Fitness is about muscle, blood pressure, aerobic endurance and so forth. Weight loss is about the size of your clothes. You can be big, even fat, and still be fit.
Now that having been said: if one of your fitness goals is to lose weight, then you have to realize this fundamental truth: weight loss is going to be found in what you eat. You physically cannot exercise enough to make up for a shitty diet. Even ultramarathoners don’t train to a point where it can be pizza for dinner and fried chicken for breakfast every day. If you’re trying to lose weight, you’re going to have to focus on a simple truth: your calorie consumption is going to have to change. No amount of paleo or Atkins is going to change that.
And if you want that weight loss to stick, then it’s going to have to be a fundamental change in your lifestyle. How we eat tends to be a habit, and if you don’t break those habits, you’re going to gain that weight back. This is where numbers and record keeping comes back in. If you want to lose a pound a week, you need to shave 500 calories a day out of your diet on average.
That can be harder than you think. Most of us simply aren’t mindful of how much we eat to any real degree. We have a vague idea of what we eat, but we miss a lot. Calories sneak into our mouths in all sorts of ways from portion sizes to absentminded snacking. Yeah, you’re aware of your 3 squares, but what about the incidentals? The handful of M&Ms from the candy bowl at work, the bagels at meetings, the sodas, the drinks after work…
Keeping track of what you eat is one of the best ways to force yourself to pay attention. Keeping a basic daily log of every single thing you put in your mouth can be an eye-opener, especially if you log portion size and calorie counts. Apps like MyFitnessPal or Calorie Count can help give you an approximation of what you’re eating and when. The more conscious you are of what you eat, the easier it is to make decisions what foods are worth the calories. Knowing you have 550 calories left can make the difference between a ribeye and a turkey sandwich.
The other nice thing about apps is that they can also help find the foods that trip you up. Yeah, you may be having the chicken caesar salad for lunch, but if it’s coming in at a whopping 1200 calories, then you’re just sabotaging yourself.
Don’t get me wrong: this doesn’t mean you can’t have your occasional indulgences. You can plan meals around having enough calories left for a treat. Having a regular cheat day helps satisfy those cravings for sugar or fries and makes it possible to grit your teeth through the rest of the week.
Besides, a life without pizza is a life barely worth living, no matter what your pants size is.
Something to keep in mind: every body and their metabolism is different. Some people can lose weight easier than changing shirts. Others can eat perfectly and exercise and not budge the scale at all. This can even change, especially as you get older. A healthier diet is still worth pursuing, for the same reason basic fitness is: the benefits to your general health and well-being are huge, regardless of what it does or doesn’t do for your waistline.
You Don’t Need A Gym Or Money To Get Fit
One frequent barrier to getting fit and getting into shape is, simply, the gym. Most New Year’s resolutions go the same way: you get that gym membership at the beginning and never use it after three weeks. It could be for any number of reasons. You could be intimidated by the clientele. Going to the gym may not fit into your daily schedule. You may not be able to afford the fees. You might not have a reliable way of getting there on the regular.
Fortunately… you don’t actually need to go. In fact, for a lot of people, gyms are a complete waste of time and money. While they certainly have their perks – from a wide variety of equipment to classes and instructors – they are by no means necessary for getting into shape. There is an almost infinite number of ways of getting fit that never require setting foot in a Gold’s Gym or getting on a treadmill.
Walking and running are free, for example; you just need shoes. If you need something more structured, there are a number of apps, websites and couch-to-5k programs available that can help give you direction. You can walk up and down stairs in your apartment complex or at work just as easily as you can get on the Stair Climber at Planet Fitness. You can do some amazing strength-building exercises with just a couple kettlebells or nothing but your own body. Sites like NerdFitness can help you build routines to hit the fitness goals you want.
And if you have Internet access, then you have access to an almost infinite number of exercise tutorials on YouTube. From boxing jump rope routines to ersatz P90x or even Crossfit-esque1 workout of the day – if you go looking for it, it’s probably out there, in a conveniently streamable format.
This has the benefit of making it possible to get fit on the cheap and on your schedule.
But of course, none of this matters if, y’know, you don’t stick to it. Which is why…
If You Don’t Enjoy It, You Won’t Do It
So you’ve got your goals. You’ve planned out your exercise routines. You’ve mapped your meals. You’re ready to get into the best shape of your life. Only none of this matters because exercise blows goats.
It’s great to have plans and goals, but all the good intentions in the world mean sweet fuck-all if you hate the process of getting there Oh sure, you’ll stick to the plan for a while… but eventually you’re going to start making trade-offs. There will be the first time you skip your workout because your workload is too heavy. Then you’ll be too tired. Or too sore. Or sick. You got caught up binging The 100 and lost track of time.
They will be very good, very legit reasons to not work out. But they’ll all end the same way: with you being in the same shape as when you started.
If you want to get in shape, you have to do it in a way that motivates you to actually do it. This may mean choosing exercise that doesn’t feel like exercise to you; a daily game of 5 on 5 basketball is going to involve some pretty serious cardio. It may mean studying kung-fu or Brazilian jiu-jitsu instead of running windsprints and hills. You might focus on being chased by imaginary zombies instead of just jogging the neighborhood.
Alternately, you might actively bribe yourself to get your work-out in. Perhaps you have a favorite podcast you’ll only listen to while you’re jogging. Or maybe there’s that show on Netflix that you want to watch – so you make a deal with yourself to only watch it while you’re at the gym.
Or you may simply have a role model that inspires and motivates you, from Captain America to Goku and Krillin. It doesn’t matter, as long as it means that you’re putting in the work.
That’s the ultimate secret to getting fit, especially if you’re a first timer. The best workout for getting ripped is the one that you’ll keep doing. The best diet is the one you can stick to for life. The more you can motivate yourself, the better you’ll able to reach those goals.
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- Also: if you want to join a gym, think carefully when their mascot is the personification of kidney failure [↩]
Abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym and ultimately fitness is about how you feel, not how you look. Everyone I know who eats like shit, doesn’t lift and doesn’t train still feels much better after a week of SOME cleansing.
Also, get real professional help and don’t ask your bros for advice unless they really are that focused and knowledgeable. Its called Bro Science for a reason, B.S..
You: “Fitness is in the numbers, not the mirror. Most movie star pics use strategic lighting and the like to look more bulked than they really are.”
Me, cluelessly: “Excellent, so that is just a logical extension of the other visual tricks for your profile photos.” http://vitals.lifehacker.com/how-to-fake-before-and-after-fitness-photos-1788276763
MyFitnesspal > Lifehacker imo. But counting calories is a really stupid waste of time in most cases.
Calorie counters are like vampires, but instead of throwing rice or grain on the ground to keep them at bay while you run, you do the same but with granola bars.
Bullshit, why wife and I use MyFitnessPal and we each normal food, we’re just aware of how many calories are in things and portion accordingly. If we’re having a delicious chocolate cake for desert we skip our Starbucks the next morning or we skip the snack we usually have.
Using MyFitnessPal didn’t change what we ate at all, it just changed portions.
Once you know how much any given thing is as far as calories you realize that instead of those two granola bars you could have had an actual sandwich and adjust as needed.
In the spirit of one-upsmanship I’m now switching to counting atoms: http://education.jlab.org/qa/mathatom_04.html
Granola bars are full of sugar and aren’t even nice.
I curse whoever spread the rumor that they were nutritious. Granola bars are great to keep in your emergency kit in your car, along with the Snickers bars and the bottled water. And if you like them (I do not understand this but treat it as a YKINMK thing), by all means, eat them. But most of the time, you’re as well or better off eating something else!
“I curse whoever spread the rumor that they were nutritious.”
IINM, the names are “Nestle” and “Kellogg”.
Why do you say that? I have found it the one reliable way of losing weight personally. And the easiest because then you don’t have to deprive yourself of a kind of food, you just eat smaller portions.
Yup, my wife does have time to exercise but after switching to a desk job she noticed she gained some weight and started using MyFitnessPal.
She didn’t change WHAT she ate, but how much, and adjusted until she liked it, and she’s lost a steady amount of weight over the past year until she’s now well past her goal and zeroing in on her target weight of what she was in high school.
All through calorie restriction. Now, not everyone can do it with JUST calorie counting, but it certainly does work.
For me, I’m dropped severely underweight several times in my life due to being in very hectic, fast pace work environments like the ER and hospital where I didn’t have much time to eat, and finally when my wife said; “Okay, I can see your ribs, you need to gain weight”, I looked at how many calories I was really taking in and I was FAR under what someone of my activity level needed.
I overdid it and gained a few extra I’m trying to drop, but calorie counting is a pretty key factor in fitness and weight loss, imo, as well as making sure you’re taking in enough calories for what you’re asking of your body.
MyFitnessPal also has a community of people who are going through the same things to help people who get stuck or have problems. When one person wasn’t losing weight someone suggested weighing their food and sure enough, for things like cereals and other things, they were consuming WAY too much by weight and getting calories they didn’t know they were consuming.
I suspect that, originally enough, different things work for different people.
My (super-anomalous) anecdata: I’d gone up to about 150% of my “usual” weight after a long struggle with what turned out to be hypothyroidism. All the shouty bloggers said the only thing that worked to get your weight back down when you are hypothyroid was CR/ exercise at a level that would make one blink. I had no real reason to lose weight, except that my mother was ashamed to be seen in public with a fat daughter (she’s a doctor, and it feels like she’s failing to practice what she preaches, I think). So, I decided to be one of the “good” fat people. I used all the tricks to not feel hungry or deprived when not eating (leading with protein and fiber; only eating half of what you think you want, waiting a half hour and seeing if you still want it; never eating after dark, never eating refined/ processed/ “white” foods, brushing teeth instead of grabbing a snack, etc.) and jogged about 30 miles/ 60 k a week.
I did this for around two years did not lose an ounce. Plus, I was always too exhausted to move outside of workouts. Literally, I’d get home from work and collapse. Sometimes my legs would just give out and I’d fall down.
I started using MyFitnessPal to support my daughter. There, I learned that on a typical day, I took in about 700-900 calories per day. I’m not sure whether I was just overcompensating on days that I let myself eat, or babying myself in terms of energy consumption (I literally spent most of my time lying in bed under several comforters), but I set a goal for myself of “at least 1000 calories a day.” I got back my energy, my concentration, and my stammer improved markedly.
I’ve also been adding one thing per week (starting with the awesome-for-me 100 Push-Ups app) that will burn 10 calories a week every day. (Yes, you read that right: my goal is to add one thing a week that will burn a pound of fat a YEAR). That should be super-slow, and it’s really easy for my to stick to, but between these two things, I’ve lost close to 40 pounds in the past six months— I actually weigh less than I did in high school. Not that it should matter, except that one can tell, just by looking, that my body is so much happier.
TL;DR: Your body is your one guaranteed life partner. Treat it like a partner: Listen to it, don’t abuse it or talk smack about it to gain the approval of or bond with others, give it what it needs, and have fun with it.
But getting big is the shit. Makes for awesome Tinder photos. My bio is “Clark Kent on the streets and Superman in the sheets.”
I just knew there would be some weird sex manoeuvre with that name: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The+Superman&defid=2684149
Just made me LOL loudly in my TA office (with no window).
You come faster than a speeding bullet?
“I’ve read ‘Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex.’ Swiping LEFT.”
*laughs till the tears run down*
Welp you’ve beaten me. Excuse me while I laugh myself to death. This was funny.
To echo what was said on the Tinder thread last week, women aren’t a monolothic entity.
I like skinny guys. By that, I mean that if I’m going to pick a guy from a linup, I won’t choose Mr. Muscles (like the last picture on the article). But, if I get to know Mr. Muscles, if I like him, then his muscles won’t stop me from dating him. If he had 20 pounds too many, I’d still date him. Attractiveness is a package deal.
My point is: you don’t want your body to be a turnoff, but I don’t think it’s useful to put in the massive effort required to go from ‘reasonably fit’ to ‘model worthy’. Time is finite. You also have to work on your posture and clothes, your conversation, your interests…
A ‘normal’ guy with many interests will have a better shot at (at the very least long-term) relationships, than the gym buff who does nothing else.
Being fit and active is great, provided it’s in a healthy and proportionate way. All this stuff about cataloguing everything you eat/do and taking endless selfies is ringing alarm bells for me as the kind of thing that leads to anorexia and other serious problems.
Also, someone being obsessed with their body is a massive turnoff. If they can find things they genuinely want to do, which then improve their body as a side effect – I’d recommend track running – that’s much better.
Counting calories is something people with ED’s do as well, usually to make sure they’re getting ENOUGH calories. While it can be used to restrict, it’s also used in recovery to make sure someone is getting enough calories, and one of the keys to weight loss and fitness is making sure that a person is getting enough calories for their activity levels but not taking too little calories in.
The most healthful way to lose weight is a pound a week, and then when you reach your target weight, hold there for about a half year to a year, and at the very least maintain a stable caloric intake.
ED’s are always something to be wary of, but that’s why the importance should be focus on fitness for body type rather than pushing someone towards extreme fitness goals or fad diets that crash the body by putting it in ketoacidosis (*cough*Atkins Diet*cough*).
“someone being obsessed with their body is a massive turnoff”
I’m pretty sure you have no idea how much time any given women you’re attracted to spends on make-up.
And as I said to Bas, my wife and I both use MyFitnessPro to track calories. It takes maybe five minutes out of the day after spending about a week or so figuring out how to input everything.
So five minutes to count calories. That’s it.
I have to do physical therapy due to my back so I throw weights in there and maybe a half hour a day of exercise is the result.
Track running is useless unless you’re also tracking calories, and for fitness it’s going to smash your knees up if you do it for any amount of time. It’s also only working on ONE body system. It’s fine cardio, but it’s not working anything else.
“Track running is useless unless you’re also tracking calories, and for fitness it’s going to smash your knees up if you do it for any amount of time. It’s also only working on ONE body system. It’s fine cardio, but it’s not working anything else.”
OK, so I’ve regularly been on the track with, and in some cases count among my friends, people who’ve competed at international standard, up to Olympics, World Championships, Commonwealth Games etc. That indeed is one of the cool things about track and field: you’re all in the same boat, there isn’t the huge separation between different levels that you get in other sports. I think they’d find your comment quite amusing.
Olympic level runners are not the same as someone who is overweight and is going to go out and run track in order to lose weight or get fit.
Many people can not handle high impact routines. High impact sports and exercises are going to take a toll on someone’s knees sooner or later. Telling someone who wants to get fit or lose weight to just go out and run track is blinkered. It also ignores the fact that caloric intake is still important.
I’m pretty sure anyone who is operating at an Olympic level is doing more than just running track, they’re going to be eating healthful foods, watching calories to make sure they’re getting enough, and doing more than JUST running.
Running also tends to produce a very specific body type that not everyone is going to be after.
For Olympic-level runners, running actually is by far the biggest plank of their training. The reason for this is that the ground contact time (for a sprinter) is about 0.1 seconds, which is a shorter window in which to generate explosive power than any other exercise. Something like a squat will take 0.5 seconds minimum, so the value of weightlifting to a sprinter is arguable – some do a lot, some don’t do any.
Of course if you’re starting from a point of being unfit and overweight you can’t go straight to Olympic-level training. But if you’re seriously aiming at fitness, you should be aiming to feel some lactic – not have a gentle jog during which you can comfortably carry on chatting, because that won’t do anything.
Sprinters watch their diet, but it’s about repairing your body rather than starving it. So with a big training load, they can actually get away with slightly more fat/sugar than the average person.
The slender-but-toned body type of female runners is personally my favourite, but I agree it’s not to everyone’s taste.
I’m not saying that running, or running track is bad, but it’s going to produce very specific results. And I agree with you, you need to be feeling a burn, but at the same time running (and most people are going to be running on blacktop, not a cushioned professional track) isn’t going to be for everyone.
OTOH, a weight lifter can get that burn as well, a swimmer can get that burn, a rock climber can get that burn.
That runner’s physique you like requires a lot of work, which sort of goes against “someone being obsessed with their body is a massive turnoff”, and probably ignores how much any given woman spends on make-up and hair, but that’s what YOU like. It may well not be the outcome someone else wants, or what someone else likes.
I don’t think running track is bad, I just don’t agree with you when you say it’s “much better”.
There’s also a difference between someone counting calories and orthorexia. This isn’t to ignore the problem of ED’s, but I’ve known plenty of people with ED’s who use intense running as their exercise because it’s an intense cardio workout that’s not also building muscle.
“the slender-but-toned body type of female runners is personally my favourite, but I agree it’s not to everyone’s taste.”
And that’s fine that’s your favourite, but it may not be what another woman wants for themselves, and remember that this advice is towards men, who are usually going to want to build muscle. We’re also not talking about Olympic level here, we’re talking about people at or below the standard baseline, which is one of the reasons I’m not advocating any specific program above another.
Someone who is routinely doing long distance intense run may need a higher caloric load than someone who is focusing on short term muscle gains with some slimming.
Rather than saying one is better than the other I’d suggest that people talk to trainers and their doctors and find out what’s right for them.
Just to be clear:
1) “That’s much better” referred to the first part of my sentence, i.e. it’s better to do exercise you’re passionate about for its own sake, not to my personal recommendation of track and field.
2) I meant synthetic rubber tracks. Yes running too much on asphalt is bad for your joints.
3) By “obsessed” with their bodies I meant unhealthy obsession, i.e. it’s at the point where you don’t know whether you have a moral responsibility to tell them they have a problem, or whether that would be anti-feminist and none of your business. Not that they spend some money on make-up and hair.
I ran the half mile, mile, and 2-mile for the track team in high school and college, but I never got a “runner’s physique.” I also was far from Olympic level!
Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with admiring or being attracted to the physique of Olympic runners, but unless someone hits the genetic lottery it’s a bit more complex than “Just go run track” to get.
Which, this is also why I’m glad DNL focused on fitness and wrote the article the way he did, because trying to chase after a specific physique is something I’ve seen discourage a lot of people from exercise because not everyone is going to be able to sculpt their body into a certain physique no matter how much they try.
Precisely! For that matter, I didn’t develop a stereotypical gymnast’s build in the 12 years I did gymnastics. Nothing is going to make me tall, willowy, and ectomorphic, but I certainly got fit.
Accepting our bodies’ predispositions and weaknesses, and making the best of it seems like the most realistic path.
I would never think of gymnasts as being tall and willowy, actually. When I think of gymnasts I think of short, crazy agile bricks.
In most cases that’s true, though Svetlana Khorkina was a very successful gymnast while being tall and willowy. (Albeit she’s 5′ 5″, which is tall for a gymnast but hardly tall by high jumper standards.)
Pedantically worth noting: not every eating disorder is anorexia. Plenty of people who have them don’t count calories, and some of them focus far more on exercise rather than calories. All this stuff can be a little tricky for people who are predisposed to disordered eating, but that doesn’t invalidate any of it.
Thank you for saying that, I was trying to say that when I mentioned orthorexia but I’m still getting over the flu and trying not to be washed away in the current floods we’re enjoying in California so I knew I was missing something.
ED’s can manifest in many ways and there’s more to disordered eating than any one classification, and more to ED’s than one body type. There’s an assumption that someone with an ED is going to look a certain way and that’s misguided and wrong as well.
None of that is to dismiss ED’s, but I’m wary of anyone pathologizing behaviors or diagnosing someone who likes taking selfies or watches their calories or is conscious of their diet, etc.
Thank you for stepping in to note the eating disorder point was not really applicable in the first place. Your orthorexia point is well-made, especially when considering that not everyone with an eating disorder is a woman. I was in a support group that for a time had both men and women as members, and I remember being particularly surprised at how the men’s symptoms were different both from the women’s and from the standard labels. Lots of orthorexia there, and that’s back when it was just the Atkins Diet and not the full blown paleo-Crossfit thing that’s so popular these days. (For people who are into that, no, not everyone who does one or both of those things has an eating disorder. Like calorie counting, it’s something that some people who are inclined that way will be drawn to.)
The flu sucks. Best wishes for your recovery, and hopefully you don’t have to worry about any flooding damage.
I don’t think this is true. Eating disorder programs count calories, but generally most patients will need to let go of counting calories in favor of something like intuitive eating. Counting calories isn’t inherently harmful and some people in ED recovery may do it forever (and find it soothing to know they didn’t have “too many” calories), but it easily becomes compulsive for people with histories of EDs. It’s been 5+ years since I’ve restricted or binged and purged and doing a calorie counting diet with a cheat day comes very close to triggering a binge/purge cycle.
I think we are actually in agreement because your point was what I was saying as well regarding calorie counting not being inherently harmful and some people in ED recovery continuing to use it in order to get enough calories but not go over a certain point in their minds. Apologies if what I said wasn’t clear, I was also reacting to the OP bringing ED’s into this in the first place because as Eselle said the OP’s eating disorder point wasn’t applicable in the first place. Pathologizing behaviors or assuming a diagnosis of someone because they count calories or take a bunch of selfies or are concerned with their body isn’t helpful either.
I have a family member who is four years in recovery from an extremely serious ED and counting calories is her way of taking control of her diet. If she weren’t counting to make sure she ate enough she would probably be consistently under the amount needed to recover and keep from being sick. This is something she’s obviously worked out with her therapist and doctors, however, and it works for her, but obviously wouldn’t be applicable for someone for whom calorie counting is triggering. As you said…it isn’t inherently bad, but again I was also trying to point out why assuming someone has an ED is short-sighted and harmful.
I’m sorry I wasn’t clearer on the point, and thank you for speaking to it.
Yes, it has its pluses and minuses. All diet behaviors can become compulsive, and compulsive dieting behaviors are really normalized. I would suggest most people start by adopting a more common sense eating sensibly diet (more fruits and veggies, less processed foods), but isn’t always as effective as the cold, hard numbers of calorie counting.
My difficulty with counting calories is that I feel I have to guesstimate how much I eat, which makes it inaccurate. Trying to weigh/measure every bite just feels like a huge hassle! I input my food choices and an approximation of the portion into my fitness app on my phone. I have to take the reports with a huge grain of salt, though! On the bright side, tracking that way tends to help me resist sweets and other unhealthy food.
It’s really frustrating, because I put on a lot of weight while I was hurt and on crutches. Before that, I maintained my weight pretty effortlessly. I’ve always been very active and had a small appetite. It kinda feels like my body betrayed me. 🙁
In my case it helps that I eat the same thing a lot. So I can just hit “Yesterday’s lunch” and load that as today’s, but I agree that (especially at the start) entering all the calories in is a bit of a chore.
Even just guessing on serving sizes and calories is good though, because it gets you thinking about them and what foods you’re eating, and I know when I started doing it I was shocked at what foods I thought were “good” actually had loads of calories and which ones didn’t.
Up until this last year or two my main problem was not being able to keep weight on, so a lot of times I’d look at my calories and realize I’d only had 700 calories all day, which made me realize the bad habits I had in terms of skipping meals or just eating a Cliff bar between patients and charging onto the next case.
As my diet and my job change I’m still finding the sweet spot, but just being aware of it helped me immensely.
Mine has a lot of foods pre-loaded. It also has a “recently added with” list. It lists entire meals too, but I rarely eat precisely the same things.
“I’d recommend track running – that’s much better.”
I just want to underline this again; not every type of exercise is going to work, be enjoyable, or even be healthy for every person.
Especially if you’re overweight, you way not want to go straight to a high impact, or even any sort of impact, type of exercise. It can be damaging to your knees, hips, whatever. Beyond that, if you’re not enjoying it, or if it’s causing pain, then that person isn’t going to continue their routine. Cardio-vascular and pulmonary systems need to work up to really long term and extensive track running or other forms of exercise.
Talk to a doctor before beginning any exercise program, don’t just jump into something like Crossfit or extreme exercise programs, and that’s part of being healthy. Not everyone is going to be built for long-distance running, or not everyone is going to be built for Crossfit or PX90 and so on.
Be wary of exercises that could cause damage to your body, because that just puts you behind, and get help either from a doctor or a trainer, especially if you’re just starting out.
Also, if you’re about building muscle, you may not want to do a lot (or any) cardio…there are factors to take into account before jumping into anything.
That 3rd paragraph needs to be the 1st paragraph. Don’t bury the lede.
Fixed it, you’re right, I had buried the lede and the most important part of my point.
*tucks editing pencil back behind ear*
So who’s the hardworking-looking hottie dude in the singlet?
If you mean the dude with the sword that’s Hafþór Júlíus “Thor” Björnsson who is an actor on Game of Thrones. By all accounts he’s a very charming, nice, and funny dude who did a funny advert for water:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXh0NJDVXrw
I … *squints* … it doesn’t look like the same dude, but I am tired and don’t trust my eyes.
Plus I’m concerned about the way you spelled his name, because that looks like a language I don’t speak … tho now that the White House Occupant has told us we’re apparently rescuing Sweden’s refugees or something, I guess I’d better learn …
*smh*
He’s Icelandic and does look different when not on the GoT set, but here he is with his puppy: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d23879bf4f27f7bf93ff31dab843aac02a2693da69ec2a06d71cde0e7a366e5a.jpg
I love that he is Team Dog, LOL
I enjoy the big man-tiny dog combo almost as much as the tiny child-giant coat combo.
I didn’t see a picture there of a kid in a coat? I agree that he and his dog are adorable.
There wasn’t one, it’s just a juxtaposition I get joy from!
Good gravy yes. I didn’t go near a gym until I’d lost a substantial amount of weight because I just wouldn’t have been able for it.
my cousin ended up in the hospital with rhabdomyolysis when he decided to get “swole” and was urinating brown liquid by the third day of p90x after years and years of no exercise. and he wasn’t even overweight at all, and most people probably would have looked at him and thought he was “fit.” he’s one of those guys who doesn’t have to diet or exercise at all to stay slim, but just because you’re thin doesn’t mean you’re in good shape or that it’s a good idea to jump right into an intense exercise program.
“rhabdomyolysis when he decided to get “swole””
I hope your cousin came out of that okay, Guns, that is some serious stuff.
In case people are wondering what this is; rhabdo in this case would be caused by skeletal muscle damage caused by extreme damage to the actual muscle tissues. The muscle breaks down so rapidly that it overwhelms the kidneys which are trying to filter myoglobin out which is released by damaged muscle tissue. It also points to severe dehydration. I’ve seen it in relation to extreme exercise programs as well as milder ones where the person jumps in after a period of inactivity of pushes themselves past healthy points because of the push to “work through the pain”. It’s serious stuff and can damage your kidneys as they’re straining to filter out the myoglobin the damaged muscles and shedding.
There’s a reason all those commercials say to consult your doctor before beginning an exercise program, and one as strenuous as p90x…yeah, it’s not a program meant for everyone, even healthy people, especially if they’re not used to continuous strenuous exercise.
Trying to “push” through pain or ignoring warning signs from your body is a bad idea as well, and even if you’re not in pain it doesn’t hurt to start slow even if you have been cleared.
I see exercise related injuries every single day at my clinic, and sometimes a small injury can put someone’s fitness goals back months.
I really can’t stress the doctor and trainer things enough, especially if you’re someone who isn’t used to exercise, and be wary of any of the more extreme programs like p90x or Crossfit. I know plenty of people who swear by them, and I know plenty of people who’ve injured themselves or done damage to their bodies from poor for or pushing oneself past safe limits.
he came out of it just fine, yeah, and was basically like “that’s what i get for trying to get into shape.” that was about seven years ago. i tried p90x maybe a year after that incident and after being told i was going to die from everyone in the family, i quit about halfway through it because i was already in really good shape and found half of it too easy and the other half of it really annoying (i hate yoga and my cat liked to stand on top of me while i was doing the yoga and the abs video). the cousin is into crossfit now and “eating like a caveman.” i don’t know that i’d say he’s “swole” but he’s less thin than he was. that also could be due to the fact that he’s married now.
I’ve been following a calorie counting weight loss plan that also accounts for sugar, fat and protein content and I’ve lost over seventy lb. Iwouldn’t recommend it to someone who had previously suffered from an eating disorder, but tracking the type and amount of food you eat when trying to lose weight will not, on its own, cause an eating disorder. It’s the only way to tell if any changes you make to your diet actually work.
Another thought.
An interesting, outgoing, cheerful and considerate man will get dates even if he is quite overweight. Because all his qualities will make his body type matter much less (some women will still find it a deal breaker. Many won’t).
It’s the cliché of the rich old ugly man and the pretty trophy girl.
The problem is often that a man (or woman) who is unhappy with their body/lifestyle etc. will display that through low confidence and a whole set of other behaviors that will contribute to lowering their attractiveness. It’s not *just* the body.
Nevertheless, since body-image and confidence are linked, taking care of yourself will do a lot for you (but it’s not a magic wand)
True. I think the real reason my body turned lesbian on me had to do with the thousand and nth time someone tried to tell me that may *think* I like men approximately my height (so the bits line up. For eye contact. Yes, Eye contact.) and maybe a bit teddy-bear shaped, but I really wanted some 6’4″ fellow with veiny biceps bigger than my head…
So it doesn’t matter how good i look?
Of course it matters, to an extent. The handsome brooding type does attract (usually younger) ladies.
But if whenever the lady whose eye you caught comes to talk to you, you start huffing and complaining about your life (or being apathetic and uninterested in anything), she will probably not stick around.
A relationship is give and take, if you feel too bad to give, use your energy to work on yourself before you throw a second person into the mix.
Well, and apart of that? Because i already know that complaining a lot annoys others (it’s a shame, because it gets me inspired).
I’d really love to see someone who actually fits the description of “brooding loner” in an attractive way, though, because i’ve never seen one IRL.
I think “brooding loner” is more a label that people use for others they don’t know very well, like “manic pixie dream girl” or “boy next door.” It’s an easy one to stick to someone who’s introverted and who either has creative talents or dresses a bit unusually, whatever the person’s actual personality is like.
IOW, human beings aren’t TVTropes entries ;p
As for Brooding Boys; they all want to be Hamlet or Morrissey but most of them end up being closer to Shinji Ikari.
I’d sort of argue that “brooding” in this sense is very far from “complaining”. Think Angel from BUFFY and ANGEL, he’s a broody misery guys at times but it comes out of a deep thoughtfulness and not complaining that his life is shit all the time.
I’ve known a LOT of people who tried to be the broody loner type (I was an English major in a previous life…there’s no shortage of broody bearded boys in the humanities) and most of them utterly missed the target for what might pass as attractive for the women who would be attracted to the dark and broody type.
Oh, I have met a few of those. I agree it’s not a good look.
Hell, even Actual Hamlet and Actual Morrissey (as opposed to the idealized misinterpretations of broody bearded boys) would be nightmare boyfriends.
“even Actual Hamlet and Actual Morrissey (as opposed to the idealized misinterpretations of broody bearded boys) would be nightmare boyfriends.”
CONFIRMED: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c4917bea35e55aaf3463e4ecec294996f207d5388cc4640c7dbf8d2791ae86f4.jpg
That made me go reread Dirtbag Hamlet, another truly excellent work in the field of Hamlet-bashing.
http://the-toast.net/2014/02/11/dirtbag-hamlet/
Angel fit in that cathergory? Guess my memories of Buffy are getting eroded or I’m terrible reading David Boreanaz’s body language.
Yeah, Angel on Buffy was a brooding loner; Angelus was not. And on the Angel show, Angel wasn’t really a loner any more. But brooding loner totally fits him for first season of Buffy and much of the third season.
I kind of feel like Angel was emotionally cut off from his partners and friends for large chunks of ANGEL so I think it sort of fits…but like all simple labels it’s one that moves around a bit and I’m probably projecting my own assumptions of what qualifies as much as anything.
See? That’s the problem. Fitting that defintion has only gotten me isolation in general.
One of the biggest challenges that I personally faced before I started working out regularly, was that I didn’t define myself as a person who works out. I wasn’t the person who went to the gym, I never participated in sports, I was the artsy girl, not the jock. The thinker not the doer. So a huge hurdle was getting over myself. I think I had this fear that if I started working out regularly I would have to become one of those people with the cool expensive workout outfits, post about my workouts, asking others if they even lift 😉 , and kind of it becoming my whole life. Because, let’s be honest, that does happen. Most trainers I know started out just wanting to be healthy people and then working out because their whole lives.
When I realised that I could work out AND have a life outside of it, that I didn’t need to be that person, didn’t need to constantly talk about it when I wasn’t doing it, didn’t need to spend a ton of cash on workout clothes etc, I was able so much more to embrace it. Yes, I had to change up my routine and schedule, yes I also changed up my eating habits. And let me tell you, it was hard. But none of it became all consuming, I made sure to keep focus on my other hobbies and interests.
Another thing: I hate working out. I hate it. I don’t enjoy it at all. I enjoy having done it, but I never enjoy actually doing it. And that’s okay. I have decided to embrace the fact that I am doing it for my health and yes for my vanity as well, but that I will never like it. And oddly embracing that was very freeing.
Last thing: if you have the means, hire a trainer. It’s super expensive so of course it’s not an option for many, but if you can afford it, do it. Having a trainer takes so much of the brain power part of working out out of the equation. Plus you get a new friend 🙂 (obviously you only want to work out with someone you like, and if you see them regularly, friendship usually blooms)
Working out isn’t something you will love when you start out. Not to say you will hate it, but it is something you become accustomed to overtime. That being said, what type of workouts do you do that you hate? Lifting isn’t for everyone, and I understand it’s different for women, but certainly you have found some physically demanding activity in which you look forward to.
Btw, I totally understand where you are coming from, though we have different conclusions. For me, lifting isn’t something I love, it’s something I have to do.
Honestly, you just gotta trust me that this is how it is for me. Yes absolutely there are physical activities I enjoy, but I find most of them become quite all consuming, take over your life etc, and the costs can add up. I have tried everything from dancing to rock climbing, pilates and yoga to cycling. But for me personally the thing I can maintain, that doesn’t overwhelm me psychologically and that doesn’t completely change everything about my life is very boring basic weight training plus cardio (jogging) – and a specific diet along with that (I should add I prefer lifting to cardio, I think most women do). And that was my point. I think sometimes the quest to find the thing that is fun can be overwhelming and take over and even if we find a fun thing trying to fit it in our life can be a hassle. For me it was about finding something I could do even if I didn’t love it, and that didn’t completely change my entire life. And that’s what I chose.
(also I’ve been working out for years and years now, I’m not just starting out. I’m coming at this from my years of personal experience)
“I should add I prefer lifting to cardio, I think most women do”
What is it that makes you think so? This would be my first time ever seeing someone state that and I’m curious what you’ve experienced that gives that conclusion.
Well okay to be fair I can’t say “most” with any certainty. All I know is from my own personal experience. And what I’ve seen is that women who aren’t into working out (so women like myself), who are just starting out and finding the thing they like (and who know that weight lifting won’t turn you into some bulked up body builder) tend to prefer weight training to cardio. I know that because it’s a lot easier to convince a woman to go to a weight training class, or to weight train with a trainer than to want to go for a bike ride or jog.
That being said, I suppose that isn’t necessarily most but a subset of women who really don’t enjoy physical activity (in the same way I don’t). I think the reason we prefer weights is it doesn’t make us as out of breath, you can do it in a small space, and you can see the improvement quite tangibly (oh look, I’m lifting a heavier weight now).
I can acknowledge that the weight rooms at gyms can be intimidating because the men there are often quite territorial (and large, for obvious reasons) so many women in that context do avoid that part of the gym. But just from what I’ve seen, it’s a lot easier to convince a woman who has no interest in working out to lift some weights than go for run.
Oh, that makes sense. As someone who dislikes physical activity, weight lifting does sound more reasonable.
Another woman in my weight loss group mentioned during a meeting that she walks with headphones in because she got tired of hearing snickering teenagers whenever she goes out. I’m sure she’s not the only one and I’m betting one reason some women prefer weight training (indoors with trainer and other people also training) over cycling/jogging (outdoors in public) is because of the possibility of people judging them.
I’m a studio exercise girl. Dudes will literally stay at the window and gawk. Once I quit ballet, I got to choose studios where I don’t have to go through that. If I’m at a studio where the instructor won’t let us close the blinds and shut them out, I am OUT of there.
I even told my mom to quit gawking at me when I’m at her house working out. Hate, hate, HATE it.
I don’t know about other women, but for me, weight lifting actually feels rather good whereas cardio just doesn’t. (I enjoy walking but other than that I pretty much hate sports.)
That’s totally my feeling too 🙂
Me too. I feel a sense of accomplishment with weights that I just don’t feel with cardio.
I hear you on the fun forms of exercise being expensive and time-consuming. When I was competing in gymnastics on horseback, I had lessons 1-3 days per week, for 1-2 hours at a time. I also supplemented with body weight exercises, stretching, practicing some moves I could do at home, etc. Usually I went dancing for 3-4 hours once a week as well, since I enjoy that too, and it’s good cardio. There have been times when I simply couldn’t devote that much time to exercise, though.
Yeah, people complain about how the treadmill is so boring, but honestly, it’s the easiest way to fit in as much cardio (and thus calorie burn) as possible. Keeping it simple makes it easier for me to think of exercise as a habit, as just something one does for good health like brushing your teeth.
Yes, I can see that working! I take a similar approach to my PT exercises. They don’t require any special equipment, and I can do some of them before I get out of bed in the morning.
Another thing: I hate working out. I hate it. I don’t enjoy it at all. I enjoy having done it, but I never enjoy actually doing it. And that’s okay. I have decided to embrace the fact that I am doing it for my health and yes for my vanity as well, but that I will never like it. And oddly embracing that was very freeing.
This has been one of my best health lessons, and when I finally learned it, I felt so kuch better. Going to the gym sets off my anxiety some of the time and my ability to feel boredom and disgust most of the time? Okay, so does taking public transportation. Making dinner makes me think about vomiting? Okay, so does walking past a food cart. Cleaning the bathroom doesn’t make me think pleasant thoughts either, but I still do it, and in some ways it’s easier because I don’t expect it to be fun. When I decided cooking was like that too, it suddenly became a lot easier (the gym is still s work in progress).
Another thing: I hate working out. I hate it. I don’t enjoy it at all. I enjoy having done it, but I never enjoy actually doing it. And that’s okay. I have decided to embrace the fact that I am doing it for my health and yes for my vanity as well, but that I will never like it. And oddly embracing that was very freeing.
This has been one of my best health lessons, and when I finally learned it, I felt so kuch better. Going to the gym sets off my anxiety some of the time and my ability to feel boredom and disgust most of the time? Okay, so does taking public transportation. Making dinner makes me think about vomiting? Okay, so does walking past a food cart. Cleaning the bathroom doesn’t make me think pleasant thoughts either, but I still do it, and in some ways it’s easier because I don’t expect it to be fun. When I decided cooking was like that too, it suddenly became a lot easier (the gym is still a work in progress).
So much good advice.
You also don’t have to hire the trainer for life. You can hire him or her for a few sessions to get you started … then check in after a few months on the program you work out together to revise your goals.
Yes! That’s a very good point. 🙂
Always looking for that money-saving idea – especially since we have no idea how the economy’s going to go under the current Occupant …
I actually enjoy working out, but I agree that a trainer (in my case, the coach at the gym) to work with me one-on-one really helps with both my form and my motivation.
I’m a huge advocate of counting calories, at least for a week just to see how much food we actually consume. Many people just add up the three big meals and take the total caloric value without actually logging what goes on between. Half of my work is in an office, and I see people all the time just eating at the desk, a cupcake here, donut there, pretzels, potato chips, and occasionally, someone will have an apple. And many think it’s justified when they count the fact they drink diet soda. Just log these little items we eat almost subconsciously and people would be surprised at the calories consumed.
Hell, while we’re at it, by actually lifting weights, whether it be the 5X5 compound lift program, the Texas method lift, or Isolation lifts (my personal preference), more calories will be needed to compensate for all that energy being burned. Just stop eating shit like cake and muffins, and you could eat twice as much chicken breast or strained yogurt as cake to fill in the void.
If you both hate restricting calories and hate cutting out foods from your diet, my rather old fashioned advice would be to consider learning to cook or cooking a little more often. Due to ED-related issues, I can’t diet in conventional ways, but I tend to lose a little weight and be a bit healthier when I make my meals. Putting in a 30 or 60 minute delay between “I’m hungry” and “I’m eating” results in some interesting changes in appetite, and having leftovers (especially ones that involve vegetables) sitting around can lead to healthier choices in moments when you might otherwise order takeout. Or at least that’s what I’m going to tell myself about that time last week when I did have fried chicken for breakfast!
Also, have a “go-to” quick healthy meal. I call fish tacos (nuke or broil a tilapia filet like you get in mega-packs from the supermarket, throw it on a warmed-up corn tortilla with some onion salt, salsa, avocado, and sriracha and cheese/ veggies/ beans/ brown rice as available) “bachelorette chow,” because it’s just what I give myself because I don’t eat Soylent.
Oh, I have one of those! I call it “boring dinner,” and mine is way more boring than yours (I’m actually now wondering if frozen tilapia filets are available in my small, landlocked town, because fish tacos are sounding pretty good). My boring dinner is just chicken thighs with spice rub I like, with some kale cooked with garlic and anything else that’s leftover or close to going bad. It’s not the best thing I can make, but I like it well enough and it doesn’t require meal planning because I always have the ingredients. When I combine that with a batch of something from the “tastes better reheated” list that I make on a day off and two or three “nice dinner” meals and their leftovers, that ends up being most of a week’s dinners and lunches.
For me it’s an omelette with low calorie cheese and diced peppers for texture. So quick and delicious and FILLING.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never mind all that Good Advice.
Who is that chunky fitness model in the singlet, and when is he coming to my gym?
A girl needs to know these things.
I thought a singlet was what the guy in the last picture is wearing, and he isn’t chunky! If you mean the shirtless guy, that’s Björnsson. He’s identified just above his photo in the article.
Or maybe there’s that show on Netflix that you want to watch – so you make a deal with yourself to only watch it while you’re at the gym.
Sold!
I’m going to get a stationary bike, binge watch Netflix and pedal ’til I drop.
Not going to lie, my motivation for it is primarily to get high. Of course, the other upsides of exercise are amazing in their own right, better health and mood overall but there’s nothing quite like pushing through that treshold when after you’re done, you have a cold shower (constricts the blood vessels and spikes the effect) and sit down floating on endorphins and adrenaline. It has to be strenous to really get there but if you do it right, it kind of tops sex even.
I want to feel that again now, but it’s difficult to motivate oneself to go so far because of both boredom and strain until you reach the point, but that’s where the distraction of Netflix comes in.
That can work, if you’re the sort of person who gets endorphin highs.
I think I am. I remember having it.
Oh, and the good thing about old training equipement such as stat bikes. is that it’s not all that hard to find people who wants to give theirs away for free!
Even if you never lose a pound, putting healthy food into your body will only do you good. Plus, fellas, you get in the habit of cooking fresh food, which will work in your favour with women. It’s a sign you can adult and that she won’t be stuck with all the meal prep as if she’s your mother.
Getting some fresh air is also really important for your emotional well-being, especially if you live alone and only leave the house to work and forage for food.
A man who can cook is a man who can make me dinner when I’m exhausted after work. A huge selling point if I’m dating you.
I say this as someone married to a man who struggles with ramen. 🙁
It’s a sign you can adult and that she won’t be stuck with all the meal prep as if she’s your mother
It also means that if some or even all of the meal prep ends up being her job, that you’ll be a more pleasant person to cook for. I used to be really intimidated about making food for or sharing food with experienced cooks, since I wasn’t very confident in my abilities, but on average they’re a lot more appreciative than people who don’t know anything about it.
Everything you write here (e.g. “weight loss and fitness aren’t necessarily synonymous”) is positive, non body shaming guidance. If only women’s fitness articles were written like this!
Also, swimming is great for both physical and mental health–one of my favorite aspects of it is that you absolutely cannot be distracted by your phone while you do it.
Heh, I used to love swimming, but the thing I don’t like about it is that I can’t swim while listening to headphones or reading, and since I’ve bceome an anxious fucker I need something to keep the brainbox busy!
I love swimming because it is so meditative and peaceful while I’m doing it. Once I’m out of the water though, I’m ravenous! I think it’s because my body temperature drops, and it’s screaming “must have fuel to stay warm!”
Whenever I go swimming, I want to eat PB&J afterwards. I’m sure there’s a science-y or psychological reason for this, but that’s always what I want!
I find the last point is CRITICAL for me with keeping up with any kind of exercise routine. I have to have a goal in mind besides just “looking hot” (because that’s just not something i care that much about.) So I dance, because it is a skill and it makes me feel good in my body. Eventually with any kind of physical skill you need more gym training to get better at it, but, at least I am doing it with a purpose, not just working out to say that I have worked out.
A secondary but no less critical thing for me is making working out as easy as possible. I remove all possible barriers to going to the places of working out. My dance classes are on my way home from work, my gym used to be in my office building. I never have to get off the couch and leave my comfortable home to go work out. I’m already out. I pack my gym bag and keep it in the car, I even bring my own big fluffy towels and always keep some yoga pants in my car.
Because if I go home, and the only reason I have to leave again is to make myself sweaty and uncomfortable, I am not going to do it. I know this about myself, and I’m not going to pretend that I’m magically going to turn into the kind of person who wants to go work out. I’m not. I hate it.
That’s definitely the first thing I’ve ever considered in deciding on any routine: how easy is it to get started up. If it requires packing a bag, setting up equipment, etc. those are just more things that are going to become obstacles and excuses down the road.
Yup, I recently found a guy on you tube who does really great hip hop dance videos, woo Cardio. And Literally all I have to do is go into my living room and put on the PS4, and sometimes, that is too much work. So yeah. No obstacles.
I agree with all this. Plus, people tend to get into fitness thinking it’s just going to be “a little while”. So they power through at first. But if your routine isn’t sustainable, you’ll give up. It’s why so many people diet and then gain back all the weight.
Getting fit isn’t just a phase, it’s usually a lifestyle change.
I don’t think that’s the only reason that people gain back weight.
The human body is also more complicated than the “calories in calories out” equation that is popularly thought to be how the human body works. The research on people who have lost large amounts of weight is really interesting. It is not just about not keeping up with routine, though that certainly can be a problem, even maintaining diets cannot always keep the weight off for some people. (reading about some of the biggest loser contestants for example can be very alarming.)
It makes sense when you think of it evolutionary, when you diet, your body thinks you are starving and that there is a famine. So it starts hoarding those calories and keeping you from expending as much energy, because it’s trying to keep you alive.
A lot of people only think of fat as being this thing that we have to lose, but it is also our body’s way of storing energy for when we need it. And depending on your body composition, your metabolism, your hormones, you’re going to store fat differently from other people. Twin studies have shown that weight is almost as tied to genetics as height.
That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to eat healthy and be active. But it’s incorrect to assume that eating healthy and being active will lead to thinness in every human being.
“it’s incorrect to assume that eating healthy and being active will lead to thinness in every human being.”
I agree with your arguments above. Nevertheless, let’s agree to talk about a fit body, not a model’s body (you can be quite fit and still be 20-30 pounds above what you’d like to see in the mirror). Agonizing over the perfect physique only brings grief. I’m all for reasonable ambition^^.
“when you diet, your body thinks you are starving and that there is a famine. ” That’s why progressive diets (or to begin with, just keep the same calorie count but by eating healthy food, removing alcohol etc.) are much much better than crash diets. Indeed, cutting your intake from 4000 calories to 1000 will get your body in overdrive.
It’s better to cut down to 3500 and add a couple of hours of working out over the week. Then, you’ll move down to 3000 etc.
It’s a long process (and like you said, genetics, medical issues, or simply how long you’ve been overweight -since it affects how your body stores and burns fat- play a role in this), and I think what can be disheartening is to realize that you may be years away from your goal weight.
Yeah I guess I think focusing on fitness goals and healthy eating is a better road to health, vs focusing on any kind of goal weight. Most of the trainers that I have worked with have avoided focus on weight simply because as you gain muscle that number goes up, but that doesn’t make you less healthy.
Everybody has to find what works for them though. If having a goal weight is what keeps you on track that’s great. For me, even the idea of weighing myself makes me want to give up. And counting calories makes me want to throw things and say fuck you before I eat an entire cake.
I actually eat far less now that I don’t have any kind of calorie or meal plan component to my eating habits. I just ate the last Tagalong from my girl scout cookies from last year. If you’re allowed to eat whatever you want you might find that you actually aren’t that hungry.
So it’s really about getting to know yourself and your body and how you respond to different stimuli, and then making a healthy lifestyle with good food and physical activity work for you.
Yep! A small greyhound and a large basset hound are both supposed to weigh around 60 pounds. If you give them the same amount of food and the same amount of exercise, at enough for the greyhound to maintain its weight, the basset will quickly become obese.
I’ve had this discussion on the horse discussion boards I post on before as well. If you feed an off-the-track Thoroughbred and an airfern sturdy Fjord the same amount and exercise them the same amount, the Thoroughbred will be skinny and the Fjord will be too plump.
Willpower has nothing to do with their weight in either case! An author I know wrote about his struggle with weight after an injury. He ran marathons before he got hurt. Until he healed enough to get back into serious training, he put on a ton of weight, even on an extremely restricted diet.
Yup, I think it is so funny that people accept that there are people who never get fat no matter how much they eat. And yet have a hard time accepting that there are people who never get thin no matter how much they don’t eat.
One of my favorite studies was done on Amish men, where they studied their weight gain patterns and essentially found that for some of them they had to be working in the fields 6-8 hours a day to avoid gaining weight. Whereas others would keep a fairly low weight regardless of their activity levels.
One of the facets of weight loss and fitness that people don’t understand is the lifestyle change part of it, but the other part is that once you reach your target weight, a lot of people simple stop their diets or their exercise programs and then can’t figure out why they’re gaining again.
Even after losing weight, it’s still at least a good six months to a year before your body catches up with things and finds a new resting point, and even then, in order to maintain fitness and weight loss, you need to keep up with what you were doing.
Maintaining fitness and weight loss is just as much a part of being healthy as dieting or exercising.
Same with muscles, you can look at a lot of Hollywood actors who bulk up for a role and then seem to deflate once it’s done. Being swol means maintaining it, which is another reason not to chase after Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine body, because even he can’t keep that up.
Yeah, that’s why I kinda roll my eyes at people who get super extreme with their diet changes – gluten free everything and cauliflower crust pizza and whatever. For most people it’s like, sure, you’ll lose weight, but the second you deviate from this super strict diet, all that weight’s gonna come flying back on. It’s much more practical to think in terms of, “Okay, IF I’m super busy and tired, what’s something on the McDonald’s menu that isn’t a total calorie bomb?”
I dunno, I’m sure highly curated diets work great for some people, and I can see adding some low carb or vegan recipes to my rotation, but for me, a diet that’s too strict leads to perfectionism and burnout.
Don’t forget the moment when you rebel against yourself because you’ve declared all your favourite foods “forbidden”, and declare “Fuck it, I’m an ADULT and I WORK for my money and I AM EATING A PIZZA FUCK YOU.”
It’s so much better to reduce your favourites to once a week or once a month, or swap them for lower calorie alternatives. You can get fun-size versions of nearly every chocolate bar there is. There are low-fat crisps that don’t give you diarrhea. You can get little chocolate brownie bars that are so delicious, come individually wrapped, and are only 90 calories and when you want cake you eat one of them and now you’ve had your chocolately cake and you don’t want or need a big slice of cake any more. Half of the lifestyle change is managing your cravings and finding ways to hit them that don’t ruin your attempts at weight loss/healthy eating.
There’s also those microwave mug cakes for that “little bit of treat to get me through” kinda thing. Bonus with that is you don’t have a big box of them sitting around tempting you (although making myself write down all my food does keep me accountable/not flying through a whole box of brownie bites or whatever).
This is the one I’ve tried, although there are loads of recipes for that kind of thing online:
https://www.budgetbytes.com/2012/06/the-one-chocolate-mug-cake/
Absolutely! I used to park my car, walk to work, walk back, then go straight to the gym and then go home. It was a great routine but if I deviated in any respect it tended to fall down and I wouldn’t get my exercise in. When I changed jobs (which meant longer hours further away) I tried to keep going to the gym for a while but the lack of proper routine meant that I just stopped after a while. If you can find a routine that really works and stick to it it’s so much better.
These days I have a dog and she needs to be walked so I have incentive to get going but the routine is still important. I go straight after breakfast. If something breaks that routine it’s so much harder to get going.
Someone who’s relying on you can be really helpful. (A dog, a gym buddy, a walking partner.) As long as they’re the kind that will be there and doesn’t hold you back. I’ve had gym buddies and walking partners who don’t turn up or who kind of hang back so you don’t get as much out of your work out or don’t end up going at all and I’ve had others that I don’t want to disappoint so I get out of bed and meet up with them or who push me more than I would push myself. (I walk with someone a couple of days a week who walks faster than I do. My walks on those days are much better for my overall fitness than my usual ones!)
Not sure if someone already mentioned this, but I remember reading that weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise. You could technically lose weight without exercise, but you’d be miserable and starving and it would be *much* slower (well, that’s been my experience).
I use an app called Lose It! to count calories and exercise and there’s a social component as well. I got a Fitbit for my birthday last month and I love it. I’ve used it less than a month and my regular resting heart rate has already gone down like 11 bpm (because it did a good job of guilting me into exercise). Basically, I know *how* to lose weight, I just need structure and motivation, and Lose It! and the Fitbit help with that.
I’ve made several attempts at weight loss the last couple years and historically I’d have a little success and then hit a wall and kinda peter out and give up. The reason for that wall is because I get sinus infections and get too sick to exercise. I try to tell myself, “Okay, well, sure, that might slow me down, but it doesn’t mean I have to give up.” Ultimately, it’s more important that the weight *stay* off than that it comes off at a certain rate.
I think it may depend on the person? I’ve generally found that diet is far more important than exercise to weight loss (which is good because I have a chronic illness and have difficulty with exercise.) I lost nearly twenty kilos by changing my diet alone (and kept it off until I had a setback last year.)
But years ago, when I was well and started going to the gym (without changing my diet) I didn’t loose weight at all (I did feel great and I did loose cms in places but there was no dramatic difference for the hours I was putting in!) I went for over a year so it wasn’t exactly short term either.
I got a lot out of dance–salsa, tango, burlesque, and belly. It helped my movement and my posture, and got me more comfortable touching, reading and leading another person’s body as well as more comfortable, aware, and in control of my own.
So from a dating-improvement perspective it paid off in a few areas at once–improved my fitness, introduced me to more people, and helped me with my own physical comfort/confident with mine and other people’s bodies
Also for what it’s worth, as someone in my 40s, I’m finding reward in spending less excercise time on thinner-faster-stronger stuff and more on doing everyday movements more efficiently–walking, shoulder-checking, reaching, texting, bending or rolling over, etc.
It keeps me aware of my body throughout the day because those are actions I do frequently. And because I do them so often, I also figure a) they’re the actions that most contribute to my quality of life so I want to be able to do them as well as I can for as long as I can and b) doing them carelessly is most likely to break my body down over time.
i didn’t really see this article mention it, but another important thing about getting fit is to do it in a way you don’t injure yourself.
i’ve been lifting now for about ten years. before that, i was pretty inactive and ate like crap but would have periods of time where i would try to either restrict calories and clean up my diet, do cardio, or both. it wasn’t until i also added weight lifting into the mix that i actually achieved my fitness goals, and up until about 2015, i was in damn good shape.
…until i injured myself. because of what i now know are slight anatomical defects i was born with (one of the bones in my forearms is shorter than it is in most people but the other is a “normal” length), i injured first one wrist, had surgery, then i injured the other one a year later in a completely different way. my form was always good, and i had worked with personal trainers off and on…but because humans are built differently, my “good” form wasn’t actually good for the wrists i have. i’ve seen about five doctors for the second wrist, and have had differing opinions on whether i should rest it or use it normally/continue lifting.
i’m still not in bad shape, but i look at photos of myself from a couple years ago and wish i had been more careful, because it’s proving to be a hard road to work through injury and pain to get back to where i was.
if something hurts or doesn’t seem right (different from soreness btw), stop and get it checked out if the pain doesn’t go away within a reasonable amount of time.
Hi! long time reader but never commented here. Just want to say that you guys (and of course the doc) have helped me grow so much all this time that I’m glad this week’s theme gives me an opportunity to give something back. Fitness is my jam. Adding to what the good doctor said, here goes some more specific yet quite general tips:
[Obligatory “sorry for the bad english” in advance]
Well, was writing what was probably the longest comment of the history of the site, about nutrition, so i stopped, pasted it in a google doc and give it some format. If you want to read it, go here: https://goo.gl/gwkf9N
About exercising, I just have one advice that has been my cornerstone and the reason why I’m the only one among the guys I know who continues with the thing: BE A NERD ABOUT IT. Seriously. Everybody just goes to some place to do some activity in whatever way or the way they are told to do so. Be a nerd, bloody investigate how to improve by yourself, which goals to reach, how to get to them. Read articles, there are tons and you are going to find them very engaging being about something you do and live. Watch videos on youtube, there are so many channels with such great content to help you improve in your physical activity of choice. Stop seen your activity as a chore and see it as a skill to be polished, strive for perfection, enjoy the journey. And if your activity is such a mundane drag that doesn’t allow for noticeable improvement, leave it at once! try to find something else, and for that too be a nerd.