Dump Your Toxic Friends

"Hey, bro! Got any shreds of self-esteem I can destroy today?"

There’s a quote attributed to Steven Winterburn that I like: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” I find that many of the people I coach need to do this sort of examination, because we all tend to have a specific blindspot […]

The Surprising Need for Male Intimacy

The Surprising Need for Male Intimacy

How many of you have a close friend? And I don’t mean someone you game with or go out on the town or the ever classic “help you move bodies”. How many of you have a friend – or several friends – who you can go to when you need help. When you need emotional support […]

Understanding The Dangers of Dating

Understanding the Dangers of Dating

One of the side-effects of writing dating advice for men is that I hear a lot of complaints about women – specifically about how women are “doing it all wrong” and not “making it easier” on guys. Every time I answer a woman’s question about dealing with somebody who’s being creepy, there are the inevitable […]

It’s OK To Be Single


Friday was Valentine’s Day – or as I like to call it, “the Holy Day of Lover’s Obligation” , which of course is an absolutely miserable time to be alone. Whether you’re trying to co-opt it with a cutesy “Gal-entine’s day” or “Pal-entine’s day”, an anti-V-day party or just sitting at home hating the world, […]

Defining A Modern Masculinity

Defining a Modern Masculinity

I spend a lot of time thinking about masculinity and what it means to be a man. It’s a natural consequence of the job, to be honest; a lot of dating is caught up in the ideas of traditional gender roles, of the man as aggressor and female as receiver, of male and female sexual […]