One of the things I like to do as a dating coach is to keep up with the latest research on relationships and dating. So naturally, I like to read the latest studies coming from esteemed peer-reviewed journals such as, er. Esquire Magazine.
Joking aside, the article Here’s What Happened When Our Bosses Forced Us on a Blind Date for Science – which wins an award for a headline that doubles as both clickbait and the title of a Chuck Tingle short-story – was an interesting experiment in social dynamics. Esquire writer Nate Hopper and ELLE writer Keziah Weir were set up on a series of dates and various tests over a period of three weeks. In between meetings, the two would work with a psychologist, an anthropologist and a geneticist to see what it meant to be compatible and try various experiments that promise to jumpstart chemistry.
SPOILER ALERT: In the end they come to the conclusion that while they like each other well enough, there’s no real excitement there. As Weir puts it: “Because not even science could mimic that awful, wonderful buzz of early uncertainty—is he going to call, is she going to say yes? Maybe that’s the last 10 percent of the love equation: the spark.”
It’s that one word that stands out: uncertainty. As much as we may say that we dread the early stages of dating and wish that we could leap-frog them straight to a relationship, it’s that intrigue, the excitement that comes with the uncertainty and mystery that helps provide the initial spark that blooms into the fire of the mutual attraction. In fact, a little uncertainty can save an otherwise dying relationship.