Straight talk time: confidence is sexy.
Someone who lacks confidence – even if he looks like a GQ cover model – is going to be considerably less attractive than someone who may not have perfect facial features but does have abundant self-esteem. This isn’t just “rah rah self-esteem” feel-good bullshit; confidence actually alters how people see you. In a study published by the International Journal of Cosmetic Science researchers found that raising men’s confidence – in this case, via the placebo effect triggered by giving men a new cologne – made them visibly more attractive as rated by a panel of women who viewed them on video. Their facial structure was less important their body language, posture and behavior.
The problem however, is that it’s very easy to get it wrong. All too often, we rely on a form of false confidence – over-inflating our sense of self-worth irrespective of reality, trying to artificially inflate it by “being alpha” or just plain “positive thinking”‘; as a result, we end up wildly overestimating our abilities or value. Other times we end up sabotaging ourselves, draining away our self-esteem and leaving us feeling horrible about ourselves no matter how much work we put in.
So how do we quit undermining ourselves and build a genuine sense of confidence and self-esteem?