One of the hardest things to learn is how to get back on your feet when you’ve been knocked on your ass. Especially when it happens over and over again.
In fact, constant failure and crushing disappointment are two of the biggest demotivating factors you can find in life. When you’ve been hurt enough times, suffered enough times, eventually you begin to believe that you have no other options. Even when they’re pointed out to you.
If you’ve spent much time online, then you’ll have seen many, many people who have, essentially, given up, especially when it comes to dating and romance. In the dating sphere, it often splits in two directions – either in nihilistic despair of the Forever Alone subreddits and the “involuntary celibacy” or “incel” community or in misdirected anger and frustration from the “Men Going Their Own Way” types. In both variations, they have thrown their hands up and given in to the feeling that there is no point; all of life is pain and frustration and there’s nothing to be done about it. Some externalize their anger: the system is rigged against them, society is inherently biased against them or towards others. Some internalize it and blame themselves. Some, especially those dealing with depression issues, will take it as confirmation that they are worthless, ugly and quintessentially unlovable.
This is known as “learned helplessness”; you have been conditioned through negative stimuli to believe that you are powerless, impotent and there is nothing you can do about it.
Except… you’re wrong.
Today it’s time to take back control of your life. It’s time to remember the power that you contain.
It’s time to unlearn everything you’ve been taught.