The Myth of What Women Want


One of the ongoing themes here at Paging Dr. NerdLove is that one of the keys of dating success is understanding women – especially what women want. Of course, it’s hard to actually relate to women when we’re acculturated into an antagonistic relationship with women, where men and women may as well be separate species [...]

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Are We Having Enough Sex?

Ask Dr. NerdLove

Doctor’s Note: I’m on vacation this week. But rather than not have any updates or re-run old articles, I’ll be posting extra “Ask Dr. NerdLove” columns. The regular publishing schedule will resume on June 16th. Doctor, please help us. My husband and I are about to reach our ten year anniversary and are in the [...]

The “Problem” with Male Virginity

"Easy for you to say, Mr. Player."

On Monday, I talked a little about the toxic culture surrounding masculinity and how it hurts men. Today, I want to start the conversation to help dismantle it. And one of the best places to start is to talk about sex. Specifically: male virginity and the shame in not having sex. One of the things that I’ve [...]

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Enforce My Boundaries?

Ask Dr. NerdLove

Doc, I was hoping you could help me with something. I’m a 30 year old guy who was sexually abused as a child by a woman. When I was younger, dating and even flirting with women brought about anxiety and a vague sense of dread. A few years ago, I got myself into therapy, started [...]

Your No-BS Guide to Lasting Longer In Bed

How To Last Longer In Bed

One thing I’ve learned over the years – both through my own experiences and from coaching others – is that men are all quivering bundles of anxieties and insecurities. We’re not allowed to actually, y’know, voice most of these concerns – goes against Man Code, after all – but we sure as hell feel them. And it’s that [...]