What’s Wrong With “Taking The Red Pill”

"Take the red pill and spend a LOT of time yelling on the Internet."

You may have noticed over the years that I cover a lot of topics that don’t seem to fit squarely in this blog’s mission statement of helping nerds date better. One of the reasons why I write about feminist issues or bad behavior within the geek community is because, frankly, getting better at dating is a holistic system. As I’m fond [...]

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Get Over My Girlfriend’s Sexual History?

Ask Dr. NerdLove

Doctor’s Note: I’m working on a new book, due out in 2015 from Thought Catalog. While I’m pounding out the manuscript, Paging Dr. NerdLove is going to be working on a lighter schedule, focusing on reader’s questions. New Ask Dr. NerdLove articles will be going up every Monday and Friday. We’ll be back to the [...]

Are You Sexually Compatible?

"Amazing how you can stay up to catch the midnight movie premier, but you're 'too tired' when I even look at you cross-eyed."

Let’s talk a little about relationship longevity. Most relationships aren’t going to have what it takes to go the distance. In fact, many relationships simply can’t last because of a simple fact: you’re not sexually compatible. It may not seem like it at first, while you’re caught up in the throes of new relationship energy. Even if [...]

Anatomy Lesson: When Persistence Pays Off

A little persistence can go a long way

There’s an important rule when it comes to self-improvement, especially when it comes to dating: some things can only be learned from experience. It’s easy to get caught up in dogmatic rules, but time and experience can teach you when exceptions arise. For example: I’m a big believer in the efficient use of one’s time [...]

The Myth of What Women Want


One of the ongoing themes here at Paging Dr. NerdLove is that one of the keys of dating success is understanding women – especially what women want. Of course, it’s hard to actually relate to women when we’re acculturated into an antagonistic relationship with women, where men and women may as well be separate species [...]