Archives for July 2011

How To Get Girls Into Comics…

July 29, 2011 by Dr. NerdLove 23 Comments

Don… oh screw it, I’ve made this joke too many times.

This is one of the most common questions I get that isn’t “Should I tell her I like her?” or “how do I get this girl to like me?” and it deserves its own entry into the Dr. NerdLove canon. It’s one of the issues where what’s being said isn’t really what’s being asked.

Stick with me for a second here.

Y’see, geeks, as a group, tend towards insecurity and self-loathing. Even with the rise of geek culture, video games cresting as a multi-billion dollar industry, the increasing popular acceptance of graphic novels as a valid medium and nine out of the top ten highest grossing movies in history being geek movies, the collective self-esteem of geeks and nerds remains fairly low.

If it weren’t, I wouldn’t be running this blog, now would I?

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Ask Dr. NerdLove: What They Don’t Wear Beneath Their Kilts…

July 28, 2011 by Dr. NerdLove 6 Comments

I have a bit of a complication and I was hoping that the good doctor might help me out. I’ve never considered myself a creeper, or ‘that guy’. I’m a geek yes, a nerd even, hell I make a living drawing cartoons. I’m not a virgin, and I don’t have a confidence issue talking with girls or knowing when not to. What I do have is an image issue, or rather what I perceive as one.

As you may have guessed by the title I don’t wear pants. I wear a variety of Utility Kilts, mixed in with tank tops, tattoos, and mid back length hair. I like my look, but I feel that it’s getting in the way of me charming a girl if they think I’m a metal head before I get a word in edgewise. Perhaps I’m not looking in the right places? Should I change the look I am happy with to increase my chances of getting a date or should I keep the kilted image and hope there’s a girl out there who’s not put off by it?

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Learn From This: Love and Other Drugs

July 27, 2011 by Dr. NerdLove 2 Comments

You know, I wasn’t planning to like this. I was honestly expecting a fairly lame, by-the-numbers boy-meets-girl-boy-loses-girl-boy-gets-girl with a variation on the Magic Indie Pixie Girl. I wasn’t expecting a remarkably touching relationship film, and I certainly wasn’t expecting a surprisingly subtle damning critique of the pharmaceutical and insurance companies.

Although I’ve got to admit, Anne Hathaway’s copious nudity didn’t hurt my intentions to cover it for a Learn From This.

I love my job.

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Jamie Randall, a med-school dropout turned slacker turned newbie pharmaceutical rep who’s only real gifts are his classic good looks and his immeasurable charm. Anne Hathaway plays Maggie Murdock, a different, surprisingly direct woman who may be immune to his charm and affects him in a way that he never expected. Gyllenhaal’s turn as an inveterate and shameless charmer obviously offers a great deal for nerds to learn from – assuming they know what they’re learning – but his relationship with Hathaway provides some valuable lessons in and of itself.

So what can we learn from this?

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Ask Dr. NerdLove: Go Go Dancer, Your Boyfriend’s Calling

July 26, 2011 by Dr. NerdLove 4 Comments

I can has a question. I’m a very average guy when it comes to dating, I feel. I go out on dates with girls once in a awhile. I don’t have any issues with asking girls out, but at the same time I’m not a “player”. The question is :

What do I do if I’m insecure about my girl’s career? Is there something to make it easier to get over?

I’ve been dating this girl for a while. I met her in a bar in downtown san diego. She was working there as a go-go dancer. Her lifestyle of constant bars and clubs, along with getting hit on by celebrities in LA makes me insecure. In the past few years she has been on an episode of Entourage and was a model for a long time in that TERRIBLE show called “Manswers” on Spike tv. I don’t stop her from doing anything, And I never pay for anything. But her lifestyle, and the fact that she makes more money then me makes me insecure.

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Online Dating 102: First Contact

July 25, 2011 by Dr. NerdLove 24 Comments

Now that you’ve had a week or two to write up your profile and dip your toe into the world of online dating, it’s time to take a step back and take stock.

How has it been going so far? Have you had much success with meeting people? Or are you sending a lot of messages out into the void, never to be heard from again? It can be frustrating, can’t it? Much like in real life, the only reaction that really infuriates is no reaction. Even a terse “Fuck off, cave troll” means that at least you’re being heard.

It can be frustrating, even a little confusing. It’s one of those times that makes you feel like you’re ready to scrap the whole idea and try your hand in places where you might have more success… like randomly approaching strangers and demanding that they get coffee with you.

But now that you’ve had some time to try things out… have you considered that maybe, just maybe, you’re going about it all wrong?

Much like dating in the real world, online dating presents an almost infinite number of ways to shoot yourself in the foot and kill your chances before you even get started. Much like in the real world, first impressions count for everything; in online dating, women have even more information to judge you by, so when you want to make contact with someone you have to shine.

Before we get into the art of crafting the perfect introduction, let’s look at the other way of contacting someone: the wink, poke, nudge, smile, flirt function. Just about every online dating site out there has some variation on this. In theory, it is supposed to be a cute and flirty way to tell someone that you’re interested in them, get them to check out your profile and maybe send you a message.

In reality, it’s seen as a passive-aggressive way of trying to bait someone else into making the first move. It’s a message that says “I’m too chicken-shit to/couldn’t be bothered to take the effort to write you first and so I’m hoping you’ll do the hard part for me.” It’s the Platonic Friend Gambit of online dating. Never use it. At best, it’s not going to get you anywhere. At worst, you’ve just sent the wrong message before you’ve said anything.

No, my friend, what you want is to cowboy up and actually write.

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