Archives for April 2012

How To Approach A Woman

April 30, 2012 by Dr. NerdLove 15 Comments

By the time this goes up, it will be the end of April and the start of May. Hooray, hooray, the first of May, outdoor fucking begins today.

With the warm spring sun slowly turning to summer (or not so slowly for those of us who live in the south – THANKS GLOBAL WARMING!), we’re entering prime time for going out and meeting new, sexy singles. Women are breaking out the sun-dresses that cling to every curve while men are breaking out their shorts and tighter tees. Sex is in the air and everybody is looking forward to hooking up.

So there is no better time for you to brush up your skills and get ready to meet the woman of your dreams.

We’ve talked about how to get comfortable talking to women. We’ve covered what to say. I’ve taught you how to beat your approach anxiety. You know what to look for to see if she’s interested in you.

Now it’s time to quit talking and start walking. It’s time for you to actually get out there and start meeting those awesome women you’ve been thinking about for so long.

Yes, it can be profoundly intimidating. Coming up to a total stranger and trying to get her interested in exploring the possibilities of a sexual or romantic relationship with you can be difficult and stressful. In a lot of ways you’re making yourself emotionally vulnerable and being rejected can sometimes feel like a rejection of everything about you.

But fortunately you don’t have to worry; I’m here to walk you through the steps, as well as the common pitfalls that you need to avoid.

[Read more…]

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Learn From This: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

April 27, 2012 by Dr. NerdLove 24 Comments

Scott Pilgrim makes for an interesting switch for Learn From This: not only is it another critically-acclaimed-if-underperforming movie, but it’s also a series of graphic novels from Bryan Lee O’Malley1 about a typical 20-something slacker from Toronto with typical relationship issues.

The ones about how the baggage from one’s past tends to affect your dating future, especially if you have unresolved issues regarding past relationships, the ones about being honest with yourself about who you are and what you want, the ones about how “I’m in love with this girl but her evil exes have banded together to control her love-life so now I have to fight them all to the death,” kind.

Y’know. The usual.

What makes a bit of a challenge is trying to condense 1100 pages of story into a 2-hour movie and then trying to further condense it into a 2000 word article on what my fellow geeky bretheren should take away from it all aside from massive crushes on Ellen Wong, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Brie Larsen and a sudden appreciation for Beck and Metric.

Envy Adams, ladies and gentlemen — *Sigh*

So I’m not going to bother.

Instead, I’ll be focusing on the graphic novel series with it’s rich backstory as well as the movie that brought it to life. Because, frankly, there’s a LOT you can learn from Scott Pilgrim and his precious little life.

[Read more…]

No relation [↩]

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Taking It Slow

April 25, 2012 by Dr. NerdLove 43 Comments

You just did an blog post about asking geeky guys out, but I have a specific question about that. I’m a geeky girl in college, a gamer, very socially active, and generally a direct person. I’ve been asked out a few times at parties and I’d like to switch things up by asking (other geeky) guys out myself, but… there’s always a but.

What’s holding me back is, well, sex. Or more like expectations about sex. The impression I’ve generally gotten is that the older my peers are, the less time they wait before having sex. I’d like to date and get to know some guys, but I’m not interested in hooking up or doing anything sexual with a relative acquaintance or someone I’m not in at least a semi-serious relationship with. The other thing is that if a woman is forward and initiates contact, the expectation seems to be that she’s experienced and well aware of how to flirt, and I don’t really have any experience with guys romantically or sexually.

So basically, how do I flirt with guys and ask them out while making it clear we’re not about to tumble into bed at the end of the first date… or the second… and so on without scaring them off? And while minimizing potential awkward and misunderstandings. I’m not looking to ~wait til marriage~ or set a strict time for when I’m down to do what, but I know I wouldn’t feel comfortable being intimate with someone I’m not already close to.

Takes Her Time

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Why Women Flake (And How To Stop It)

April 23, 2012 by Dr. NerdLove 126 Comments

How many times have you been doing well with a woman you’d just met only to have it fizzle out the next day with no warning? In the moment, everything was amazing; you were flirting back and forth, you got her number and the promise of getting together later. By all rights it should be all systems go for getting a date that weekend. Instead, it’s all last minute cancellations and radio silence. That first time you asked her out ended with “Sounds great, call me the day of, ok?”. The day of, it was “Oh I’m so sorry, but I’m actually busy today. Maybe next time?” Then… nothing. Your texts get one or two word answers. Your voice mails are never being returned. You’re shouting impotently into the void, hoping for an answer.

She flaked on you. Sucks, don’t it?

Unfortunately, flaking is a common occurrence when you’re dating, especially when you’re building your skills. It’s incredibly frustrating because it can feel as though it came out of nowhere – you were doing everything right and then suddenly you hit that wall of silence. So what can you do about it? Well, to start with, let’s examine why women flake… and then how we can prevent flakes from happening1 . [Read more…]

Let’s get the Head and Shoulders jokes out of the way now, shall we? [↩]

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Shacking up: How to Move In Together (Without Killing Each Other).

April 20, 2012 by Dr. NerdLove 9 Comments

Moving in together is one of the biggest milestones for a relationship; it’s up there with marriage and starting a family in terms of signs of commitment and investment. It’s also incredibly appealing – splitting the cost of living 50/50, hot and cold running sex whenever you want it, not having to maintain two households, the thrill of waking up with the man or woman you love in your arms… it’s almost enough to call your honey and tell ’em to start packing their bags, isn’t it?

Of course any dream can turn into a nightmare without warning. You’re expecting the sort of cohabiting bliss that you normally only see in sitcoms from the 50s, but what you get instead is the roommate from hell. You don’t know who this obsessive-compulsive demon is and what he’s done with the guy you thought you were shacking up with. The awesome “bangin’-out-on-every-flat-surface-in-the-apartment” sex has turned into “Once a month if the stars are aligned perfectly and there’s nothing better on TV.” Every conversation is a fight about money, chores or how you spend your free time.

You’re just about ready to choke a motherfucker and hope that they technically qualify as a recyclable rather than having to wait for the bulk pick-up. Where did your happy fantasy disappear to?

The unavoidable truth is, moving in together will inevitably change your relationship. You’re going to be sharing more than just living space and expenses, you’re going to be sharing your lives. So if you’re going to make the big leap into living together, you might to make sure you’re going to do it right.

There aren’t any guarantees in life, but following these tips will help you avoid turning your domestic bliss into a single-bedroom nightmare.

[Read more…]

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