Hey Doc, wondering if you could give me some advice here. I’m fairly inexperienced when it comes to dating, and though I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress in the past year I still find it hard to read whether a girl actually likes me or not. I’m in freshman year of college at the moment which doesn’t relate too much to my question, but I figured the added context would be nice.
So a little while back I met this girl at a team party (school sports) and it was one of those instant attraction types of things; for whatever reason I was just really into her right off the bat. Nothing happened that night, we just talked and flirted a bit (didn’t get a number, damn.) but I enjoyed myself. This was right before winter break so there was no real opportunity to keep up emotional momentum and I filed her away into the “nice girl, glad I met her” category.
Anyways, the first time I saw her after break was at another team event. This time a day trip where we just all had some fun times and chilled out. Again, we flirted and got on well, I was really enjoying myself. After the trip some of us met up at a party later in the evening and there we shared a brief but sweet make-out session. I got her number and things were going great, but after this point that she got considerably more difficult to read.
I texted her the next morning and she seemed kinda cold and stand-offish. I didn’t really try to milk it and figured she had enjoyed last night but didn’t want anything else. That was that.
A week or so later I got a text asking me to go out to the club (I’m Canadian, so drinking age is lower) with her and a few of her girlfriends, unfortunately I wasn’t able to go but made sure to mention that I’d love to get together some other time. Anyways, I texted her the next morning asking her how the night was etc. and got roughly the same treatment as before; polite indifference. Again, I dropped it, figured she was a few drinks deep and wanted some company and that it wasn’t anything serious. The next few times I saw her we were friendly and flirted a little, but nothing to really change my feeling that she just wanted to be friends.
Anyways, last weekend we had another team party and she was all over me. I had her friends and mine telling me to go for it and what-not but ultimately didn’t do anything. She was wasted by the end of the night and it was hardly fair to her especially given my doubts about how she feels about me in the first place. I didn’t get to talk to her after that (my phone was broken and I don’t have her on Facebook so there was no real means of communication) but I can’t help but think it would’ve been the same story. You’ve said a few times that alcohol doesn’t create feelings, it just lowers inhibitions and I guess I’m wondering if that’s what’s happening here. I figure either I’m being absolutely brain-dead and should just ask her out, or I should run the other way given that I’d like a relationship and she doesn’t seem all that interested when she’s sober.
Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?