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Archives for August 2014

The End of Gatekeeping: The Extinction Burst of Gaming Culture

August 29, 2014 by Dr. NerdLove 760 Comments

It’s been an ugly couple of weeks for gaming culture. Not only did the Zoe Quinn affair erupt, leading to the increased harassment and abuse of an indie games developer for the crime of being a woman in gaming, but Anita Sarkeesian was driven from her home by death threats following the release of the latest entry in the Tropes vs. Women In Video Games video series. It’s disturbing stuff to say the least and damning of geek and gaming culture as a whole that we keep having these same debates and watching the self-appointed gatekeepers of gaming attempt to chase women out of the clubhouse and off of the Internet because they dare to set foot into the “male” domain. It’s entitlement writ large – whiny children complaining that they’re not getting their every whim catered to.

And they have a point. They’re not. And that’s why the anger has grown so much hotter and the harassment has become so much more vicious. It’s an extinction burst.

"INCOMING!"
“INCOMING!”

We’re watching the beginning of the end of gatekeeping in gaming culture.

[Read more…]

Wednesday Open Thread: Video Games

August 27, 2014 by Dr. NerdLove 193 Comments

It’s Wednesday, which means it’s time for the weekly open thread. Today’s suggested topic: When is the last time a video game scared you? When’s the last time a video game made you cry?

(Well I can’t exactly post the moment that made me cry, can I?)

As per always, no hate, no trolls. Have fun!

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Is My Girlfriend a Gold-Digger?

August 25, 2014 by Dr. NerdLove 201 Comments

Dear Dr. NerdLove,

I’ve have been dating my girlfriend for about four months now.

It was some sort of non-official “valentines day” here in my country yesterday and we went to a bar to grab something to eat. of course I paid the bill. I pay the bill 97% of the time.

Anyway, my girlfriend bought me a T-shirt. Seems like she really wanted something in return. I didn’t get her anything because I was extremely busy with work.

We went to bed and then she started crying, blaming me for not “investing” enough in her, and that her female friends got a lot of presents flowers etc from their boyfriends. This makes me mad, because I give her a lot of attention love and always see her for at least one time in the middle of the week and we spend every weekend together and we talk all of the time over the phone and instant-message all day long.

What is it with women that they feel like they “need to be bought”? What? Isn’t my company enough? I never ask nothing but for her time and company.

Why is she reacting so badly?

In my way of thinking, we are two people who don’t want or need anything but each other’s company and time. but apparently it seems not the case for her.

She doesn’t seem like a gold digger to me, or am I just avoiding facing the truth?

What should I do?

Not A Walking ATM

[Read more…]

“Prove You’re A Man”: Violence, Harassment and Toxic Masculinity

August 22, 2014 by Dr. NerdLove 683 Comments

<This is co-published with Thought Catalog>

So on Monday, I wrote a thing about Christy Mack’s assault at the hands of her ex-boyfriend and the slut-shaming and victim blaming that resulted. It’s a complicated and tangled enough topic that it’s difficult to fit every angle and wrinkle in. But there was one topic that I wanted to get into that didn’t quite fit:  how the concept of “manhood” and masculinity ties into the abuse.

So of course, the universe decided to drop yet another opportunity to talk about sex, masculinity and violence… and wrapped up in the ongoing drama that is the geek community. Practically all of my favorite topics, wrapped up in one! Because if there’s anything I needed, it’s another reason to take a whack at the Nerds and Male Privilege hornet’s nest one more time.

"I'm just a piñata, Doc. I'm full of delicious candy, I promise!"
“I’m just a piñata, Doc. I’m full of delicious candy, I promise!”

Still, never let it be said that I don’t use every part of the news cycle buffalo, because I can’t help but notice similarities between the Christy Mack assault and the harassment of women in the video games industry. Confused? Hear me out…

[Read more…]

Wednesday Open Thread – Your Guilty Pleasure

August 20, 2014 by Dr. NerdLove

Another Wednesday, another open thread.

Today’s suggested topic: what’s your guiltiest of guilty pleasures?

As per usual: no hate, no trolling. Other topics are, of course, always welcome. Have at it.

Next Page »

About Dr. NerdLove:

Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) is an internationally recognized blogger and dating coach who gives dating advice to geeks of all stripes. Making nerds sexier since 20011

Remember: Dr. NerdLove is not really a doctor. [Read More …]

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Recent Comments

  • Will S. Oh my Transient Friend, I've been there, twice in a row with workmates - it was like reading a part of my own life story! My best advice would be just stop messaging her and move on immedialtey. If...

    I Was A Nice Guy And It Backfired. How Do I Win My Friend Back? ·  June 26, 2022

  • Belinda I had a f**k buddy situation in college for six months and I was completely infatuated with the guy. I wanted some much more for him, which he was well aware of. He did ask me to hang out, which I did...

    My Boyfriend’s Kink Turns Me Off. What Do I Do? ·  June 26, 2022

  • fuzzilla On the one hand, it might have kept me stuck and not fully open to dating someone else (and I did date other people, but maybe I wasn’t as “all in” as I could have been). On the other hand, it...

    My Boyfriend’s Kink Turns Me Off. What Do I Do? ·  June 26, 2022

  • Belinda It was an eye-opening experience. One I kind of wish I didn't have. I mean, a good number of these guys were my buddies. They were flirtatious with me and I of course assumed there were other women...

    I Was A Nice Guy And It Backfired. How Do I Win My Friend Back? ·  June 26, 2022

  • Belinda "To wait for the guy to volunteer more before giving him the world." Or don't treat him like your boyfriend unless he's your boyfriend. Idk. I am not a fan of FWBs. Hooking up a couple of times, fine....

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