Archives for November 2014

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Does She Really Want To Be Just Friends?

November 28, 2014 by Dr. NerdLove 10 Comments

Doc, I need your help.

So I recently met this girl at a Halloween party, we hit it off and I ended up making out with her before she left the party. So far so good. The next day, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of the past of being unclear with my intentions sent the following message

“Hey,

So I’ll be honest, i don’t know what last night was, but I enjoyed it and I’d like to do it again. So do you wanna get coffee or see a movie sometime, see where it goes?”

She said yes and I ended up hanging out at her place to watch “only lovers left alive”. We talked some more, it was awkward at first but things seemed to be going well. I learned that she was 3 years older than me (she’s 24, I just turned 21) but that didn’t bother me, I’d had bad experiences dating people younger than me in the past and thought this would be a nice change of pace.

This time we hung out also seemed to go well, we made out on her couch, almost had sex but stopped cause her sister was coming over soon and she didn’t want to be caught in the act. No biggie, fair enough. We leave it with her giving me a lift home and making out in her car and agreeing to see each other again soon. So she goes away for the weekend to see her other sister and I go down to Melbourne for my birthday. I try messaging her over the weekend once or twice but she doesn’t respond. I don’t even get a text on my birthday from her which is the least i was expecting. I get back to town and send her a message to see if she wants to hang out. She says she’s babysitting her sister who is in town for work experience, also, no problem. I say “Hey, that’s ok, doesn’t mean we can’t talk right?”

Then get this message from her:

“Hey, sorry I think you might have got the wrong idea when we met, I just want to be friends, I just thought I’d let you know”

Am I right to be confused? Being ‘just friends’ is certainly not the impression i’ve gotten and I don’t know how to move forward from this. I haven’t had the best luck with women and it’s been 3 years since my last and first girlfriend.

This is the message I sent afterwards which she hasn’t responded to

“Well you can see how i might have got the wrong idea. All I know is that I’ve liked hanging out with you the few times I have, and it felt to me like you did as well. I know jumping into something, whatever that might be can seem daunting but it doesn’t have to be.”

What should I do?

Heartbroken In the Outback

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Wednesday Open Thread: Bad Romance Edition

November 26, 2014 by Dr. NerdLove 112 Comments

It’s Wednesday, which means that it’s time for the weekly open thread, when the NerdLove internists and residents take over the comments section to talk about anything and everything.

This week’s suggested topic: We’ve talked about the advice you can take from films, but it seems that most movies are determined to offer you the worst advice possible. Cracked has helpfully summed up 25 of the worst examples (and one where they’re just plain wrong), but that’s not enough. Let’s talk about some of the worst advice you’ve ever taken from film, movies, comics or even video games.

As always, you know the rules: no hate, no spam, no trolling. Have fun!

Five Reasons Why Your Life Isn’t Going To Get Better

November 24, 2014 by Dr. NerdLove 280 Comments

Normally, when I write my articles, I try to be at least a little encouraging. But unfortunately, there’s really no way to soft-sell today’s topic. So today I’m going to piss you off instead.

I want to get this out of the way up front because, frankly, we’re going to be talking about some cold, harsh truths that are unpleasant to hear, and the instinctual reaction to a lot of harsh truths is to get mad. To say “fuck you, you don’t know me!” But truth is truth and the sooner you accept certain truths, the better your life will be in general. So here it is:

Many people reading this blog aren’t going to get any better at dating.

Sorry.

"Thanks for finally acknowledging your uselessness, Doc..." — “Thanks for finally acknowledging how much you suck, Doc…”

Now yes, I realize I’m opening up myself to “ha ha, you just admitted you suck as a dating coach” responses – but this doesn’t just apply to dating. It applies to any form of self-improvement or chasing any particular dream you may have had. For many people, it’s just never going to happen.

But here’s the reason why: you’re sabotaging yourself. You may not realize it, but more often than not, you are your own worst enemy. You are Edward Norton punching the ever-loving shit out of himself over and over again as your brain disrupts every single attempt to make things better.

"I am Jack's nihilistic streak" — “I am Jack’s nihilistic streak”

But here’s the good news: once you recognize the ways that you’re sabotaging your own self-improvement, you can actually start to fix things.

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Wednesday Open Thread: Tide Pool Edition

November 19, 2014 by Dr. NerdLove 194 Comments

It’s Wednesday, which means it’s time for the weekly open thread in the comments, when the NerdLove Internists get to take over the conversation.

Today’s suggested topic: we all tend to inhabit little literary tidepools – everyone in our group reading and loving the same books, seemingly unaware of the ocean of literature out there. And when we find ourselves in different tide pools of other social groups, suddenly what we think of as commonplace is unheard of. So let’s compare tide-pools. What’s one book that you and your friends love that it feels like nobody else has read or even heard of?

As always, you know the rules. No hate, no trolling, no spam. Have fun!