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Archives for November 2017

Paging Dr. NerdLove Episode #56 – How To Be The Most Interesting Man In The Room

November 30, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 15 Comments

This week, I want to give you one of the most valuable tips I can possibly give. This is that One Simple Trick, that single thing that you can do that will double your online dating success, make you the center of attention at any gathering and ensure that you will be absolutely magnetic. 

It’s very simple.

You want to be interesting.

Interesting people are more charismatic. Interesting people are more memorable. They’re more fun to talk to. And learning to be more interesting is far easier than you might ever realize. 

Show Highlights: 

  • What people get wrong about how to be interesting
  • One simple way of becoming more interesting, immediately
  • The importance of “Yes”
  • Why you should find your stories
  • What interesting people do that boring people don’t

…and so much more.

Related Links:

Develop Your Lifestyle – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/level-up-develop-your-lifestyle/

Become Someone Worth Dating – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/become-someone-worth-dating/

Do You Pass The Grimes Test? – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/pass-grimes-test/

Develop Your Lifestyle – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/level-up-develop-your-lifestyle/

The Most Attractive Aspect of a Man (Isn’t Looks or Money) – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/leveling-up-most-attractive-man/

Listen Here
Download Here


Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Consider becoming a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

5 Rules for Being Friends With Benefits

November 27, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 68 Comments

An eternal truism of love, sex and dating is that no relationship style is one-size-fits all. Not everybody is cut out for a romance that will last the ages!!!! with all the cartoon hearts and animated cherubs that are implied. Some people are cool with being single and doing their own thing without the responsibilities that come with the label of “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” or “partner”.

Sometimes happiness means never fighting over what you’re binging on Netflix.

But at the same time, people frequently do want the physical intimacy and pleasure of at least semi-regular sex. And while many people may enjoy them, one-night stands and one-off Tinder hook-ups aren’t for everyone. After all, sex is almost always better with a regular partner rather than a new rando every time.

This is why, for many people, the happy middle ground is a “friends with benefits” style relationship. For many, FWBs offer the best of both worlds: companionship, the easy intimacy of friends and occasional bed-rocking sex.

Problem is… well, frankly, most people are bad at finding and maintaining FWB relationships. So let’s talk about what it takes to make sure that being friends with benefits doesn’t tilt too far towards neglecting the friendship… or the benefits.

[Read more…]

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Can I Help My Single Bro?

November 24, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 50 Comments

Hey Doc,

I’ve written you a few times and you’ve been kind enough to give me insight, but this time I’m not asking for me, personally, but my brother, who seems to be going through a rough cycle in the dating world, and I’m not sure how I can best, if not help, at least support him.

So, to start with, my brother is probably one of the smartest people I know. He’s an undergrad doing grad work & research at one of Texas’s best universities, and keeps himself well read on a variety of topics outside his specialty. Personality-wise, he has his asshole moments, but is mostly a pretty good guy, and people really seem to love him. If that wasn’t enough, he’s absurdly face-pretty, which, not gonna lie, kinda makes me hate him some days (lol, but that’s another column). So he really has no trouble attracting the attention of both men or women (he’s bi/gay-but-makes-exceptions/doesn’t like labels).

Now, to hear him tell it, he’s not even that invested in the idea of dating anyone. He’s “If it happens, cool, but I got a lot going on otherwise”. And I honestly believe that, or at least believe that he believes that.

This issue is that he pretty regularly does get approached by someone, and they start dating, and he starts to get invested, and open to the idea of moving into something serious, and then they always seem to shoot him a text asking if they can keep it casual, or just be friends.

He’s told me he feels like he starts to bore people after a while, because (while I mentioned he’s well versed in multiple areas), he’s really only passionate about math and one or two other things, and even when the other person is, for instance, someone he met in class, who shares at least that interest, he’ll feel like he doesn’t have anything to contribute elsewhere. To add to it, his time is so full of homework/research work, that even if he had the interest cultivate more “frivolous hobbies” (his words, and he doesn’t really have the interest to do so), he definitely doesn’t have the time.

I’ve told him that right there is probably going to be his biggest problem, and he recognizes that, and admits it’s true, but he falls back on the, “I’m okay not dating anyone” excuse as to why it’s not a priority to change.

Then he still seems frustrated when the cycle happens again. Lately it seems to be getting worse, especially, with two women who were both driven, intelligent, and he could make math jokes with, but still ended up eventually giving him the “not ready for a relationship” line.

To make it more awkward to even talk about this, he’s one of those people who HATES showing vulnerability and that he’s been hurt, so he tends to shut down and just try to act like it doesn’t bother him when this happens instead of actually talking it out. (Just for the records, this isn’t so much a toxic masculinity issue as it is a symptom of childhood abuse, again, a whole other column on that conversation. We’ve both done therapy, both are working on it).

So, after it’s all said and done, I’d really like to know if there’s anything I can do besides let him vent when he works himself up to letting that side of himself open up to me.

Part of me thinks I need to do the tough love thing, and just tell him to stop dating, or stop being boring if he thinks that’s his issue, or to grow up and actually have an argument with the people he dates instead of withdrawing and let it simmer under the surface. Admit he does want to someone in his life, and figure out what he can change to make that happen, especially considering he’s already 85% there just by having his life together so much that people keep seeing him as someone to start dating.

Any thoughts?

Sincerely,
Sympathetic Bro

[Read more…]

Paging Dr. Nerdlove Episode #55 – How To Create A Powerful, Instant Connection With Anyone

November 23, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

How many times have you had a conversation that went something like this: you think you’ve been doing well, but as soon as you’re done talking, that’s it and they’ve basically forgotten you exist. This is a common sticking point for a lot of men. 

Part of what makes one person pleasant but forgettable and the other magnetic is all about that connection, that sense of “we’ve just met but I’ve known you forever”. That feeling of “there’s just something about you that really appeals to me.” These are the sorts of moments that lead people to believe in soulmates.

But here’s the dirty little secret: you can do this deliberately. While yes, this sort of connection can happen by chance, when you understand why we connect with people, you can actually build that connection by choice.

Show Highlights:

  • What is the single biggest mistake people make in trying to connect with people?
  • How to keep the conversation flowing smoothly
  • Why we feel like we’ve known people forever, even though we’ve just met 
  • Why similarity is so important in building a connection

…and so much more

Related Links:

The Subtle Things That Make A Man More Attractive – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/subtle-things-make-men-attractive/

Make The Right First Impression – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/make-right-first-impression/

How To Be Charming – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/how-to-be-charming/

5 Body Language Tricks That Increase Attraction – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/5-body-language-tricks-that-increase-attraction/

5 Ways To Boost Your Charisma – https://www.doctornerdlove.com/5-boost-charisma/

Listen Here
Download Here


Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Consider becoming a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

A Man’s Guide To Being Happy About Being Single

November 20, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 134 Comments

It can be hard to be single at times – especially when the holidays roll around. When the universe seems determined to rub your face in not being in a relationship, it can be difficult not to be jealous of all those happy couples out there. You end up feeling like the last guy picked for kickball, the only dude not to get the invite to the party. When even dudes who don’t seem to have half of what you have to offer are coupling up, it’s understandable to wonder if you’re under an ancient curse.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have run over the old fortune teller’s goldfish…”

It’s entirely understandable that you’re going to feel as though you’re missing out. Paradoxically though, trying to couple up isn’t the answer. In fact, focusing on trying to find a girlfriend will actually make things worse. Like Sisyphus rolling the rock up the hill, you’re going to find yourself miserable and further from your goals than before. And even if you do find a partner, you’ll discover that your loneliness doesn’t magically disappear.

So instead of beating yourself up about your being the Last (Single) Man On Earth, you want to focus on what will make your life infinitely better: you want to learn how to be happy being single.

[Read more…]

Next Page »

About Dr. NerdLove:

Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) is an internationally recognized blogger and dating coach who gives dating advice to geeks of all stripes. Making nerds sexier since 20011

Remember: Dr. NerdLove is not really a doctor. [Read More …]

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Recent Comments

  • Will S. Oh my Transient Friend, I've been there, twice in a row with workmates - it was like reading a part of my own life story! My best advice would be just stop messaging her and move on immedialtey. If...

    I Was A Nice Guy And It Backfired. How Do I Win My Friend Back? ·  June 26, 2022

  • Belinda I had a f**k buddy situation in college for six months and I was completely infatuated with the guy. I wanted some much more for him, which he was well aware of. He did ask me to hang out, which I did...

    My Boyfriend’s Kink Turns Me Off. What Do I Do? ·  June 26, 2022

  • fuzzilla On the one hand, it might have kept me stuck and not fully open to dating someone else (and I did date other people, but maybe I wasn’t as “all in” as I could have been). On the other hand, it...

    My Boyfriend’s Kink Turns Me Off. What Do I Do? ·  June 26, 2022

  • Belinda It was an eye-opening experience. One I kind of wish I didn't have. I mean, a good number of these guys were my buddies. They were flirtatious with me and I of course assumed there were other women...

    I Was A Nice Guy And It Backfired. How Do I Win My Friend Back? ·  June 26, 2022

  • Belinda "To wait for the guy to volunteer more before giving him the world." Or don't treat him like your boyfriend unless he's your boyfriend. Idk. I am not a fan of FWBs. Hooking up a couple of times, fine....

    My Boyfriend’s Kink Turns Me Off. What Do I Do? ·  June 26, 2022

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