Archives for June 2018

Post Mortem – Textual Harassment

June 29, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

On occasion, I’ll get a request for advice on a situation that’s more layered and complex than a typical Ask Dr. NerdLove question. These questions typically need a deeper dive into just what went wrong, a sort of exploratory emotional surgury – a dating Post-Mortem if you will. On other occasions, the circumstances require more than just surgery. Sometimes it requires a session with The Chair Leg of Truth.

Listen to the Chair Leg of Truth. It does not lie.

So come up to the lab and see what’s on the slab. It’s time to put on the scrubs and dig into this particular corpse.

[Read more…]

Episode #82: 5 Secrets to Getting Women To Approach You

June 28, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Don’t forget to pre-order my new book I Got Her Number. Now What? A Geek’s Guide To Texting, Snapchatting and Sliding into DMs, coming July 24, 2018

Lots of guys get anxious about approaching women that they’re attracted to. But what if there were a way to change that. Ever wished you were one of those men who had women coming up to them?

You can be… if you understand why women are willing to approach some men and not others. If you understand the secrets to why women do and don’t make the first move, you can learn to be the guy that women notice… and they’ll be eager to introduce themselves to you.

Show Highlights:

Why women don’t make the first move… and what you can do about it
How most men make it impossible for women to approach them
What you can do to make sure you stand out and be the man that women want to approach
The secret signal that you can use to get women to come talk to you
The number one mistake men make that makes women decide to talk to someone else

… and so much more.

Related Links:

Fix Your Flirting

The Subtle Things Men Do That Make Them More Attractive

Discover Your Style

5 Ways To Look Better (Without Going Broke)

5 Signs Women Want You To Talk To Them

Listen Here
Download Here

Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Why Do Women Ignore Him on Dating Apps?

June 25, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Doctor’s Note: today’s column involves some generalized discussion of sexual assault.

Hey Doc,

I’ve put together a profile that represents me well and that women seem to like. I get matches and messages from people who seem really cool. The problem is, I can’t sustain a conversation. I get two or three exchanges, maybe half a dozen, and they just vanish. It’s pretty clear to me that I have no idea what people want to hear.

I promise I’m not being creepy. I’m probably just being boring. I think I’m asking pretty reasonable ‘get to know you’ questions. “Are you from here? What do you think of this town?” “I’m excited about this plan I have, what are you up to?” “You like this genre of music. Do you know this artist? You’re in for a treat. (or You do? You’re cool!)”

I try to express an interest in their lives, while showing that I also have an interesting life. It’s not working, and I really don’t have any idea why. I don’t even enjoy getting a match anymore, as I know how exactly what is going to happen. I’ve been at this all year and only had one date out of at least 30 matches.

I know teasing is an important part of flirting. But I can’t do it. I’m way too genuine. I don’t even shit talk my closest friends, and I don’t know why I’d want to. One woman I dated suddenly exclaimed “Oh! You don’t know when I’m bullshitting you!” and vanished shortly after. Is this my problem? Do people want to hear bullshit from a stranger they want to like?

I’m pretty well stuck, and it’s taking it’s toll on my confidence. How can I learn to do this better? Are there transcripts of conversations I could study?

Bumble Fumble

[Read more…]

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Get My Confidence Back?

June 22, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Hi Dr. NerdLove,

You’ve mentioned you once lost a relationship with someone you thought was the perfect match and the love of you life. This just happened to me, and it is absolutely soul-crushing. On the one hand, it’s reassuring to know it happens and people can come out on the other side. And I know about the things I should be doing right now, like taking care of myself and trying to focus on things I enjoy and healing.

But it’s been a month and a half and while I am doing a little better than a month ago when I was an absolute wreck, it still hurts badly and constantly. I am still angry and confused and hurt and heartbroken and it is so hard to move on with my life and let it go. These things take time, but is there any way to not feel so broken in the meantime? I’m glad I cared about something so much and was vulnerable, but the pain is sometimes unbearable. And now not only do I have some trust issues due to some of the things she said to me that turned out to not be true, but I’ve lost all my confidence. I know I have a lot to offer, but my dating experience has not been a fruitful one and it really sucks to feel unwanted and undesirable.

How do I get my confidence back? How can I find the REAL love of my life without this forever hanging over my head and my heart? Please help.

Dumped, Dejected and Dismayed

[Read more…]

Episode #81 – The Texting Mistakes That Cost You Dates

June 21, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

How often has this happened to you: you’ve got a woman’s number, but you never seem to be able to actually get a date. You may be doing great at first, but then you notice that it’s taking longer and longer for her to reply and those replies are getting shorter and shorter until you get… nothing. And now you’re left wondering just what happened… and why it keeps happening to you.

Texting may have been a godsend to shy, awkward guys who want to get dates, but you still have to know how to do it right. You may be used to talking with your thumbs like God intended, but that doesn’t mean that your texting game is all it should be. In fact, if you’re regularly getting radio silence or have a hard time turning numbers into dates, then you’re probably making one of these common texting mistakes.

Show Highlights:

How texting changed the dating game… and how it made things harder
Why so many men get ghosted after they get her number
The mistake men make when trying to build attraction over text
How even the most well-meaning men can end up ruining women’s interest in them through one wrong text
The number one mistake men make that costs them dates

…and so much more

Don’t forget to pre-order my new book I Got Her Number. Now What? A Geek’s Guide To Texting, Snapchatting and Sliding into DMs, coming July 24, 2018

Related Links:

Find Your Flirting Style

How to Use Humor In Your Flirting

How To Avoid Getting “The Fade”

The Mistake Men Make That Cost Them Dates

Listen Here
Download Here

Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books