Recently, I’ve be doing a lot of self reflection and realized one big issue I deal with is loneliness. However, another thing I’ve come to question is my use of porn and my consumption of porn, especially my use of hard-core material. I’ve come to realise I feel unable to consume “regular” or just softcore porn as it can be called. One of the issues is that when I do, it makes me feel lonely it feels like I can’t watch it because I guess with anything a bit more “hardcore” there is some sort of disassociation from it.
I wouldn’t say I have a huge issue with porn; sometimes I can consume too much but when I go days or weeks without it and eventually relapse. I’m still unable to watch something less hardcore because my loneliness can at times feel crippling. I want to view less porn in general or at least things that are not as hardcore and unrealistic as I do enjoy softcore but feel unable to consume any form of it.
I think the issue is made worse by the fact I’m a 28 year old virgin, and watching things where it’s a bit more passionate and loving etc makes me feel like I’m missing out or have missed out, and always will so I chose to watch something more hard-core that I can do what’s needed and leave behind without feeling “I missed out on that and would love to have it”. Maybe I’m rationalising my consumption of porn and more hardcore versions of it; I’ve just come to realise where my loneliness can lead me and how it can effect my behaviour .
Any advice on how to deal with my consumption of more hardcore material while trying to deal with loneliness and navigating dating and my virginity at a older age.
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