Dear Dr. Nerd Love:
I have been friends a Nerd guy for almost 2 years now. I have been out with him in groups and we have had some conversation on Facebook and email. Early on in our acquaintance he actually met me once for coffee. When I tried for a second round, he blew me off with a strange excuse about how it would “look” if we were alone together in public. :/ Anyway About 5 months ago I came right out and told him that I liked him. He said he admires my “candor” and said that “I am a braver person than he was because even if he felt that the same way he would not admit it. [because] his “baggage ( I am assuming he is referring to his weight) and history prevent him from doing so.” He said he would like to “grow” our friendship, but would understand if I did not, but he hoped that that would not be the case. I played it cool and told him I would like to stay friends. But now things feel different. A mutual friend told me that when he likes someone, he wants to observe them for like 5 YEARS! And that if he likes someone he will likely pull away instead of getting closer.
I think I already know I should give up on him, but I really like him, A LOT. He is so intelligent and funny. I love to be around him. He doesn’t seem to be shy or weird at all. Some of our mutual friends have asked me if he is interested in me or if we are dating, because they say he treats me “different’ than other women. What gives?! Is this something I should wait on, should I approach him again? I should add that I have almost no dating experience of my own. I am rather attractive for a 40+ single mom of 2. He is VERY attractive to me, but most women say they do not get my feelings for him aside from his “personality”. (but I like a guy with meat on his bones ;)) So tell me, is there any hope here or should I pull the plug and move on.