Dear Dr. Nerdlove,
A few months ago, I dated this girl named Katherine. She she was a fantastic person, and she made me smile everyday… that is, until she dumped me a month later. She still wanted to be friends, and so did I. Unfortunately, I quickly learned that that wasn’t the smartest option. It was very hard being her friend when I knew that she had no feelings for me. I didn’t know what to do about it, so I just let it be. This went on for several weeks before I listened to your Dr. Nerdlove Segment on the LEOG. In it, you suggested that people in my situation “burn it to the ground (i.e. get rid of them on Facebook, address book, etc.)”. After a few weeks of feeling like shit, I finally decided that I’d had enough. I whipped out my phone, logged on to Facebook, yelled “VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!”, and deleted everything. I wasn’t sure how this would turn out, but after a few weeks, I noticed that it helped quite a bit. I was thinking about her less, which made my days feel much less morose. Life was good.
Now here’s where things get a bit tricky: about a week ago, she sent me a Facebook message asking why I deleted her from Facebook. I decided to be honest with her and wrote a long message saying that we couldn’t be friends because I was still in the process of getting over her. She still hasn’t responded, so I assume she got the message. The first part of my question is this: did I do the right thing by breaking off contact with her and was it smart to be honest with her?
Now, here’s the second part of my question. Tomorrow, I’ll be going to the park with some friends for a scheduled game of Ultimate Frisbee. I checked the Facebook event and Katherine is currently listed as “Maybe Attending”. This wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t send that message explaining my current situation. Now I’m worried that things will be a bit awkward tomorrow. How do I talk to her after sending that long message?
One last thing; if after all of this, she shows signs of interest again, should I go for it, or turn her away in order to complete my spiritual healing? This is a bit of a corny question, but I thought it was worth asking nonetheless.