I’ve only just discovered your column and I really hope you might provide some advice on this – I’m honestly not sure how to work my way through it.
We’ve been together for four years. As far as I can tell, we’re very happy and our sex life is healthy and satisfying. I honestly don’t care that he watches porn, I do too after all! And people have a right to their kinks as long as no-one’s getting hurt and it’s not illegal. But this seems like such a specific kink that it makes me wonder if I’m… failing him somehow? I have no complaints about his size whatsoever, but my height and build mean I’ll also never be a little elfin slip of a girl next to him. Does him having this particular kink mean something? Am I destined to never be quite what turns him on? How do I deal with that? Or am I just overthinking things?
I know I should probably talk this through with him directly, but how do you even bring something like this up without it sounding accusatory? I’d be really grateful for your perspective.
Thanks for your help,
Confused And Probably Overthinking