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Live Like You Give A Damn – The Lessons of Anthony Bourdain

June 11, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Like a lot of people, I have some complicated feelings about the death of Anthony Bourdain. As a general rule, I don’t usually have much to say about celebrity deaths other than “Man, that sucks.” But a few, a precious few, manage to hit me like a hammer to the chest. Those are the ones that feel too close to home, the ones who had serious meaning for me. Sometimes it’s because they were someone whose work had a major impact on my life. Other times, it’s because I can relate far too closely to the pain that brought them to the end. Robin Williams hit both of those for me. So, surprisingly, did Bourdain.

Now there’s a lot of talk about in the wake of his death. Many people, myself included, have had a lot to say about living with depression. There are some great resources for getting help if you have mental health issues or how to help someone you love who’s dealing with mental illness in real and material ways. And there are plenty of people arguing about suicide and how to process it all.

And then there’s this asshole.

But, honestly? I’m getting incredibly tired of talking about death and eulogizing all of the people we’ve lost recently. Because while we should eulogize and mourn and grieve for those we’ve lost, I feel like a fitting monument – especially to larger than life figures like Bourdain – is to learn how to live. Taking inspiration from them and living a better life because of their example is, to my mind, the best tribute one could pay to the ones we’ve lost.

And while you could say many things about Anthony Bourdain, everyone can agree that the man lived – deliberately, passionately and incredibly.

So while we may have lost a larger-than-life figure, we can all learn to live our own lives in a way that Bourdain would’ve admired.

Here’s how you live like you give a damn.

[Read more…]

A Man’s Guide To Being Happy About Being Single

November 20, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 134 Comments

It can be hard to be single at times – especially when the holidays roll around. When the universe seems determined to rub your face in not being in a relationship, it can be difficult not to be jealous of all those happy couples out there. You end up feeling like the last guy picked for kickball, the only dude not to get the invite to the party. When even dudes who don’t seem to have half of what you have to offer are coupling up, it’s understandable to wonder if you’re under an ancient curse.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have run over the old fortune teller’s goldfish…”

It’s entirely understandable that you’re going to feel as though you’re missing out. Paradoxically though, trying to couple up isn’t the answer. In fact, focusing on trying to find a girlfriend will actually make things worse. Like Sisyphus rolling the rock up the hill, you’re going to find yourself miserable and further from your goals than before. And even if you do find a partner, you’ll discover that your loneliness doesn’t magically disappear.

So instead of beating yourself up about your being the Last (Single) Man On Earth, you want to focus on what will make your life infinitely better: you want to learn how to be happy being single.

[Read more…]

Meet Women Effortlessly

April 24, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 197 Comments

How often do you wish that you could meet women without having to work at it? What about if new and amazing women would just be a part of your life, with barely any effort on your part? Odds are you’d be pretty down with that idea, wouldn’t you? After all, one of the hardest parts of meeting women is, simply, doing so in a way that feels authentic to who you are. Not everybody is going to feel comfortable going to bars or clubs after all. Many may have a hard time just approaching strangers. Cold approaches are a valuable skill to learn – and one I highly recommend – but they’re not the only way or even the best way to meet women. Even online dating, for all of its convenience, can be difficult for people.

“YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME FOR THE LAST TIME, TINDER!”

But it is possible to meet women in a way that feels authentic and utterly effortless. With a little preparation on your part, you can live a life that will bring amazing women into your orbit in a way that is as natural as breathing.

Ready to get started?

[Read more…]

Find Your Community

March 27, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 294 Comments

I have a question for you: where is your community? Where do you find your crowd, your squad, your team? Who do you look to to feel part of something greater than yourself? Who do you have in your life who lifts you up when you’re down? Where do you feel the most connected to others?

And Reddit doesn’t count.

Odds are… you don’t actually have much of a community. In fact, odds are good that you may have noticed the people you are close to are dwindling rapidly.

In fact: since the 80s, we have been increasingly disconnected from the world around us. Many people have no close friends at all.

It’s ironic that, at a time when we are more connected than ever, we are also more isolated than ever before. Despite the almost infinite number of ways to reach out to others, we are lonelier that we’ve ever been. We need more than just ways to stay in contact with people; we need to connect with them. Humans are social animals. We have a need to belong. We need a community, and most of us are drifting through life alone.

So how do you find your community?

[Read more…]

Level Up: Getting Fit (for The First Time)

February 20, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 128 Comments

Whenever guys talk about being more attractive, they talk a lot about getting fit as though it were the keys to the kingdom. Get fit, get those six-pack abs, those striated muscles that look like shredded wheat and women will beat a path to your pants. And to be sure: one of the key parts of becoming someone worth dating is taking care of yourself. Taking care of your physical fitness is an incredibly important part of that self-care.

Then again, there’s my favorite form of fitness…

But more often than not, guys go about it the wrong way. They sign up for gym memberships at the start of the new year, go for three weeks and then never show up again. They hit their new diet – low carb, paleo, what-have-you – with the passion of the newly converted and then bow out when that first extinction burst hits. If you want to get fit, you have to do it the right way.

Now, I want to be clear: I’m not going to talk about specific exercise routines or diets you should follow. The key to getting fit isn’t about the magic workout that’ll give you abs with minimal effort or a diet that will melt the pounds away in days instead of months. I want to talk about how to go about getting fit in ways that not only you can stick to, but that will actually get you the results you want.

So if you’re ready to start a real physical transformation, read on.

[Read more…]

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About Dr. NerdLove:

Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) is an internationally recognized blogger and dating coach who gives dating advice to geeks of all stripes. Making nerds sexier since 20011

Remember: Dr. NerdLove is not really a doctor. [Read More …]

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