Last year was a year of a lot of changes and some heavy losses. It was the sort of year that makes you take a long hard look at your life and decide to make some changes. Like a soldier in the trenches of Verdun, you find yourself thinking of all the things you’re going to do when you’re out of this mess. Sometimes those changes mean pulling the trigger on things you’ve always meant to do but kept putting off: watching all those movies you “need” to see, actually follow through on those projects you’re going to “get around to” and so on.
Other times… you look at your life and realize that you need to make even bigger changes. As soon as you’ve got your shots and the world starts opening up again, you’re going to change everything. You’re not going to throw away this shot to finally, finally build the life you’ve always wanted. And then once that opportunity came… well, nothing changed.
You’re stuck in the same rut you were in before, and you can’t get out. And to make matters worse: you know you’re not happy, but you can’t seem to break that cycle. As soon as you had the chance, you fell right back to those old patterns and habits that were making you miserable. How do you finally have the life that you want?
Well, you build a new one!
As dramatic as that sound, the changes you make aren’t. The goal isn’t to toss everything out and start over, but to understand why you’re making the same choices and running through the same routines. As I teach my students: the key isn’t to change your personality or try to be someone you’re not. You want to break the old routines and disrupt the patterns that are keeping you stuck in place.