Modern dating has a number of benefits. Changing social mores mean that sex and dating are less complicated and more accessible than at any point in history. The advent of the Internet and the subsequent development of smartphones mean that finding people you’re interested in is easier than ever. Even simply wanting to get laid has become easier with apps like Tinder making finding someone who’s explicitly down to fuck a literal push-button exercise.

But while accessibility and availability may be easier… the process of actually getting sex can feel more complicated than ever. If you’re an even half-way decent guy, it can feel like wanting sex or trying to get it makes you awful by definition. After all, most of the modern examples of men trying to get laid tend to revolve around toxic environments and behaviors. Pop culture is rife with characters – including protagonists – who will cheerfully resort to any amount of shitty behavior in order to get laid.  Even in real life, we only have to look to pick-up artists and their misogynistically frustrated evolved form, the Red Pill,1 selling social pressure and psychological trickery as the means to the end.

At the same time, we can go on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook and see women sharing stories about men who used unpleasant or even threatening actions in an attempt to get into their pants.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting sex, with wanting a casual relationship without commitment or wanting to have multiple partners. The key to getting more sex isn’t about secret techniques or trying to convince, trick or compel women into sleeping with you. Sex isn’t an antagonistic exercise of trying to bargain down the “price”, it’s in understanding how to connect with people. If you want to learn about getting laid without losing your soul in the process, you have to understand the mindset of a true seducer.

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1. Worst. Pokemon. Ever. [↩]