Dear Dr. NerdLove:
So I was wondering how does an ugly guy navigate things like wanting casual sex or a friends with benefits kind of arrangement? A lot of these interactions tend to prioritize looks, but what if you don’t have the looks? I don’t know any examples of ugly guys getting anything casual, it seems like one of those things where if you don’t have the looks, then you’re kind of out of luck.
I am trying to lose weight and gain muscle, but you can’t exactly change your face as much as you can your body. What if, even after that, I’m still unattractive? How would I communicate and vocalize wanting something more casual or a friend with benefits arrangement without it being creepy? How would someone like me be able to find someone who wants me sexually when there are probably more handsome men out there who also want the same thing. There are probably more men who want something casual than women, so wouldn’t that make it even more likely that ugly guys won’t be able to have something casual if there is a better looking guy willing to provide the same thing?
It feels like women would rather only have me if I commit rather than be casual with me when there are possibly better looking men wanting the same thing? Same for women who are “in my league” so to speak.
You can’t exactly “fuck” a personality as they say.
Also in general, it looks like it’s mostly guys who have trouble getting laid, so wouldn’t that also lend credence to the fact that maybe there are some guys out there too ugly to be wanted sexually?
It just feels like I won’t be able to experience casual sex or FWBs and will only be able to sleep with women if I commit to them or if I hire a sex worker. I don’t wanna lead women on or lie to them, but I also don’t wanna sleep with someone who’d only sleep with me cause they need the money.
Thing From Another World