What Not To Do Archives - Paging Dr. NerdLove

How Do I Know When I’ve Been A Creeper?

March 16, 2020 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Dear Doc,

I am really new in the world of relationships. I had a problem during these days because some friends believed that my conduct to a lady was inappropriate.

One month ago I saw the WhatsApp story of a lovely girl, who put two pictures on it. The first one was a rock band, and the second one was had the label “Let’s make love”. I am really attracted to her, so I thought that the moment was appropriate to tell her to have sex with me. After talking to her for a while, I decided to tell her my intentions. So, I said to her “lets have sex”. Unfortunately, my proposal was taken as an offense, and she blocked me from WhatsApp.

Two days ago I found her on Instagram, and I decided to apologize to her, but also to ask her if she had decided to have sex with me or not. I think I am a reasonably open minded person. I was blocked again.

This Friday a friend called me, and he said to me that I was harassing her. I think my intentions were misunderstood because I asked her both times if she agrees or disagrees. I was going to accept her response if she said no because I believe that her body is hers, and she has the final decision on whether she wants to make it out with a person or not.

Do you think that my attitude was inappropriate at all?

Best

Unsure And Unready

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Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Talk To My Girlfriend About Her Weight?

August 2, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Hey Doc,

I’m dealing with an issue with my partner that I’m not sure how to handle. I’m a 32 year old straight male who has recently come off a long single streak. I’m settling into a new relationship with younger woman which is going swimmingly with one glaring issue. My partner in the past year lost a good deal of weight, to the tune of over 70 lbs. At the moment I’d say she is still 10-20lbs short of a truly attractive and healthy weight. When I got into our relationship I took this as a sign of someone who had decided to turn their life around and get healthy, something I can really respect. As our relationship has progressed however I have realized that she has decided that her current weight is perfect and ideal. This may have something to do with her friends and family who seem to delight in teasing her for being “so small”. I’m trying to figure out how to deal with this on several levels.

On a superficial level I just would love to see the woman I love looking as good as possible. More importantly however I have a personal hangup with false body positivity. I don’t mind people being overweight however I have a very hard time with people who glorify fat as “curvy” or simply deny the state of their bodies. I am a reasonably attractive individual but far from perfect and I constantly work to improve how I look and I’m very open about my continuing commitment to health. In contrast my partner seems to reflect the image of being tiny that her friends and family tease her about back without consideration of her actual weight. This is what I have the most trouble with as whenever she makes a comment glorifying something about her weight and how tiny she is I know I freeze up as it really rubs me the wrong way.

I’m aware that this is a personal issue with me, not necessarily her, but it is something that I know I need to deal with in order for us to continue to have a long term relationship. On the flip side however I’m unsure how to have the conversation in a way that doesn’t come off as “hey, I think you’re fat”.

Would love any suggestions you may have as to how I can deal with this!

Not Looking For A Little Extra

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Understanding the Hot/Creepy Matrix (Or: The Hot Celebrity Exception)

May 27, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Everyone has their guilty pleasures: things that they do that they would probably refuse to admit to in public. I mean, I don’t, but that’s mostly because I had my sense of guilt surgically removed in 2006, but, y’know. Everyone else does.

And that’s between you and your Google history, chief

One of the closest things I have to a guilty pleasure is the relationships.txt twitter feed. Having the best – or at least, most what-and-I-can’t-stress-this-enough-the-FUCK – parts of Reddit delivered to my Twitter timeline on a regular basis gives me my daily dose of both rage and reassurance that I will never be out of work. Plus on occasion, there’s a story that serves as a prime example of some of the things I warn people about.

And then there’re stories that in and of themselves are interesting… but it’s the reactions they provoke that are more interesting.

Such is the case of the Jailbait Birthday Creeper.

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Episode #111 – This Is Why Women Won’t Date You (And How To Fix it)

April 10, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Young men are having less sex than ever. But what’s more important is how you respond to that information. Here’s what’s ruining your chances with women.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS:

▶︎ How “why are men having less sex” is the wrong question

▶︎ The #1 reason why men ruin their chances with women

▶︎ How your attitude affects your love life

▶︎ The problem with “women are too picky”

▶︎ What a toxic waste monster can teach you about attraction

RELATED LINKS:

▶︎ This Is Why You Fail With Women

▶︎ The Trouble With Incels

▶︎ Which Matters More, Looks Or Personality?

▶︎ A Man’s Guide To Being Happy About Being Single

▶︎ Become Someone Worth Dating

Listen Here
Download Here
Transcripts available at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

Post Mortem – Textual Harassment

June 29, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

On occasion, I’ll get a request for advice on a situation that’s more layered and complex than a typical Ask Dr. NerdLove question. These questions typically need a deeper dive into just what went wrong, a sort of exploratory emotional surgury – a dating Post-Mortem if you will. On other occasions, the circumstances require more than just surgery. Sometimes it requires a session with The Chair Leg of Truth.