• Archives
  • Contact Me
  • The Secret Origin of Dr. NerdLove
  • Dr. NerdLove Store
  • Dr. NerdLove’s Affiliate Store

Paging Dr. NerdLove

Love, Sex and Dating For The Modern Nerd

Search The Archives

  • Books
  • Podcasts
  • The Grimes Test
  • Ask Dr. NerdLove
  • The Basics
  • Private Coaching
  • Contact Me

Men’s Common Fashion Mistakes

August 17, 2011 by Dr. NerdLove 13 Comments

“Clothes make the man; naked have little or no influence on society. ”
– Mark Twain

I’ll be the first to admit it: once I started wearing clothes that properly, I made a classic nerd mistake: I started to over-correct in the other direction. I started getting a little style obsessed. I started dumping a lot more money into clothes. I tossed out half my closet, raided the mall like a Viking and did a lot of experimenting with my look. And to be perfectly honest, I made some mistakes. Like, bad ones. Things for which I’m grateful that Myspace is dying, since there are untagged photos out there that I wouldn’t mind disappearing from the net.

We won’t get into any specifics (*koffkoffSalvagekoffkoff*) but… let’s just say that it was a long and somewhat pricey learning experience as I fine tuned my look and my sense of style.

Fortunately for you, you get the benefit of learning from my mistakes without having actually bought an Affliction knock-off in the first place. I suffer so that you may benefit. Because I am like Nerd Jesus only better because I didn’t mouth off and get nailed to an Empire Strikes Back standee.

So let’s get started with these common fashion mistakes that men make.

Dressing Like Someone You Aren’t.

Your clothes are an outward expression of who you are as a person; they serve as a visual short hand of the type of person you are, the social niche you fit into.

You know.

Your stereotype.

Yes. Your stereotype. It’s an ugly word and conjures up all sorts of racial issues, but at it’s base, it’s the popular belief about a group of individuals… and these beliefs can work for you as well as against you.

The fact of the matter is, we are programmed by our culture to associate certain styles of clothing with different types of people. When I say “Punk”, you get one mental image. When I say “Surfer”, you get another. When I say “Movie Star”… well you get my point. We have these images of attractive stereotypes, and it’s natural to style yourself after them in hopes of attracting the people who are into those particular types.

The problem, of course, is incongruity. Trying to dress as a type that you simply don’t fit into, whether it’s your physical shape or your personality will only serve to make you stand out. And not in a good way. Being incongruous with who you really are will only serve to make you seem weird and make people subtly uncomfortable. Dressing like a rockstar in skinny jeans and leather when you’re a conservative business-type at heart works about as well as dressing a Hells Angel in Sean Comb’s suits.

Outlaw MC by day, CEO by night.

You need to be honest with yourself about who you are; if you’re a hip-hop guy, dress like a hip-hop guy. Don’t try to force yourself into a stereotype that doesn’t match your real self. The easiest way to figure out your stereotype and how to make it work for you is to look to celebrities and characters from TV and movies. A little on the conservative side? Try looking at Neil Patrick Harris in “How I Met Your Mother”. Do you have a more of a Broseph in you than you’d like to admit to? Study Chris Evans or Ryan Reynolds. More traditionally nerdy? Joseph-Gordon Levitt or Andre 3000 both have made geek-chic work.

There aren’t any stereotypes out there that can’t be made attractive.

Well… except hipsters.

Don’t be a hipster.

Clothes That Don’t Fit

I’ve covered this before, but it bears repeating: your clothes need to fit you. Most guys out there are wearing clothes that are too large. Whether it’s from a misguided attempt to hide a less-than-perfect body or just sheer ignorance, men are almost swimming in their own suits. Shirts should touch your body without being binding. Jeans should be snug enough to sit at your hips with out falling down past your ass and the legs should be roomy enough for comfort without making you look like the bottom half of a Saturn V rocket. Sweaters shouldn’t be those bulky oversized monstrosities well-meaning family members gave you every Christmas.

Whether you’re overweight or underweight, oversized clothes aren’t going to disguise your issues the way you think they will. Properly fitting clothes will make you look far more attractive, even when you don’t meet society’s ideals of a perfect body.

This isn’t to say that going in the other direction is any better. Too tight clothes just give the impression that you’re in denial about your body and that you honestly believe that those too-tight pants are really disguising your gut. Unless of course, you have that sort of perfect body that’s been sculpted by hours in the gym, strict low-carb, high protein diets and amino acid supplements.  Then those too-tight shirts that cut into your rock-like biceps and highlight every dip in your abs sends a completely different message.

It says “I escaped from the Jersey Shore.” And that’s really not a message you want to be sending. To anyone. Ever.

Mixing and Matching

When you’re exploring various styles and looks, it can be tempting to try blending them together. It’s the sort of thing that you see guys do when they’re trying to emulate looks that they see in magazines; they can’t quite decide which one they like best, so they run with them all. Polo shirt, tight jeans, wrist cuff and big chunky rings? Sure!  Why not! Pinstripe suit, spiked hair, beat-to-shit Chuck Taylors and a giant belt-buckle? Sounds good to me!

You think you’re being fashion forward. You think you’re being stylish.

You’re looking like an idiot who got dressed in the dark with whatever came close at hand.

Your style says a lot about who you are. The last thing you need to do is send the message that you have no idea what you’re doing. You aren’t necessarily locked into one single look, but you do want to keep those looks separate from one another.

“Hippy Punk, yo.”

Label Whoring

Once you start down the path of becoming more interested in style and fashion, it’s only natural to want to start looking at higher-end clothes than you’ve been used to. Maybe you started out getting all your clothes from Costco, but now you’re a Nordstrom’s man. You’re moving up in the world! You’ve gone from generic jeans to True Religions! OBEY tees! Diesel hats and watches! You’re no longer the schlub you used to be, you’re clearly a man of style and taste!

And what better way to show off that style than to make sure the world can tell who you’re wearing… by plastering their logos it all over yourself. Why, those giant reflective decorations on the ass of your jeans are just the fashion equivalent of the tail of an especially stylish peacock, displaying his natural superiority for all the world to see and tremble before it’s majesty. Surely women will flock to you now like mice to cheese while men will watch you in envy as they weep bitter tears, knowing they can never match your glory.

Of course, in reality, all you’ve managed to do is turn yourself into a walking billboard for someone else as well as looking like a jack-ass.  And you’re paying for the privilege of doing so.

Congratulations. You’re a label whore. And a bad one. I mean, at least whores get paid.

It’s all well and good to love a particular label, but when you’re covering yourself head to toe with their logos, you’re sending a very distinct message. And that message is “I am profoundly insecure and want everybody to know that I’m trying to hide it.”

Over-Accessorizing

Nikki Sixx. Johnny Depp. Dave Navarro. Keith Richards. What do these men all have in common?

If you said “They convinced their sister to let them borrow their eye-liner at too young of an age”, you’re only mostly correct. The real answer is: accessories. Big chunky rings. Piercings. Enough necklaces to make Mr. T concerned about the strain it’s putting on their backs and more bracelets than a thirteen year old girl running amuck during a sale at Claire’s.

They can pull these looks off, mostly by virtue of being incredibly good looking and famous. Most of you can’t. Especially if you already know you can’t pull off the Rocker look. If you’re not heroin-chic thin and haven’t done blow off a hooker’s ass, you shouldn’t even try. My advice? Keep it to a minimum. Ring. Watch. Done.

The more you look like Johnny Depp, the more you can pull off. 

Ed Hardy, Tap Out, Affliction, Von Dutch, Etc.

Don’t. Just… don’t.

This is how nature says “Do Not Touch”.

 

Related Posts

  • Wednesday Open Thread: A Very Swayze Christmas EditionWednesday Open Thread: A Very Swayze Christmas Edition
  • The Virgin’s Guide To Great SexThe Virgin’s Guide To Great Sex
  • These 5 Conversations Will Save Your RelationshipThese 5 Conversations Will Save Your Relationship
  • How Do I Date (Safely) During COVID?How Do I Date (Safely) During COVID?
  • Ask Dr. NerdLove: Why Can’t I Get Off?Ask Dr. NerdLove: Why Can’t I Get Off?
  • Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Can I Just Be Myself?Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Can I Just Be Myself?

Share14
Tweet
Pin1
15 Shares

Enjoy my work? Want to help support the site? Consider becoming a patron!



If you want dating advice you can take on the go, be sure to check out and if you enjoy them, please don't forget to give a review on Amazon and Goodreads.

And thanks, I can't do it without you.

Our Sponsors

About Dr. NerdLove:

Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) is an internationally recognized blogger and dating coach who gives dating advice to geeks of all stripes. Making nerds sexier since 20011

Remember: Dr. NerdLove is not really a doctor. [Read More …]

Connect With Dr. NerdLove

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Categories

Like Us On Facebook

Facebook Pagelike Widget

Become a Dr. NerdLove Patron

Virtual Tip Jar

private coaching is available at doctornerdlove.com/private-coaching

Out Now!

My new dating guide, New Game + is available at Amazon.com , iTunes and everywhere books are sold.

Recent Comments

  • rullerofallmarmalade These are a lot of words to say “wow I should probably go therapy because my distorted view of the world is making me bitter and resentful. I wonder if there’s a whole field of therapy dedicated...

    How Do I Get Over My Fear of Being Rejected? ·  January 24, 2021

  • rullerofallmarmalade Something I have been working on a lot over the last year is feelings are just feelings and you can let them go. The last time I spoke to my mom face to face she said I was an “unlovable poser pig...

    How Do I Get Over My Fear of Being Rejected? ·  January 24, 2021

  • Wims When women I know have been asked the question about hiring a SW, a lot of them responded that they didn't want to be with someone who didn't specifically want to be with them. Being treated like a...

    How Do I Get Over My Fear of Being Rejected? ·  January 24, 2021

  • rullerofallmarmalade The reasons why there’s a lot less of a market of women hiring male sex workers is: because sex workers are expensive and for a long time women were denied high paying jobs, because women are told...

    How Do I Get Over My Fear of Being Rejected? ·  January 24, 2021

  • rullerofallmarmalade That’s right the M E N are disposable. We just use them for their sperm and then B I T E THEIR HEADS OFF after we finish. Except the heads of the male SW because they do not exist and that’s the...

    How Do I Get Over My Fear of Being Rejected? ·  January 24, 2021

Popular Posts

What Couples Can Learn From Gomez and Morticia AddamsWhat Couples Can Learn From Gomez and Morticia Addams
Socially Awkward Isn’t An ExcuseSocially Awkward Isn’t An Excuse
Nerds and Male PrivilegeNerds and Male Privilege
On Labeling Women “Crazy”On Labeling Women “Crazy”
When Masculinity Fails MenWhen Masculinity Fails Men

Archives

Tags

abusive relationships ask dr. nerdlove attitude attraction be a better man be a better person boundaries break up cheating communication confidence dating Don't Be A Creeper emotional abuse emotional health emotional intelligence flirting level up lifestyle masculinity Meeting Women mental health oneitis online dating podcast podcasts rejection relationship maintenance relationships self-esteem self-improvement self-limiting beliefs sex sexual compatibility sexuality skills social skills talking to women the friend zone toxic masculinity toxic relationships use your words virginity what not to do youtube