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Frequently Asked Questions

Ask away. I’ll be adding to my FAQ as we go.

  • Why don’t you answer my question? 
    • Due to the high volume of questions I receive, it’s simply not possible to respond to everyone, as much as I wish I could. Questions that I’m able to publish on ADNL, or questions that request not to be published but are submitted through [name of paid pm service here] will receive priority. Regular submissions that request to remain private may not receive a response.
  • Where are some good hot spots to meet geek/ nerd girls?
    • Like some Victorian-era Great White Hunter, you need to think like your prey. And while we’re all busy shuddering from the implications of thatparticular metaphor: the best places to meet geek/nerd girls are the places where geek/nerd girls gather. Comic shops are an obvious answer… but shockingly, frequently a wrong one. One of the sad truths about the direct market is that many comic stores are profoundly girl-unfriendly venues, with rude staff, racks upon racks of… well, racks (i.e. boobs, aka The Most Common Super Power) and the pervasive stench of arrested adolescence. This alone will make women uncomfortable; dudes hitting on them while there will only make it even more likely that they’ll never return. If you’re lucky to have a well-run comic store in your town, you’re welcome to take your chances, but I don’t always recommend it. Instead look to coffee shops and cafés, bookstores (especially the manga section) and bars that feature geek-friendly events like trivia nights.Or, you could read this summary of the top 5 places to meet girls.
  • Forgive the extremely nerdy question, but what are you using for your site?
    • I’m running WordPress on a privately hosted site. I may need to turn in my nerd credentials for this, but I can’t code for love, money or Blu-Rays.
  • I like a girl, but she’s in a relationship with someone else. Should I try to win her away? And how do I do that?
    • I’m sorry you like Jessie’s girl, man. But unless she’s already giving you signs that she wants to cheat on her boyfriend, there’s not really anything you can do besides make yourself a more interesting, attractive person. You’re welcome to keep flirting with her, teasing her and generally getting into her head. But your best option is to find someone else. Nobody likes a “friend” with an agenda, especially if that agenda is just to get into a girl’s pants.
  • I’ve gotten into online dating, but I want to avoid zombie (accounts that the owner never cancelled or deleted – ED) accounts. Any tips?
    • Most online accounts will give you a “latest activity” or “last online” indicator somewhere on the profile. If it’s longer than two weeks, tread carefully. If it’s a month or longer, the odds are that it’s a dead account.
  • How do you feel about who pays the tab when dating?
    • Whomever asks the other out first pays for the date; subsequent dates, they swap out. More on rules for dating can be found here including who buys which round of drinks and where not to go.
  • Most of your advice is written for guys. Why don’t you write more for geek girls?
    • Partially because I’m a geek guy; since a great deal of my writing is based on my experiences, I’m naturally going to have a guy’s perspective on things. In addition, it’s mostly men who write in asking for advice. I am always open for topic suggestions, so any nerd girls out there who have questions are encouraged to write in with questions or suggestions.
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About Dr. NerdLove:

Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) is an internationally recognized blogger and dating coach who gives dating advice to geeks of all stripes. Making nerds sexier since 20011

Remember: Dr. NerdLove is not really a doctor. [Read More …]

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