So let’s say that things have been looking up for you. You’ve been giving your life the make-over it needs. You’ve got some new clothes, a new attitude and a new outlook on life. Hell, you’ve even got a few phone numbers that you’re ready to turn into dates. You already know that dinner and a movie is out and the coffeehouse date is a non-starter – it’s a pre-date interview, not an actual date – and you want a first date that’s going to be memorable. Something that’s going to absolutely knock her socks off, something that’s going to set you apart from every other guy she’s ever been out with.
And ideally, a date that’s not going to cost you an arm and a leg.
Fortunately you have me to help you out.
But first, let’s take a refresher on just what you want from a first date.
An Ideal First Date…
Like I said last time: you don’t want to spend your time with your date asking the same interview questions that everybody else has asked a thousand times before. Similarly, you don’t want to waste at least half of your time unable to say anything and instead sitting in the dark anxiously waiting for some sign that maybe she’d be ok with your holding her hand while she’s wondering whether you’re going to make a move or just try to be sneaky about it.
At the same time, you don’t want to have the pressure of “THIS IS A DATE” hovering over your heads making you both anxious – wondering how it’s going, who’s supposed to pay1, is there going to be a kiss goodnight or if you should just go for the hug instead.
An amazing first date is all about the fun you’re having, not the fact that you’re on a date. By taking her off the beaten path, you’re flipping the script and treating her to a new experience. As a result, you’ll both be able to relax and be in the moment… and she’ll see you as someone who’s refreshingly different from all of the other guys she’s gone out with. Action dates – ones with physical activity like dancing or bowling – get your endorphins flowing and provide ample opportunities for socially acceptable physical contact. Educational dates such as cooking classes, wine tastings, or art tours provide new shared experiences as well as give you instant class. Competitive dates – dates where the two of you are in friendly competition such as mini-golf or an arcade – provide nostalgic thrills along side the rush of excitement that translates nicely to physical arousal, as well as an opportunity for friendly trash-talking.
So let’s look at some more first date ideas and why they work.
Comedy Club / Improv Show
After the ugly crash in the ’90s, the stand up comedy scene is experiencing a renaissance. There are more amazing up-and-coming comedians making their way through the ranks than there have been in a very long time and the current masters are on tour as well – you can see incredible comedians such as Doug Benson, Chris Hardwick or Maria Bamford for surprisingly cheap at your local comedy club as well as catch the locals on their way up. If stand-up isn’t your scene, improv comedy has also been growing in popularity, especially in college towns.
Why In The World Would I Want To Do This?
Women love somebody who can make them laugh. You may not be the funniest guy in the world, but that doesn’t mean you can’t borrow somebody else’s talent for a couple hours. It doesn’t matter whether it’s you making her laugh or Jim Gaffigan; you’re the one who made it happen, which means you’re the one who’s going to reap the rewards. In addition, you have the added benefit of being able to catch headlining talent before they leave the clubs and start headlining theaters – think of how much you and your date will love being able to point to the latest HBO comedy special and being able to say “We saw him when…”
Improv, on the other hand, adds a level of interactivity and unpredictability to proceedings. Feeling like the two of you are part of the show can help foster those shared moments that nobody else will ever come close to repeating.
Just a word of advice: do your research in advance. Some comedians’ material may not mesh with your date’s sense of humor and others… well, let’s just say I had one date that ended up with me and my date as the focus of Lisa Lampanelli’s set that night.
Who ever said that dates had to be night time affairs? Spend some time out away from the congestion and insanity of the city and spend some time enjoying the fresh air and sunshine!
Online resources exist to help you find hiking trails and opportunities even in urban centers, providing you with beautiful scenic trails for just about every level of fitness and experience. Bike trails, even off-road Segway tours (don’t laugh, they exist!) all provide opportunities to shut out the world and get back in touch with the beauty and serenity of nature.
Why In The World Would I Want to Do This?
There’s nothing quite like getting away from the noise of the city and to the peaceful tranquility of nature, even for a dedicated city boy like me. Hiking provides you with beautiful scenery and ample opportunity to talk and get to know one another. Getting out of the city and into nature, whether you’re walking through the forest, up rolling green hills, or through a scenic sandstone canyon is an instant adventure for just the two of you and the physical exertion spurs your body to produce the same endorphins that give people the “runner’s high”. You have an opportunity to show some leadership – a quality women find attractive – as you guide her along the trail. You can even bring along a bottle of wine and have a romantic moment watching the sun set from a beautiful hilltop vista or alongside a picturesque lake.
- whoever asked the other out, by the way [↩]