Friday can be one of the lonliest days of the week when you knock off work or get out of class only to realize that you’re staring down the barrel of spending yet another weekend doing the same old thing: sleeping in, too much time on the Internet or Xbox Live, maybe catching up on Breaking Bad or Dr. Who reruns via Netflix… it’s enough to make you go mad. You want to get out and meet people, but you simply can’t stand the bar or club scene… so what’s a single guy to do?
Well, as I always say, online dating is a great way to meet people, but if you really want to improve your success with women, you need to live an interesting life… so why not improve yourself as a person while maximizing your chances of meeting new and awesome friends?
Dr. NerdLove’s #1 Rule for Meeting Women
I can’t emphasize this enough: the people who are the best at meeting women and getting dates are people who live interesting, engaging lives. People are naturally drawn to those who lead interesting lives because they have ambition and drive. People living active lives are fun, and they tend to want to share that fun, excitement and sense of adventure. People who lead active lives help introduce us to new and exciting experiences which is an incredibly attractive trait.
Straight talk: whenever you ask a woman out, one of the first thoughts that will go through their mind is “what would my life be like if this person were my boyfriend?”1 You want to live a life that other people would want to be part of, one that will naturally attract people to it.
So if you’re looking for ways to become a better, more well-rounded individual and meet cool women at the same time, allow me to present you with five more awesome places to meet women… that aren’t bars or clubs.
5) The Park
Yup, time for some fresh air and sunshine2. In and of themselves, parks offer a relaxing, pleasant atmosphere – an oasis in the middle of urban city centers full of stressed out office workers and commuters. People naturally flock to parks to enjoy the calm, play games, enjoy the sun, go for a run, enjoy their lunch or even just take a break from the world around them. Spending some time in your local parks helps you de-stress and just enjoy soaking up some much needed vitamin D… while offering the opportunity to meet women who are also enjoying the chance to relax and recharge.
Even if it’s only for a half-hour at a time, hitting up into your local park can provide a much-needed change of scenery and reinvigorate you after spending the better part of your day bathed in the cathode-ray glow of your computer screen3. Bring a book, practice tai chi, join a fitness bootcamp, find someone to kick your ass at chess, or rent a kayak and enjoy getting out and about; spending time in the park can help you get you out of your house and your daily rut and putting you in the presence of women enjoying the same fine day you are.
Hell, in the warm summer evenings, many cities will invite everyone to bring their blankets and enjoy movies or concerts in the park, encouraging a communal experience… not to mention a great instant date. And if you happen to own a dog, you may very well find women coming up to you while you’re out taking your precious pampered pooch for a quick run.
(Doctor NerdLove does NOT endorse buying dogs specifically to meet women. They’re pets, not props. Of course, if you happen to volunteer to pet-sit or walk your friend’s dog as a favor… well that’s another story entirely.)
4) Amateur Sports Leagues
Let’s be honest: most of us simply aren’t active enough, and the prospect of spending 30 minutes to an hour on a stationary bike or treadmill while every TV in the gym blares Fox News and Keeping Up With The Kardashians is more likely to make you want to open a vein than get six-pack abs. Some folks enjoy traditional forms of exercise at the gym but others find them stupefyingly repetitive and boring.
One way to get some exercise – not to mention meeting new people – without driving yourself mad from boredom is to find your local amateur sports league.
Yes nerds, I said sports. I realize that for many geeks, the mere mention of sports produces an atavistic fear response brought on by generations of having seven shades of shit kicked out of you by the jocks in gym class, but stick with me here.
Just about every major city has a host of amateur sports leagues that go beyond the collegate standbys of football and soccer. In fact, many of these leagues are dedicated to the happy regression to your childhood: kickball, dodgeball, disc golf, pool, beach volleyball, cornhole4, skeeball and more. These aren’t for your average musclehead ex-jocks who dream of the glory days back in high-school before they realized they peaked early; the focus is on fun and socialization rather than competition.
Joining an amateur sport league is a great way to expand your social circle; if you don’t have enough interested friends or co-workers to field a team on your own, most leagues will help you find a team to join. The friendly competition carries all of the best attributes of an action date: working together on a team promotes bonding and the endorphin rush that comes from exercise and victory puts everybody in a relaxed, outgoing mood… perfect for when you want to start building that chemistry. Even better, training together makes you both look good; when we anticipate spending time with people at future events, our brains automatically tend to focus on our teammates’ good qualities.
Don’t have a kickball league in your area? Look into other group classes such as fitness bootcamps, or running and biking groups. I have many friends who’ve met their significant others through marathon training or cross-country bike teams.
- Men, on the other hand tend to worry about that somewhere after “So… how soon do we get naked funtimes?” [↩]
- Or as I like to call it, the manifested hate of the Cursed Star [↩]
- Yes, I know that most computer monitors and TVs are LCDs now. Shut up and enjoy the imagery [↩]
- fnar [↩]