This past week, I went to a very popular vacation spot and ended up running into a minor internet celebrity. He was there with another guy I recognized from his videos and his girlfriend. I tweeted afterward thanking them, and the next day, Minor Internet Celebrity DM’d me.
At first, he simply said he’d like to hang out more and that the next time we’re in each other’s part of the state (about 6 hours by car, 1 by plane), we should hang out. I didn’t have time yet to respond when he clarified that he and his girlfriend are in an open relationship, and would I be interested in going on a date with him sometime?
I said I would, and that I’d let him know when we are in the same area. His Twitter and videos are super feminist, and I am fond of the academic and non-pretentious quality of his work.
That said, I have three questions for you:
1. What are the rules of being the “other person” in an open relationship? I know it’s just one date (heck, he didn’t even say that he wants to sleep with me or anything like that), but while I’m a big fan of his, I want his girlfriend to be very much ok with everything.
2. Do you have any advice for a fan going on a date with someone they personally consider to be a celebrity? He seems super feminist, but also, the recent Aziz Ansari stuff is very much on my mind, and if this doesn’t go well (not necessarily sexual assault), I don’t want to hate him.
3. Although it’s the thing that’s not allowed to be said, I am a very conventionally attractive young woman. It’s rare that I don’t get some kind of comment about it when I’m in public. He is less conventionally attractive, however, I find his personality very attractive. If I did not already know who he was, I probably would not have agreed to go on a date with him, however, I’m trying to branch out and give people a chance this year. Do you have any advice for someone in this position?
I’ll add that although I look the way I do and am in my mid-20s, I’ve never really had a relationship before. I went to a famously mostly-girls college, and have been told that I come off as very intimidating to most men (I guess fangirling kinda removes the intimidation factor), and when they approach me, relationships are just SO not on my mind that I usually turn them down. I know I’m probably over thinking all of this, but I’m something of a perfectionist and really want to make sure this (if/when it even happens) goes well.
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