Once again, we’ve got a letter that’s a bit longer than usual for an Ask Dr. NerdLove, yet not QUITE long enough for a Post Mortem. Even so, as the writer says, it’s a bit of a twisty tale, so we’ll be taking it on in Post-Mortem fashion. Because sometimes you need to encounter the Chair Leg of Truth.
Here we… go!
I’m telling you right from the get go, mine is a long and complicated story.
It starts about a year ago, when I met this amazing girl (let’s call her M), who goes to college with me. We had a few friends in common and met several times at parties and classes, and soon started hanging out together.
She was (still is, actually) in a serious relationship so I didn’t make any moves even if I found her cute and we had an undoubtable chemistry.
English Major Peeve: “we had undeniable chemistry”. Not “an undoubtable.” Sorry. Carry on.
Plus, she is a really gorgeous girl and kinda out of my league, also considering the fact that I’m a 22 years old student who lives with roommates, doesn’t have a car and is always pretty broke and her boyfriend is a 30 years old lawyer (she’s 22 too). I mean, let’s be realistic.
First of all: lots of people live with roommates, especially at your age. You’re in college. It’s part of the whole adventure of being a college student: learning how to live with people you’re not related to or sleeping with. Second of all, not having a car or much money isn’t always a disqualifier. To quote Kevin Bacon:
Being a fucking waiter with no money, not a lot of drugs, just a mattress on the floor, and still being able to pull chicks. That’s when you separate the men from the boys.
Worry less about your material possessions and more about becoming an interesting, charming and funny person.
So, after a couple of months, I decide that I don’t have a shot, she’s with someone else and I have to put my crush to rest, even if it’s hard. I wasn’t doing too bad with girls at the time: I had a couple of casual, not serious relationship and I was okay with not having a girlfriend.
The problem is… after some time I realize I’m falling for M. I mean really, really falling for her: she seems absolutely perfect for me, we share interests, have the same sense of humor, almost the same opinions about everything. She seems THE ONE and I have to admit to myself that it’s not just a crush that can go away, it’s fucking love, and I’ve got to do something about it.