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Episode #97 – How To Develop a Powerful Mindset For Relationship Success

October 31, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Success, whether in life or in relationships, doesn’t come from having the perfect plan or never making a mistake. It comes
a mindset that strips away the things that hold you back and keeps you focused on what matters. You learn to avoid all of the ways you sabotage yourself and develop the emotional strength it takes to get up and win.

Whether you’re looking for love or chasing your dreams, if you change your mindset, you change your life.

Show Highlights:

  • Why success is born out of your attitude, not your actions
  • How a self-limiting beliefs trap us in a cycle of failure
  • Why we let the things we can’t control ruin our chances for success
  • Why an abundance mindset makes it easier to succeed in relationships
  • How the way we choose to see the world can change our future

… and so much more.

Related Links:

Your Attitude Controls Your Dating Success

Developing an Abundance Mentality

Redefining Failure

Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

How To Build A Mindset for Success

Listen Here
Download Here


Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

Episode #93: The Flirting Mistakes That Kill Attraction

September 12, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

There’s a lot of bad advice out there when it comes to flirting.  Advice that not only doesn’t work, but is actually a masterclass in how to creep women out and occasionally piss them off. Meeting women can be hard enough without making flirting mistakes that’re going to backfire, messily and all over the place. The last thing you want to do is ruin your chances with a woman by making the wrong move. Women want to like you and for you to like them too. So don’t screw it up. Learn how to avoid these common flirting mistakes that men make and women HATE.

Show Highlights:

  • Why your attitude controls your dating success
  • How flirting the wrong way just wastes your time
  • The common mindset that drives women away
  • How many guys ruin the attraction they’ve built with women
  • Why status isn’t the attraction switch guys think it is

and so much more…

Related Links:

Five Signs Women Want You To Approach Them

The Mistakes Men Make WHen Approaching Women

Privilege, Entitlement and Dating

How To Not Being Creepy

The Mistakes Men Make That Cost Them Dates

Listen Here
Download Here


Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

Episode #82: 5 Secrets to Getting Women To Approach You

June 28, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Don’t forget to pre-order my new book I Got Her Number. Now What? A Geek’s Guide To Texting, Snapchatting and Sliding into DMs, coming July 24, 2018

Lots of guys get anxious about approaching women that they’re attracted to. But what if there were a way to change that. Ever wished you were one of those men who had women coming up to them?

You can be… if you understand why women are willing to approach some men and not others. If you understand the secrets to why women do and don’t make the first move, you can learn to be the guy that women notice… and they’ll be eager to introduce themselves to you.

Show Highlights:

  • Why women don’t make the first move… and what you can do about it
  • How most men make it impossible for women to approach them
  • What you can do to make sure you stand out and be the man that women want to approach
  • The secret signal that you can use to get women to come talk to you
  • The number one mistake men make that makes women decide to talk to someone else

… and so much more.

Related Links:

Fix Your Flirting

The Subtle Things Men Do That Make Them More Attractive

Discover Your Style

5 Ways To Look Better (Without Going Broke)

5 Signs Women Want You To Talk To Them

Listen Here
Download Here


Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do Fix Someone Who’s Afraid To Date?

March 30, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Hey Doc,

So basically I met this wonderful guy over the summer. I’m a graduating senior at college and he’s in his second year of a three year grad program at the same university.

Background on me- I had 2 relationships in high school. They were long term and pretty intense. I was completely in love and I have just had experience with love and relationships. 1st two years of college I was super single, did not even have a sex drive. Junior year I started using TINDER and BUMBLE and all that good stuff and I was hooking up with a couple of guys and just exploring my sexuality. Also I’m a short Latina, as nerdy as they come.

Background on him- He has tons of childhood trauma and a complex relationship with his mom, mental health, friends, girls who hurt him, etc. Like he flat out told me he doesn’t know what love is and believes he never will know. He has a stutter so his insecurities follow him every minute. He was also a jock in high school and a frat boy in college, so he’s the tall cool athlete antithesis to me. lol.

So in summer we sort of clicked and within 2-3 weeks of talking, we started hooking up. I knew that he was different than the other guys I had hooked up with. We really met each other at an intellectual kind of level. On the surface it didn’t seem like we had much in common, but here we were, still going back to each other. He made it clear that he didn’t want a relationship or anything, so I mentally knew I wouldn’t be to him all that I might one day want.

So Fall starts, the school year starts, and we keep talking, seeing each other, going on dates, staying over his place, etc. Mid semester he brings up wanting to be exclusive, but a few days later he kinda freaks out and we agree to just keep going like we were. By the way, throughout this whole time, neither one of us was seeing other people. We talked everyday and saw each other regularly. For his birthday in late October I surprise him with a camping/cabin weekend (I rented a car and everything) and we just have an amazing time travelling with one another. After that he says he really wants to be my boyfriend and we’re both so happy to kind of admit to each other that we really like each other and want to be with another. Highs and lows happen, but the lows always bring us closer together.

In December, he came to Miami (my hometown) to visit me for New Years. He met my friends and family and even though it was all pretty scary, we kept being solid. By this point I know that I’m falling in love with him but I am just enjoying that process. While on the beach, he asks me to be his date to his brothers wedding in March, and I feel so good to start the semester with that since we both felt confident in our relationship.

Fast forward to now. The wedding was tons of fun and it was nice to formally meet all of his family from his dad’s side. We’re pretty steady and just incredibly happy. We both express gratitude and care to one another constantly and it’s such an incredibly solid and healthy relationship.

The thing is that I am absolutely fucking in love with him. I know myself. I have fine tuned my intuition. Even my best friends sees how in love I am. Half of me has this great hope that this is it, and we will keep being happy and grow together and half of me is terrified of how crushed I’ll be when I inevitably lose him.

The other thing is that he has expressed being so traumatized with the concept of love that I am certain that if I tell him, even if he feels strong feelings for me, he’ll freak out and go into a crisis, push me away mode. I don’t know how to explain how I know that, but I really do. Maybe he’ll need space for awhile and I’m fairly certain he’ll come back to me eventually after that, but I don’t know if I can handle someone reacting that way when I tell them I’m in love with them.

The other thing is that I am graduating, so in his mind he has always kept this in mind and made it kind of like a mental expiration date. I have told him many times that I want to stay here in Boston after I graduate (love you Florida but nah no thanks) and I am applying to jobs here, but I understand how he is still defensive about that, and wants to keep those walls up just in case I do leave.

So I do think that he is trying to keep his walls up to protect himself and that he is trying his best to not fall for me (he is also big on control and freaks out when he’s not in control, especially of his feelings). I totally get that and respect that. So I do think that if I were to accept a job here and start looking for apartments, etc, he would start to address those walls and maybe take them down. I think he’s absolutely worth the wait. I try to be patient for him because I know that his trauma and his mental health often just makes all this stuff harder for him to handle.

But my mental health is now at stake. I can’t listen to music without breaking down, I have to cry and sit with my emotions everyday at night before going to bed, because being in love with him and keeping that inside and having to suppress that all the time is literally the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. It’s so overwhelming I can’t concentrate on my work. I know he would never want me to suffer silently when just telling him would bring me relief but I keep wanting to put him first and wait until he’s ready.

Should I wait until I find a job, apartment, etc here in Boston and reassure to him that I will be here and I want to keep being with him, or should I tell him now?

Stuck In Limbo

[Read more…]

Paging Dr. NerdLove Episode #35 – Overcoming Negativity

June 29, 2017 by Dr. NerdLove 20 Comments

This week, it’s time for a little tough love. Some of this may sting. Some of it may be upsetting… but it’s going to be important. And if you stick through the end, you’re going to have some tools that’ll make things better.

Instead of talking about the things you should be doing… I want to talk about the thing that you’re doing that you desperately need to stop… because it’s killing your love life.

Show Highlights:

  • How one simple test reveals how your attitude hurts your love life.
  • Why you’re not as good at hiding your negative side as you think.
  • How a negative attitude pushes people away – even the people who like you.
  • Why pessimism makes it impossible to improve. 
  • The difference a positive or negative attitude makes to a first impression.

…and so much more

Related Links:

Do You Pass The Grimes Test?

Your Attitude Controls Your Dating Success

Unlearning Helplessness

Self Acceptance, Self-Improvement and Why You Need Both

5 Things Men Do That Make Them Less Attractive

Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes and on Stitcher.

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

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About Dr. NerdLove:

Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) is an internationally recognized blogger and dating coach who gives dating advice to geeks of all stripes. Making nerds sexier since 20011

Remember: Dr. NerdLove is not really a doctor. [Read More …]

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