I spend a lot of time working with men who want to get better at dating women. This ranges from guys who’re trying to recover from a bad break-up, guys who spend so much time in the Friend Zone that they could run for political office there and even men who’ve never so much as held hands with someone, never mind asked a woman out on a date. In all that time I’ve noticed something important:
The men who struggle the most with dating always — always — ask the wrong question. Every single time I’ve seen someone who says they can’t get a date, can’t talk to women or just have been cursed by the Universe to be Forever Alone, they inevitably compare themselves to other men. They treat dating like a competition; how can they be more desirable than their rivals? What can they do to keep other folks from “stealing” their girl? How, in pluperfect hell, can they get a date when Chad “20%” Thundercock is out there, rolling around and picking up 80% of the women like a weird, fleshy Cronenbergian version of Katamari Damacy?
But that right there is the mistake. The issue that all of these guys have is that they’re so focused on their “competition” that they’ve missed the fundamental truth. Other guys aren’t your competition. Women aren’t comparing dudes in a spreadsheet and going with the guy who has the most points. You’re not in competition with other men; you’re in competition with a night at home, alone.
The question they need to ask isn’t “how can I be more attractive than other guys.” It’s “why would women want to date me, specifically?”
Because here’s the secret: being attractive to women isn’t about your face or your body. 90% of good looks is about presentation and hygiene. Being attractive is about how you make women feel when you’re around and the way they miss you when you’re gone. It’s being the person they can’t wait to hear from. The person they can relax around and rely on.
That doesn’t come from your face or abs. That comes from within.
Here are 5 things that you can do to become someone women want to date.