body language Archives - Paging Dr. NerdLove

#117 – How To Be Instantly Magnetic To Women

July 3, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Charisma and personal magnetism aren’t about being the handsomest or most impressive person in the room. It’s about knowing how to connect with people in ways that other folks can’t. Understand how to build the right connections with people and amazing women won’t be able to stop thinking about you… instead of someone else.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS:

What the story of one man’s failure teaches us about personal magnetism and charisma
Why your presentation matters more than your looks
How your body language affects your connection with others
Why intensity and authenticity is so important
What most men get wrong about being cool, popular and desirable

…and so much more.

Find Your Swagger

The Value of Authenticity

5 Secrets To Being Make People Like You

How To Be Charming

5 Rules For Instantly Upgrading Your Style

Listen Here
Download Here
Transcript available at patreon.com/DrNerdLove

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Ask Dr. NerdLove: I Made A Mistake. Is It Too Late To Fix It?

November 5, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Greetings Doc,

A small preface about me and my dating history: I am a 27 year old male who has never been in a serious relationship, though have had a few flings last about a month. I am a reasonably handsome and pretty fit guy. I’ve never felt the need to necessarily ‘chase’ women – I’m okay with being alone. If I’m out with my buddies and I talk to a lady, great. If I don’t, great. That being said, for a long time my self-esteem and opinion of myself was pretty low, as well as dealing with a self sustained injury to my genitals left me feeling indifferent to the whole dating scene, until recently (thanks in large part to reading your work). I’ve taken steps like upgrading my wardrobe and taking better care of my body/health (everything works as it should).

A few months ago I asked a girl I work with if she wanted to grab some drinks – it was totally platonic, I had the night off and wanted to get out of the house, and she was game. We continued to casually hang and grab drinks every so often, whenever schedules allowed – we are both bartenders working at the same pub. I knew she had been dating a girl for almost a decade (she identifies as bisexual), and didn’t think anything would necessarily happen – until it did. One night as we were hanging out, we got into a little tickling/roughhousing fight, I picked up some serious signs, and made a move. Again, I was under the impression she was still with her girl at this time, although in the moment she did inform me that they were on a break. Great, I thought. A little fun for me!

Afterwards, working with her continued to be great, no issues, business as usual. We hung out and hooked up again, and at that point she explained what she was looking for: nothing serious, just exploring herself as she figures things out. Here is exactly when I caught some serious feelings.

We continued to go out on dates, having fun, always talking for hours and sharing a lot of laughs. She never checks her phone even though I know it’s being blown up, and always looks great and arrives on time.

One day at work I couldn’t help but notice a fella at the bar took quite the shine to her, and I couldn’t help but notice myself getting very jealous. I felt like it was written on my face and made work awkward, so the next time we went out I felt like I had to apologize. Then the floodgates opened: I basically did everything but propose, venting all my frustrations and unrequited love for her. At the time, it felt like a great weight was lifted. Now, I can’t believe how selfish I was: she’s going through something I can’t imagine, her phone is probably being blown up by her ex, all her girlfriends telling her what she should do, checking in on her, on top of whatever other messages she gets from Tinder or Bumble. My feelings and my problems are my own, not hers. My job should simply be her friend – she’s going through something I can’t imagine and the least I can do is just make her laugh and all.

Working with her continued to be great – no lingering awkwardness, still playfully punching/tickling/poking each other, still with the inside jokes about certain annoying patrons. She texted me that night after the date explaining that she was glad to have had that conversation as adults, and stressed nothing would change.

I let things mellow out for a couple weeks, until last week when I asked her to go bowling. Went great, lots of laughs, grabbed drinks afterwards and hung out all night. Said goodbye with one of my patented big ol’ hugs – the kind where I pick you up with a big bear hug. She always giggles and wraps her legs around me as I squeeze a liiiiiitle bit longer than usual. I felt good after that night, so naturally I had to think and ruin my mood. I notice of late she has been lending her car to a manager of ours who I know doesn’t have one, and is going through a rough patch with his own girlfriend. Obviously I began to think the two of them were an item, which again I felt is/was written all over my face.

I suppose my question is, what do I do? Should I let things calm down for a while/no more dates, and accept the fact I’m back to square one? Should I continue asking her out on dates/hanging when we can? Our schedules make it so that we would only have maybe one day/night off together a week, something she would also know. I should also mention I’ve begun using apps like Youper and Headspace to help process my emotions and have felt much better since starting that.

I feel like I know what answer is right, though hearing it from you would mean a lot more than some bullshit bro-science stuff from my idiot bro friends.

You do incredible work. Any response is greatly appreciated, and I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to read this.

Regards,

Insert Foot (a) Into Mouth Slot (b)

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Episode #90 – How To Be More Attractive… Instantly

August 22, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

When we talk about being attractive, we tend to think of it in terms of being physically good looking. But there’s a difference between being good looking and being attractive. People can be stunningly beautiful but have all the sex appeal of a block of wood. Meanwhile there can be people who are ugly as sin and yet have an almost mystical level of sex-appeal.

Being attractive isn’t about whether you have abs like whoah or cheekbones that you could cut cheese with. It’s not about your skull or your jawline; it’s about the way you present yourself and the effort you put in. Attractiveness is about the holistic person and the little changes that make you go from “nice” to “…niiiiiice”.

Show Highlights:

Why physical looks are only a small part of attraction
The simplest and quickest way to change how you look
One simple tip for an amazing haircut
The number one way men kill attraction
Why most men will never actually improve

…and so much more

Which Matters More, Looks or Personality?

Discover Your Style

5 Things Men Do That Make Them Less Attractive

5 Ways To Look Better (Without Going Broke)

Listen Here
Download Here

Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

Episode #89 – How To Improve Your Social Skills

August 15, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

One of the mistakes a lot of people make is that they assume that social success is a binary. Either you’re good with girls or you aren’t and there’s nothing you can do about it. But the good news is: that’s not true. Dating, being more successful with women, even just being more socially fluent is a skill that you can practice, and if you can practice it, you CAN get better at it. And you can learn to improve those skills quickly by breaking things down and practicing those skills individually… and integrating that practice into your day to day life.

Show Highlights:

How to make practicing social skills faster and more efficient
How to master making strong eye-contact
The secret to learning better non-verbal communication
Why practicing awareness leads to stronger social skills
The secret to beating approach anxiety

…and so much more.

Related Links:

How To Level Up Your Dating

Starting From Zero

How To Make Small Talk (For People Who Hate Small Talk)

5 Simple Ways To Strengthen Your Social Skills

5 Tips To Improve Your Communication Skills

Listen Here
Download Here

Don’t forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

How To Read Body Language

July 25, 2016 by Dr. NerdLove 23 Comments

Being able to read body language is a powerful tool to have in your social toolbox. After all, meeting people can be pants-shittingly intimidating at times. You want them to like you. Sometimes you want them to like you like you. You don’t want to end up annoying them, creeping them out or otherwise fucking up meeting a potential new friend or partner. At the same time, you can’t read their minds to gauge how they’re feeling about you. Being able to read their body language, on the other hand, gives you the insight you crave.

And for everything else, there's stalking their Facebook page. — And for everything else, there’s stalking their Facebook page. (Alexey Boldin / Shutterstock.com)

Now, despite what movies and TV will tell you, reading body language isn’t like doing a Sherlock scan on someone. You’re not going to be astounding people with your telepathic party tricks. But if you want to have a better sense of how someone feels or what they think about you, being able to read their body language will help you out.

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