Guys are surprisingly bad at knowing what we want.
No, seriously. Ever been hanging out with a buddy who insists that every woman he’s ever dated is “a complete psycho bitch“? Or the friend who seems to attract constant drama llamas who are continually having some sort of crisis in their lives? How about the guys who keep getting dumped over and over again or the ones who fall in love at the drop of a hat with women who will only break their hearts?
Maybe you know (or are) a guy who’s sole criteria is that she has to be a “10” or that she’s got to represent some hard to get “type” that’s always been out of your reach – the cheerleader who spurned you in high school, the hot party girl you never could get with, a big-name cosplayer with the awesome League of Legends costume at NYCC. Maybe she needs to be the Manic Pixie Dream Girl to bring excitement and adventure to your life.
There comes a point when you have to be willing to admit that the only common denominator in all of these failed relationships or attempts at relationships is, well, you. If you keep going after women you think you want but are fundamentally incompatible with, then you’re just begging for heartbreak.
All too often there’s a serious disconnect between what we think we want and the people we’re actually compatible with. Sure, it’s easy to say “yes, Scarlett Johannsen and I would be perfect for each other” when you’re looking at her on the cover of Esquire, but unless you’re already somehow in the industry, your lifestyle and values are going to be night-and-day different.
When it comes to finding an awesome woman, you have to know what you should be looking for.