There’s a truism when it comes to dating: the problems you have in your dating life are a reflection of the problems you have in your daily life.
One of key aspects to the NerdLove approach to dating is that the key to having more success in your social life – whether it’s more sex, more dates or just finding an amazing relationship – is to become a better, more interesting, more authentic person. It’s trying to get there that’s the problem. This is one of the reasons why people like to toss out platitudes like “just be yourself” as dating advice – it sounds like a profound and meaningful answer that covers up the real answer of “I really don’t know what to tell you”.
Unfortunately, when it comes to self-improvement, most advice tends to focus on the surface issues and quick fixes. This is why pick-up artistry is so appealing; it offers magic bullet solutions and push-button answers to dating. But dealing with the surface issues is like giving a house a fresh coat of paint; it may look nicer on the outside, but the foundation problems are going to make everything worse.
There are no quick fixes when it comes to self-improvement; if you want a better life, you have to dig deep and put in the work. But there are ways to make the process easier, less stressful and get you the lasting results you actually want.