It’s easy to get frustrated when you’re single and looking. The world can feel like it’s full of happy couples as far as the eye can see while you’re still the Last American Virgin, doomed to die alone, unloved and unmourned.
Of course, part of the problem is that there are no shortcuts when it comes to meeting people. No matter what your spam folder promises you, hot singles in your area aren’t going to just fall into your lap. If you want to meet people, you have to actually go out and find them. Which, in many cases, is exactly the problem.
While it’s easy to say (as, admittedly, I do) “go out and practice your skills“, going out and putting yourself out there can be… well, really fucking frustrating.
Speaking from personal experience, maintaining the motivation to keep on working was one of the hardest parts of my learning how to be socially successful. When you’re out hitting the bars and striking out faster than a starter for the Arizona Diamondbacks1, it only takes a couple of polite dismissals before you decide you’d be better off going home and bingeing The Defenders instead. And while dating apps like Tinder are supposed to make getting laid a push-button exercise, swiping right while everyone else seems to be swiping left can make you feel like you’re the last guy picked for dodgeball… again.
And hey, who wouldn’t prefer to go back to a life of books, cats and fights on Twitter instead of dealing with all of that? Hell, even when you’re socially skilled, it’s still possible to blow your motivator; I’ve had times when I’ve been travelling when I’d been torn between “need to talk to people” and “Oh God do I have to?”
So how do you stay motivated to keep trying to find that special someone (or someones) when it feels like the entire universe is telling you to knock it the fuck off?
Glad you asked. Here’s what I’ve learned about staying motivated:
- A reference that surely won’t be dated by this time next week [↩]