So I was in a relationship for 6 years. I had step-kids I love and I thought everything was going well. At least, until my now ex-fiancé decided to cheat on me with my 2 “best friends” and a girl he knew I didn’t like. I ended up leaving him, getting back with him a few weeks later, leaving again a year later for a year, and then going back for 4 months to leave him again. We are completely over now but I am left with SERIOUS trust issues and major self esteem issues.
Recently I started dating a friend I’ve known for a few years. I moved across country to be with him and we’ve been living together for about 7 months now. Because of the trust issues, I went through his phone and found out that he was on FB Dating. I confronted him and he deleted it. Or so i thought. He was previously in an 8 year long super toxic relationship too, so he has some issues from it.
I looked at his phone again and found him messaging several women on FB Dating AGAIN. I confronted him again and he said he was just “giving me something to find” since I want to be disrespectful and look thru his phone. But here’s the thing… If he never gave me a reason to be suspicious in the 1st place I wouldn’t have done it. And regardless, he’s still actually talking to other women and COMPLETELY disrespecting our relationship and me personally. And he’s doing it to play a game, basically. I don’t respect a liar or a cheater, but I feel like maybe that’s all I’m worth. I’ve always been cheated on so maybe there is something wrong with me… Maybe I’m not good enough to be loyal to.. I don’t know. But what I do know is that I am really sad. I’m very confused. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted, and I could really use some advice. If I leave him, I don’t even have anywhere to go. I have no family here and I’m new here so all of my friends are his friends. Please try to steer me in some direction. Please! I’m so anxious and so lost.
I’m Just Not Worth It