communication Archives - Paging Dr. NerdLove

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Date Out Of My League?

April 15, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

So Doc, I need to figure out how to date a better quality of person.

You see I’m a uni dropout, working a minimum wage job and at his early 20s is still living with his parents. So I’m not exactly the full package, barely any friends, not respected at all and why should I be, I’m a modern day peasant or serf.

Now I absolutely believe that I could get a slacker woman with no plans for the future (my dreams of being a writer are fanciful and will likely never happen) but I don’t want that, existing and barely subsisting while getting shit on by the general public for a living.

What I hope for one day is a woman with dreams and ambitions that she has achieved and is in the process of achieving, not a useless being who’ll likely stay in her hometown her whole life (like I have, regrettably).

Where the hell do I find women who actually take interests in things and are actually good at something, because they sure aren’t in minimum wage. Incidentally, I am good at very little so there is likely going to be a prerequisite to being able to get into a relationship, hobbies, happiness , self confidence, that type of thing.

Shit, maybe I should travel the world…or at least more of my home country. I’ve been branching out more into things like organic coffee shops and independent burger bars and things like that, but I feel way too out of place there, like I’m some poser commoner who should slop his unworthy ass back to McDonald’s.

I mean shit, minimum wage workers very rarely find love and if they do, it’d be with other minimum wage workers (I assume). I also feel a lot of shame when talking about my job, it reminds me of everything I’ve failed at, failing out of uni after so much work and taking a low-end position to make ends meet.

I guess I just don’t have much of a life right now and I’ll have to work harder at getting one, joining clubs, getting into a team sport, going to concerts, just like everyone else.

I’m quite far behind Doc, ì need to catch up on building a better life, although some practice dating and asking people out in person would be ideal as online dating is not proving fruitful. I don’t quite believe that people actually ask each other out in person anymore but perhaps I can be proven wrong.

Thank you
Retail Drone

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Ask Dr. NerdLove: I Want to Date Younger Women. What Should I Do?

April 5, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Hi Doc,

Thanks for all the hard work and great articles, lots of great advice which has helped in the past – your book New Game+ has been a huge benefit to me. My question is a quick one, around how sexual desire changes when you get older.

I’ll hold my hands up and say from the get-go that I myself am very young, only 26! However, I’ve have usually been in relationships with older women (10+ years older than me). Recently, I have been in a wonderful, loving relationship with an older women over the past year or so. However, in my day to day life, I come across lots of other interesting and attractive women, many of whom are young (18-26, I work at a college). Understandably, I find many of them sexually attractive – but I struggle on a somewhat daily basis with feelings of guilt and lust, as I am noticing the age-related differences between the younger girls and my partner more frequently.

Concurrently, I was listening to podcast by Russell Brand recently, and he mentioned how he has gotten to the point of having such a rich spiritual and emotional connection with his wife that he doesn’t feel the need to put another person in between that space anymore. This got me thinking – as you age (50+, 60+, 70+), your lusts for nubile flesh and younger women (or men) must be increasingly harder to fulfill. Instead, you will need to prioritise experiencing the whole emotional and spiritual connection with another person in its entirety (rather than just wanting them for their hot ass!). I am also aware of your other blog post about how society fetishises younger women of a certain demographic, and we are living in an Instagram and porn-addicted world where our standards of sex are enormously warped.

So, tell me Doc, can you successfully lust after young, nubile partners as you age – will it make you happy, and sexually satisfied? Or should we instead prioritise only valuing the spiritual connection with another person during sex? Or can you have both?

Benjamin Button

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Episode #110 – The Truth About Women And Casual Sex

March 29, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Why aren’t more women interested in casual sex? What can guys do to find women who’re interested in a no-strings hook-up? It’s time to talk about the TRUTH about women, casual sex and how to find it…

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS:

▶︎ Why women prefer relationships to hook-ups and casual partners
▶︎ How the orgasm gap affects our relationships
▶︎ Why being The Cool Girl works against women AND men
▶︎ Why “casual” sex is BAD sex
▶︎ What men can do to find more casual, no strings hook-ups

…and so much more

▶︎ 5 Rules For Better Hook-Ups

▶︎ What Women Wish Men Knew About Good Sex

▶︎ Who REALLY Has The Power In Dating?

▶︎ Stop Calling It ‘Casual Sex’

Listen Here
Download Here
Transcripts available at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

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Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.www.doctornerdlove.com/books

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Am I Wrong To Be Jealous of His Ex?

March 29, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Hey Doc,

I (29F) have been dating my boyfriend (32M) for almost a year and I’m jealous of the relationship he has with his ex. He texts with his ex all day and he tells me they are just really good friends. They rarely hang out in person. This woman has been in his life for 6 years and they were engaged to be married. The engagement ended because they disagreed about the subject of children.

I feel like they have a connection that I’ll never have with him. He tells me that they are just friends and he loves me. I feel like I’m the backup and they will reconnect in the future thus leaving me. Am I crazy for feeling jealous?

– Ol’ Green Eyes

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Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Tell My Girlfriend About My Kink?

March 27, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

(Doctor’s Note: Hey NerdLovers, I came down with a hellacious case of con crud after ECCC and I’m only about 60% recovered at the moment. Since I couldn’t get a new episode of the podcast out this week, y’all are getting a bonus column, with the possibility of a quick and dirty podcast episode by Friday. We’ll see. Meanwhile… enjoy!)

Hey Doc,

I have an unusual fetish. I’m a straight guy and still a virgin due to shyness and approach anxiety and since I was at least 17, I’ve noticed I have a tickling fetish. The idea of being consensually bound and tickled mercilessly by hot women, or me consensual tickling a hot, bound, ticklish women, or women gleefully do it to each other while permitting me to watch, (all of these activities with safe words and breaks) excites me like little else in the bedroom. I have ZERO idea why, and I’ve embraced this quirky fetish as an inherent part of my sexuality.

That being said, I’m a little insecure about it. First off, it’s not something I typically picture doing with a committed romantic partner, it’s more something I see doing with a casual sex partner. I’m honestly afraid to ask for it if I end up in a sexual situation with someone, as thought of tickling typically brings back terrible childhood memories (it does for me to, but I’m able to separate those memories from what I know seek to enjoy as a consenting adult.)

Every time the subject comes up on mainstream news sites or social media, 90% of the reaction (from men and women alike) seems to be how it’s such a creepy fetish to have.

So I’m honestly wary of bringing it up or pursuing it, and most BDSM networking sites intimidate me, and I’ve noticed the sites geared toward connecting people with this specific fetish are always huge sausage fests, where women’s personals get thousands of replies whereas straight men’s personals get zero. Is that much of a deal breaker? Is it a mark against me personally? Should I ask for it or just forget it and just accept that it will just remain a fantasy? How should I even ask for it?

Sincerely,
Insecurity Is No Laughing Matter

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