Good evening Doc,
Well this seems like my yearly fuck dating thing I do all the time. It seems that I’m not up to cut to date anyone ever. I’ve been working out for few years lost 70lbs and still feel like crap most of the time. Dating at this moment is a constant reminder of past, present and future failures in trying to even find a women that is even 2% interested in me or anything that I have to say. To me it seems that women are immediately repulsed by me; none have ever said that but it’s the feeling I get.
I workout 4-6 days a week, have a good paying job, friends that I don’t hate, two motorcycles, go to EDM concerts and travel quite a bit, hobbies include trying to learn to draw and DJ.
So at this point it either has to be location or me. I’ve tried OKCupid, I never get any responses I always ask something about a picture they have or a joke or something. Tinder I lasted about 36 hours before I deleted that. Tinder added to the fact that my face must be severely fucked. I’ve reading Models, No More Mr. Nice Guy, Mate, Definitive Book on Body Language. Takeaway from those is once again keep working on yourself and it will happen. Keep and eye open but don’t look too hard. Right….
My two roommates must be vagina whispers, they have so many girls every week coming in and out of the house it’s insane. They don’t leave the fucking house they barely clean, I’m pretty sure if these guys lived on their own, their house would be a disaster. I started going to therapy a year ago to hopefully figure out what to do but at this point. Turns out I have ADHD and depression. My mood is better but that’s about it
I was listening to an art of manliness podcast, they had Duana Welch on she was talking about how to be more attractive to women. I gathered from that talk was that men who don’t want to provide or protect are not much use as a man. But men don’t like women that are unattractive.
I believe people should hold there own and only need minimal help from the other person, so I’m screwed. So since I don’t care to provide and protect for women, some other guy will and I’m useless as a man. If this is 50/50, are we not equals? They were talking about making a list of dating requirements, like loyalty and femininity and whatnot.
Just flashing back to the women in my life growing up were all breadwinners, they ran there own businesses all worked in some caliber. From what I’m reading those women are going against the norm and are also screwed to be alone forever as well.
I’m 31 now, and I wasn’t always this lonely or down about being by myself. But around 25 or 26, even though I was doing all the things I was supposed to in order to enjoy life, I just wasn’t meeting women. And as that started building on itself, it just became the biggest failure in my life, and what I started worrying about constantly.
I’ve talked with my therapist about trying to get in a good feedback loop by just doing just little things but those don’t help still feel useless and worthless. Then that spills over into any type of relationship I would have had with anyone.
At this point I’m more frustrated and angry more than anything. Feels as though I should give up. At 30 not that I’ve lived that long or anything, everyone says once you hit 30 you won’t care and then it will happen.
Any advice ?
Sincerely,
Frustrated Nerdy Black Guy
