Doctor’s Note: today’s column involves a brief discussion of suicide and suicidal ideation Hi Dr. NerdLove, I’m a mental health therapist who has been really glad to have your blog as a resource to recommend to some of my clients. Even if I give the same advice, it lands differently coming from you than from…
confront your fears
Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Can I Compete With “Players”.
Doctor’s Note: I’m rerunning some popular classic columns while I’m on vacation. Regular publication will resume next week. Today’s column was originally published on 8/17/2018 Hi Doctor, There is something where I think you haven’t spent much words on before (or I may have missed it), of which I would find your view on the…
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How Do I Stop Letting My Fear Sabotage My Relationship?
Hey Doc, let me start by saying “Thank you” for your work. It helped me get into dating and relationships when I was terrified of the prospect and provided uplifting-but-no-bullshit advice when I needed it. Now I ask you more directly for advice since a) I haven’t been able to find this topic in your…
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How Do I Stop Bullying Myself?
Hello Doc, This is how my mind works when I see an attractive woman I want to talk to: “Hey, my coworker is pretty cute. I wish I could get to know her more.” “She’s in a different department, how could I talk to her?” “If I were to go up to her for no…
How Do I Get Over My Fear of Women?
Hello Doc, I’ve been struggling for over a decade to express my interest and sexual desire to women in any meaningful way. When opportunity is there, I instinctively disengage and mentally collapse inward. I become physically anxious and upset, even while my thoughts are calm or elsewhere altogether. Call it shyness, call it social anxiety,…
These Mistakes Are Costing You Dates
I have a serious question for you: are you someone who plays to win, or who plays to avoid losing? Most folks would say that, yes, they absolutely play to win. Even if they’re not the sort of min/maxing, loophole-finding, cutthroat gamesman who makes board game night a flaming hellscape, people will generally say that…