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Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Apologize For Being A Creeper?

November 25, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Hello Doc,

Owing to my reflection on some recent events in my own life within the last week or so, it occurred to me that I may have accidentally creeped someone out a bit over time, and now may be facing some social consequences for it, to say nothing of feeling like an idiot.

For background information, the someone is a young lady who I have had an off and on fancy for, whom I happen to have shared a musical ensemble with for about a year and a half or so. She seems fairly shy and fairly hard to read, which has proven a bad combination with my social ignorance: she has shown interest off and on, e.g., randomly bothering me or asking what I am doing, even fairly recently, but I have not acted on her signals in a timely way. Consequently, our relationship has mostly consisted of occasional brief chats and awkward eye contact across the room, other than the occasional outings with the other ensemble members.

In the past month or two, though, I felt stronger feelings for her and, in what I now rather feel was a mistake, attempted to hang around with her more around campus as a puppy might. On top of that, in what I now know and believe to have been a terribly stupid way to try to signal my interest, I took to seeking more eye contact with her. I think this fawning may have backfired rather badly. I was more or less politely signaled to piss off with a round of “I don’t know where we’re goings” to what seemed to be a group meeting a few weeks ago. While there may have been other reasons, I now suspect that it was probably not unrelated to making her or others uncomfortable by my nonverbal social stupidity.

Fast forward to this week, more or less. Things seemed a bit better, and I was tired of my not making my intentions relatively clear, so I asked her by text to coffee with a firm option of Wednesday or Friday. After a notable delay, she said she was very busy and was not sure that she could manage anything. Given everything else, and my understanding that she had just quit her job, I figured she was just letting me down gently. However, things have been appreciably more awkward since, as may be expected. The main differences I have noticed with her is that she is now often blushing when I am around, but she also seems more averse to contact in general, though she does not present with obviously defensive body language or anything like that, and does seem to glance at me every now and then. I can’t help but wonder if she is actually trying to get my eye contact or is trying to check if I am looking at her. Feeling like I cannot win, I have tried to ignore her and give her space since that exchange, out of my fear of having creeped her out, but I find it hard to completely ignore her as she still confuses me. Now I worry that she was just trying to spare my feelings, and my reaction to that is sending the wrong message of my being angry with or otherwise insulted by her: this is on top of my concerns that I have become the “weird guy” in the group for the time being, which makes it difficult to assess how involved I should be with anyone for the moment.

So the rub of it is this: I would like for things to at least be cordial, if not amicable, between us and her social circle, as a lot of them are my fellow musicians. I believe I accidentally did some socially stupid things and may now be viewed with some suspicion or other form of disdain. I am tempted to apologize to her for having creeped her out over the last few weeks, but I am not even completely sure if I have offended her, and am worried that apologizing for what could be nothing could make me appear to be an insecure and paranoid person, which I admittedly am to a degree. Asking her if I have bothered her seems like an even worse idea. However, I also rather naturally would prefer to not be a pariah in the group on account of all of this, and would like to correct things as smoothly as possible.

Any and all advice would be appreciated.

Did I Err?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Dr. NerdLove Tagged With: ask dr. nerdlove, ask to kiss her, communication, does she like me?, does she like you, Don't Be A Creeper, first kiss, non-verbal communication, read her signs, read the room, rejection, sexual consent, signs of interest, use your words

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Ask My Bartender for A Date?

September 30, 2019 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Dear Dr. NerdLove:

I wanted to reach out to you because I’m seeking guidance on a potential relationship, but am uncertain of how to proceed.

About 2-3 years ago, I went with a friend to a nearby bar, which featured a “Taco Tuesday” special after we had both seen “Sorry to Bother You,” and wanted to discuss it further. Needless to say, the bartender working that night was sociable (especially once I showed an interest in her work and craft) and overall it was a good time.

A year or so later, I came back to the bar one night to meet some other friends. Once again, she was working there and seemed happy to see me. We caught up a bit, and much to my surprise, comped me for one of my drinks, which was sweet and generous of her. This back-and-forth carried on throughout the rest of last year. I’d show up, eat, drink, tip generously, and talk. It turned out we had a good amount in common: she’s a photographer, I crew on film/video jobs. We both love talking mixology and different liquors and liqueurs.

In short, I developed a bit of a crush on this bartender. And after introducing her to some of my friends, they also picked up on a potential mutual interest vibe. So near the end of last year, I expressed an interest in hanging out with her outside of her workplace. She, much to my surprise, gave me her cell phone number and seemed willing to meet. She did express a desire to keep it casual, however, although that was not a deal-breaker for me. As someone who has to be friendly and sociable to keep working, making friends is always easier and slightly more comfortable to me.

So I reached out to her at the beginning of this year to see if she wanted to get coffee. She did text back that she was in favor of it, but we never got a date or time pinned down, so I let it go, not wanting to pressure her. Fast-forward to now, where I stopped into her bar for a meal and some drinks. She was working there and seemed very happy to see me, so much so that she came around the bar to sit next to me as we both talked about our lives. At this point, even I felt like there was some kind of chemistry between us, and this was before the liquor started flowing.

Later on, I sent her an invite by way of a text message to a casual event among friends, but she didn’t respond, though I didn’t take it personally. Given her desire to keep things simple, I figured pushing her for an answer wouldn’t be helpful.

So in summary, I’ve been interested in getting to know this bartender a bit more outside of the place she works. We have common interests and goals, and seem to get along well enough when at her workplace. The question is where the boundaries for this relationship are.

If it can be romantic, that would be fantastic. If it’s more of a friendship, I would also enjoy it greatly, since I find myself cherishing those the most. If it’s more of a casual acquaintance-type of deal, I also would be willing to accept it, since the matter would be settled. The issue comes down to asking whether there’s room for this relationship to grow at all outside of the bar.

I’ve read enough articles and essays to know how often women have to be diplomatic when refusing the advances of men, and the difficulties of navigating that space safely. Therefore, I’ve tried to avoid overstepping my bounds with her or violating what trust I’ve earned.

Any advice or help you could provide here would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

-Searching for Boundaries

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Dr. NerdLove Tagged With: ask dr. nerdlove, ask her out, bars, bars and clubs, bartender, boundaries, customer service, dating a co-worker, does she like me?, flirting, professionally flirty, service industry, waitstaff

Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Live As An Introvert Surrounded by Extroverts?

February 9, 2018 by Dr. NerdLove Leave a Comment

Hi Doc,

This isn’t really a relationship question but if anyone would know how to advise a socially awkward introvert, it’s you!

Let’s start with some background on me. I’m a 26 year old woman with social anxiety and depression (currently in therapy and on pills) and suspected Aspergers or ADHD too (awaiting an assessment). I’m an only child, and I grew up with parents who weren’t close to their own families, so Christmas was usually just the three of us and I didn’t see much of my extended family. I was a perpetual outcast at school and I’ve never had close friends, which isn’t actually something that bothers me. I’m happy on my own. I don’t mean that in a sour grapes way, I just genuinely tend to require very little social stimulation outside of romantic relationships. I moved out of my parents house when I was 16 as we have a strained relationship, and though I had to move back briefly a few times for financial reasons, any time I’ve lived there, including as a younger teen before I moved out first, I’ve been very independent. Any place I’ve lived in since I moved out has been either just mine, or with a partner. I’ve never done the roommate or shared house thing. Not having my own space and knowing who is coming in and out of the house and when makes me really edgy and feel like I’m under siege.

Now, while being this kind of person is inconvenient, I’m perfectly happy with myself. Different strokes for different folks and all that. I’ve never felt lonely, and trying to make myself more “normal” just lead to a bit of a drinking problem when I was younger because that was the only way I felt like socialising was enjoyable. I’m a massive loner and I’m fine! Except that now, I live in a foreign country. I was planning on moving out of my home country due to a political situation and on one of my many visits here, I met a local and fell in love, and now I live with him. And his parents. We want our own place but the town is tiny, there’s about 5 rental properties and they’re all occupied, and even if there was a house for sale, it’d be way out of our price range. So we’re in a bedroom at his parents house.

My boyfriend’s country is small, and the culture is very based around big families and it’s very close-knit. His mum is especially extroverted and constantly has people over, Christmas is a huge 20+ people affair, and practically everyone is somehow related to him. I’m serious, all but one house on our street has a relative in it, and you can’t even go to the capital city without him bumping into a cousin or an aunt. His mum is one of 8 siblings. Everyone’s super friendly and nice, but also very outgoing and huggy. And his mum is really lovely, but she also moves my stuff around a lot when she’s on a reorganisation binge, and that makes me hella uncomfortable too.

Obviously, this whole culture is stressing me the fuck out. If I’d not met him and I was here alone, I’d be fine, but being with him sort of automatically brings me into situations I’ve either never done, like big family events, or can’t stand, like getting an unwanted hug in a supermarket from an aunt. There’s zero expectation of privacy too, people will just open the front door and walk into the house, and until I made it clear to him that my culture finds it rude as shit, my boyfriend genuinely didn’t see any issue with telling his mum about a medical condition I have. I got some bad news about one of my own family members a while ago and someone I’ve never met before approached me in the post office to give their sympathies.

I’m on edge constantly now. I wasn’t exactly a social butterfly before but leaving the house makes me uncomfortable in case I get tackled by a random relative, and I don’t feel great about staying at home either because who knows who’s gonna be in the house. I used to cook, and now I’m living off microwave meals so I don’t have to go into the kitchen. I spent all of Christmas and New Years having panic attacks. I’m currently sitting here really needing to pee, but not getting up because there’s random people in the house and I just wanna fucking piss without getting cornered by an uncle to be asked if I’ve healed up from the surgery on my cervix yet. I broke down crying in the garage yesterday because something of mine had been moved again and I’m so on edge that the slightest little thing is sending me over. I used to be able to tolerate or even be totally comfortable bumping into people I know and now just the idea of it has me tensing up. I’ve even been getting hives.

So doc, what the hell do I do here? We’re planning on moving to another country on a year or two due to the boyfriend’s job, but in the meantime, I’m spiralling hard. Boyfriend is hella supportive but there’s only so much that can do when this is our living situation. Moving out isn’t an option, moving to my home country is legitimately impossible thanks to the political situation. I’ve tried to enforce some boundaries as best as I can but there’s such a huge cultural barrier in play here that I don’t think it actually occurs to people that anyone would be bothered by any of this. How do I learn to live without my usual (admittedly high) level of privacy, alone time, and control over my environment?

Back In My Shell

There’re times when you’ll have two people who just aren’t compatible. They may love each other to pieces, but the differences between them are just too great to make the relationship work. Those are often a tragedy. One of the lesser known – but equally tragic – relationship dilemmas is when the differences aren’t insurmountable… but the situation is untenable, turning inconveniences into disasters and the usual rough edges into mis-matched gears.

I’ll give you this, BIMS, if you and your boyfriend make it through this, then your relationship will be bulletproof. There’re few things that test the strength of a couple quite as much as throwing yourselves into a new country and a family dynamic that is the complete opposite of your own. Add incredibly close quarters with no opportunities for personal space and you’ve got a recipe for a relationship achieving critical failure – messily and all over the place. For a lot of couples, this particular experiment would end like a pair of rats in a too-small cage – with one pile of bones and one fat rat.

Of course, before that can happen, you have to survive the experience without going insane.

If you want to keep your sanity, then you have two priorities. The first is to get some much-needed space. This may be a problem due to sheer logistics; after all, you’re not in a place where you can dictate the rules or have more of a say about who has access to your living space. And while your own space can be mental as well as physical… right now it sounds like you need some serious isolation time.

Ideally, you would be able to move far enough away that you could find your own place but close enough to still be able to commute to your respective jobs. If there were some sleepy bedroom community or suburb nearby that you investigate, you might be able to get some much needed alone time.

Another option – though one that might be financially feasible – might be to look into getting a hotel room or AirB&B for a night or two on the regular. Even if you and your boyfriend pitched it as “hey, loving couple need a little alone time”, this would at least be a chance for you to get away from the maddening crowds and recover a little of your emotional stability.

Alternately, if there are places that you could reach with ease that are relatively isolated or that offers sufficient solitude – whether it’s a library or a quiet patch of woods or field – those might give you enough time on your own to let you rebuild your reserves.

But your second priority is going to be communicating with your boyfriend. You are, in a very real way, a stranger in a strange land and he’s your primary point of contact with his family and his culture. This means he’s also on deck to be your first line of defense and the one to be the defensive linesman to your quarterback.

(Can you tell I sports quite often?)

He needs to be running interference for you – explaining to your family just how seriously different this is for you and how much it’s taking a toll on your sanity. It’s not that you’re the ugly tourist who refuses to follow the local custom, it’s that the things that others take for granted are literally damaging your health. You’re doing your best here, but you’re reaching the breaking point. And if your boyfriend wants to continue being your boyfriend – or not dealing with a proper meltdown – then the best thing he can do is start being your advocate. This may take a serious and awkward conversation – possibly several  – to suss out, since he may not realize that this isn’t just a little quirk you can get over. But once you can make it clear just how much this is damaging you, then he’s the one who’s in the best position to help establish boundaries like “please don’t touch my girlfriend’s stuff, no really”. He might also be able to help make arrangements like “Let’s let BIMS hide in her room for an hour with headphones and a white-noise app” so that you can get at least some refuge from the crush.

The thing to remember – and something to reinforce to your boyfriend and, through him, to his family – is that being an introvert or having serious social anxiety in crowds isn’t something you just “get over”. It’s part of you, as much as your teeth and bones, not something that you can will away or grow out of. This means that if you and he are going to have long-term potential, he’s going to have to make accomodations for you, just as you’ve had to make accomodations for him. It’s just that your accommodations involve things like “yeah, she needs to not be around people for a while.” And that, honestly, isn’t that big of an ask – even in an incredibly outgoing and extroverted country.

It’s good that there’s an end-date to your trials, BIMS; knowing that makes it easier to grit one’s teeth and persevere. But it’s not going to do you any good if you grit your teeth so hard your jaw snaps. Work with your boyfriend and find your space wherever you can. It may take getting creative – hell, it may take straight up, hiding. But you’ll get through this.

And when you do, you’ll know that you and your boyfriend can survive damn near anything.

Good luck.


Hey Doc,

I work with this girl she is 6 years my senior. We started flirting back in May of 2016. She was not ready then, I was not ready then(did not know it), we got super close and it imploded somehow.
Fast forward to July 2017, we where prepping a department together for inventory(we never stopped being friends) and a fellow coworker called us out on liking each other.  She gave me the eyes I first fell for and tried to make out that she didn’t like me like that.. Now here we are. Two friends of mine are actively pursuing her. I’ve been offering advice, even when I tell them how I feel… but look, I want her to be happy. 

Recently we were all hang out at a pool hall in a large group. She’d come with one of my friends – though strictly platonically – but the whole time she’s giving me that vibe. Every few seconds we catch each other glancing at the other; we lock eyes for a minute take a break repeat about 10 more times. Things are so close to what they used to be, but I am trying to wait for a chance to have a conversation with her away from work so we can talk it out.

But I am unsure if I should just let her know at work when we’re both on break. Or keep trying to fit into her busy schedule(she is a single mother of three).

I have found myself over this last year. I am confident that we would work together. I am just scared to take the plunge…How do I take the plunge?

Reigniting The Flame

Look my dude, you have two choices here. Either you say something or you don’t. The longer you wait, the greater the odds that someone else will ask her out on a date and the greater the odds that she’ll say yes. She may damn well be ready to take another shot at making the two of you work, but that can’t happen if the two of you don’t talk to each other. So if you want this to happen, then you’re going to have to make it happen.

Look, there is no reward without risk. Do you want a second chance with her? Are you convinced that she’s ready to try again with you? Then you’re going to have to reach down into your guts and find the courage to pull her aside. Tell her that you want to find time to talk. And if she doesn’t have time outside of work, you may have to just have that talk on your break. But if you want this to happen, you are going to have to be the one to make that jump. Nobody can jump for you.

Because if you don’t? Someone else will.

Good luck.


Dear Dr. NerdLove:
Hi. I wondered if you could tell me, in your opinion, does a girl fancy me? The way she behaves makes me think she might.. She works in a shop, and every time I go in, I see her near me, even if she wasn’t in that actual place before I went in.

When I go near the tills, she happen to be nearby, every single time. It’s like she gravitates towards me. Also, every time I go in, she will look at me for a long time, if she is far away. After that, she will be sneaky, and look at me from behind things when she probably doesn’t think I know she is doing it. I seriously think she spends more time looking at me, than not. I am shy, and I think she is too, because we never speak to each other. She also plays with her hair and clothes, I notice.

I have never had this situation before, because all of my girlfriends have been friends of my sisters, and things have been arranged through them. Do you think she is keen?

Reading The Tea Leaves

So let’s see… she’s always in proximity to you, seems to be playing eye-contact games and gets fidgety when you’re around? That sounds like someone who’s hoping you’ll talk to her, RTTL. Now there’re a lot of other factors that can complicate whether someone in the service industry is interested in you – and it’s tricky when you’re a customer and they’re an employee. But there’s a surefire way to know if she’s into you.

Start talking to her and if things go well, see if she’d be interested in going on a date.

Kind of amazing how well that works, honestly.

 

Filed Under: Ask Dr. NerdLove Tagged With: ask dr. nerdlove, ask her out already, does she like me?, extroverts, family, introverts, relationship crisis, relationship maintenance, relationship stress

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Is My Girlfriend Cheating On Me?

September 30, 2016 by Dr. NerdLove 64 Comments

Hi there Doc.

I’ve been in a steady, loving and deeply fulfilling relationship with my girlfriend for 10 months. Initially, I had some minor trust issues stemming from…details in her background that didn’t quite match up (please keep in mind that I was raised as a man in a deeply chauvinistic and misogynistic latin american society, it doesn’t excuse me but it’s hard to shake off): she claimed (unprompted, over and over again) that she wasn’t really that much into sex (until I “cured her of that” after a month of dating) and that she had been with 2, 3 men at tops. However, many cliched “signs” that seemed to contradict this were pointed out to me by a specially sexist friend of mine; she smokes, she’s inked, she drinks like a sailor, smokes weed, I met her on Tinder, she’s extremely outgoing and has a ton of male friends in the art and music world, she’s had bisexual experiences, she’s a model, aaand she’s “made out with” or “had crushes or flings” with a not-insignifcant number of our mutual acquaintances, including two very close friends. Many of these things I actually really liked about her, as I like independent women, but like I said, misogynist friend (however he was the one to suggest that I should make her my serious GF). I honestly don’t think I’d have a problem if she were to outright tell me that she hasn’t had an exactly sexless past; after all, she’s with me now, right? However, the seeming contradiction between her words and my prejudices did irk me a bit for what I thought had been only a while…

I mentioned to her about how when I’m in a serious relationship I’m deeply committed and don’t tolerate infidelity, and she agreed saying that she’s the same. This was early on during our history when out of the blue she asked me what were my thoughts on open relationships (I told her that they don’t work 99% of the time). Things were really good, and after some very, very, VERY minor skerfuffles over my doubts at the start things were going swimmingly well. “We’re gonna have fucking babies” (literal quote) level well.

Fast forward 6 great months into the future. Ever since the start of our relationship I had been clear about my plans to study in a foreign country (I’m an MD looking to enter a medical residency); as time went on and I saw how well things were going, I pledged to her that I’d be taking her along with me, as I REALLY want to. Well, 6 months in, I had to start an intensive 4 month training course for my residency exam with an extremely heavy study load. I was clear to my GF that I wouldn’t be able to do much during that time period and that I’d be seeing a lot less of her; however she insisted on seeing me on a nearly daily basis, to the point that at one point she had practically moved in with me into my parent’s house. This did irk me a bit; like I said, I was practically isolated during this time period, I wanted her to have fun and go out with her friends so as to not strain the relationship and besides I did need my space for study matters. I told her we should dial it down a bit, but we still went on seeing each other in a slightly less regular basis. Needless to say, moods were occasionally ranked due to the situation.

During this stressful 4 month period, an opportunity for her to take a 2 month course in a college campus in India (a timezone 12 hours apart) suddenly came up at her work. I insisted she should take it as at the very least it’d be a great travel opportunity, I even helped her filling out some paper work. Her departure date was coincidentally the same as the date I’d be leaving to take my exam…things seemed to be going well, the day before we left we went on a date, exchanged hand crafted letters (hers, beautiful, mine crappy looking in comparison but not for lack of trying and yes we’re both 29) and we agreed on staying in touch via Skype or Facetime or whatever as much as possible during our time apart.

Things were going alright for the first couple of weeks (when I was in the aforementioned foreign country); communication was hard because I had to use wi-fi hotspots to stay in touch and I spent my entire day running errands in a city, but there was effort on her part (lots of missed calls) and hence, we managed to stay in touch. This gradually tapered off, (and I was a bit vocal about my displeasure) but I chalked it down to the problems with internet access we were both dealing with and was sure things would pick up when I went back to my country and my GF got her hands on a SIM card as she told me she would.

As you’ve probably guessed, this didn’t exactly happen. It’s been little over a week, we both have round the clock internet and it’s just harder and harder to communicate. I’ve told her about this, to the point that I feel like a nag, but she doesn’t seem to care. We text sporadically, but forget about phone calls (which we only make at about 1-3 AM when she shows up at her dorm, and then I have to practically beg her to call me) and it’s just excuse after excuse for her not fielding said calls or cutting them abruptly short (her roommate is there, she’s too tired to talk at 12 AM even though she’s constantly going to sleep at 3-4 AM even during weekdays, etc.); forget about Skype or anything else.

To add to my paranoia, she constantly keeps mentioning a cool new foreign musician friend of hers, with whom she apparently goes everywhere with. I was fine with this, and I was fine when she posted an innocent looking picture of her and him on a certain social media platform, but then I saw him macking on her in the comments (one heart smiley laden one where he said she “was sssooo beatiful and soooo nice” and another one where the guy’s mother (!) and him posted a series of heart smileys) and I lost it. I asked her what was up with that and she said that the guys is probably gay and his being so complimentary is simply cultural…

Now, I’m not gonna lie and said that I’ve never felt tempted by another woman during my relationship, but even during my recent trip I didn’t act on it (even though I had my chances) because I care more about what we’re supposedly building with my GF. This is where those supposedly buried trust issues came bubbling back…

I realize the fact that I’m in a bit of a void right now (I spent my last 4 months pushing friends and family away pretty much, I’m broke due to travel expenses, I have no job currently and most of my friends are abroad anyway) and the additional fact that I didn’t do as well in the exam as I needed to might be making me really needy and vulnerable, but do you think my feelings of consternation are completely unfounded? Or am I simply a prude that’s just not fit for “modern relationships” where time apart seems to be a green pass for screwing around?

Long Distance Lost

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Dr. NerdLove Tagged With: ask dr. nerdlove, cheating, does she like me?, long distance relationships

Ask Dr. NerdLove: Does She Really Like Me?

October 3, 2014 by Dr. NerdLove 74 Comments

Hello, Dr. NerdLove,

I live in NYC. As I am walking on the street over Union square, all of a sudden a girl comes up and stops me to talk about her non-profit company, which helps conserving nature. Now apparently like others she tries to stop others, explains about her organization’s motto to help the prevent the environment, and lastly asks for a donation. She asks for a donation, and I end up paying. Usually, I am good at passing this kind of situations, but I loved staying with her, and listen to her at that moment. She talks a bit about herself, and I do about myself as well. After all the conversation and formal talking and the payments, I ask her if she is interested in having coffee with me sometimes. She said- “sure.” I ask her to put her number on my cell phone, and she does.

Now, I am having a panic attack because I have not called her yet, and do not even know how to or what to talk about. There is this fear of rejection that I am feeling within me, which is blocking me to talk to her. Yes, I would LOVE to go out with her, because she is beautiful and a very down to earth person.

I would appreciate if you could give me some suggestions or advices as soon as possible on how to approach with that first phone call and keep the ball running. Thank You so much I appreciate your patience. I Hope to hear from you.

– Strangers Waiting Up And Down The Boulevard

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Dr. NerdLove Tagged With: ask dr. nerdlove, ask her out, does she like me?, Meeting Women, read her signs, signs of interest

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About Dr. NerdLove:

Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) is an internationally recognized blogger and dating coach who gives dating advice to geeks of all stripes. Making nerds sexier since 20011

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Recent Comments

  • Enail Or I wonder if they're getting the sense he's actively keeping her from them, beyond just normal "spending all your time with new boyfriend?" If she brings him to everything she does with her friends,...

    Are They Not Interested, Or Are They Playing “Hard To Get”? ·  December 14, 2019

  • rullerofallmarmalade Based on my own personal experience, I dont think she actually likes him but just likes the attention. There's something very nice about knowing that someone wants you very badly despite you not...

    Are They Not Interested, Or Are They Playing “Hard To Get”? ·  December 13, 2019

  • primrose I was also confused how LW1 went from resenting attention to missing it and having feelings. But I suppose she may always have like the guy but couldn't concentrate on something like that before she'd...

    Are They Not Interested, Or Are They Playing “Hard To Get”? ·  December 13, 2019

  • fuzzilla **My friends want me to breakup with him because they say they don’t see me anymore.** Yeah, it seems weird to be like, "You can be our friend OR have a boyfriend, but not have both," rather than...

    Are They Not Interested, Or Are They Playing “Hard To Get”? ·  December 13, 2019

  • primrose I saw this vibe but I also saw a LOT of pressure from friends to dump him which seems weird. So I don't think we really do know how LW feels

    Are They Not Interested, Or Are They Playing “Hard To Get”? ·  December 13, 2019

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