I’m the type of guy that never really prioritized relationships in high school or college. I was also focused on career, school, and my health. As a result, I never really had any relationship experience, or any experience with women, and, to be honest, I’m just a typical socially awkward nerd (and proud).
However, as I’ve started taking steps towards interacting with women, I realized that while I’m a socially awkward nerd, I’m a nerd who won the genetic lottery. I’ve netted from independent sources that I’m a really good-looking guy. I guess I just got lucky but while I’m really just trying to build friendships with women they tend to jump the boat from friendship to dreaming about a relationship or asking me out when we’ve only really shared a couple classes together and talked a few times over lunch. I usually reject them since I’m really not looking for that right now, but how do I do it without being a huge dick?
With one girl I flatly said “no” to a dinner date proposition, and I really wished I could’ve delivered that nicer because I could tell she was really hurt. I didn’t mean to make her feel that way I just wanted to be honest and not skirt around it like when girls do to guys. I know that’s because they’re socialized to be nice, but most men find it confusing so I just wanted to be blunt. With another girl I could tell she was beginning to catch feelings and I wanted to avoid another situation similar to the one above, and kind’ve just got confused with how to act and cut her off. The friendship fizzled out and it’s a shame I thought she was a cool person. How do I navigate people’s feelings for me without being a douche?