I’m not very good at cutting to the chase, but I’ll make my best effort. I’m sailing some weird waters, making a connection with someone I met through a dating website. She’s trans. That’s not really the problem, but it complicates the problem.
I live with my parents. I dated a disaster a couple years ago, lost my virginity and a good deal of my sanity to what I now understand was a manipulative, abusive person. I met him online.
Since then, my mom has insisted I reach out through my microscopic circle of friends, or even various groups I belong to, to find someone to date. I have reached, and dredged, and come up with nothing but dashed hopes and some now awkward friendships. So, about a week and a half ago, I decided I’d mess with my profile again, sparked by a picture I took of myself that looked half decent, and the fact that two of my friends are getting married, so what the hell, who wants to be lonely forever.
The strangest, most suspicious thing happened. The first person I got a message from was not only decent, but pretty awesome (hot to boot), and we hit it off. I think the big red flag, though, is that the relationship has seemed to progress at ludicrous speed – akin to my last one. I honestly don’t know if that’s normal. I’ve dated two friends in my life, had sex with someone I met online on our third date, and don’t know what the heck normal is. I have no experience to work with, and if I keep waiting for someone to come into my life, I will continue to have no experience.
I’m wondering if I’m naive enough at 26 that my parents should be making my decisions for me, or if it’s okay to dive whole body into a relationship less than a week old. I’m sure the very fact that I’m wondering that really helps my case for me being mature.
I want to tell my parents I met someone, but I don’t know how to assert my maturity, or if I even should considering my behavior. To complicate things further, I don’t know how to come out as a lesbian who’s dating a trans girl.
So, I guess there’s a lot of talking that needs to happen somewhere. And probably some self-examination. But I don’t know where to start, and there’s only so long I can keep a part of this on pause before it blows up in my face.