I heard you appear on the Rebel FM podcast and love what you are doing so I figured I’d write in. First off, I think I have a lot of problems. I am a 20 year old male, college student in home town, overweight (I’ll be honest, I’m just plain fat), am shy and introverted when it comes to girls, have had anxiety and depression issues recently, have little to no dating/relationship experience, and am a virgin. My only girlfriend was short term in high school. I was young and clueless due to the fact that she came on to me and I just sort of went along with it. This leads to one of my problems. Since I have virtually NO confidence when it comes to girls and the only girl that ever did like me came after me, I tend not to pursue girls and just sort of hope someone will notice me one day and I’ll magically be in a relationship. I know that is irrational, but I can’t help it. I have this overwhelming gut feeling that due to my weight problems nobody could ever truly love me for who I am. All I see is this disgusting thing in the mirror and wonder, “who the hell could love that?” I never put myself out there and never really make any sort of move to get something going with a girl. I feel helpless.
I am a commuter student at my college since I live in town and feel no need to stick around when I’m not in class. Also, most of my high school friends have moved away so I tend to stay fairly secluded. I want to make more friends and ultimately meet a nice girl to have a relationship with, but I feel trapped in this lonely overweight body that won’t let me experience a partner in my life. I don’t know what to do.
It boils down to this: I don’t love myself for the way I look, so I am overwhelmed with the thought that nobody could love someone who looks like me. I am doing what I can to work on my weight problem (gym, watching what I eat) but it is really hard for me and I feel stuck. I feel lonely and alone in my struggles and don’t know what to do. If you could help me with ways to get out there and meet more people and ultimately a nice girl, and how to learn to be more confident around girls despite my weight, I would appreciate it. Thanks and keep up the great work.
No Car No Body No Hope