One of the trickier aspects of improving your dating life is that there’s always another level to master. It’s easy to assume that once you’ve made it past that initial hump – building a cool wardrobe, getting over your approach anxiety and generally learning how to connect with potential dates – that it’s all smooth sailing from there. But as I’m always telling people: mastery is just the realization that there’s more to learn. Getting that first date is a major step. Now you need to get that second date. And the third. And that’s where new and different problems come sneaking in.
One of the things I hear about regularly from my readers – both here and over at my column at Kotaku – are people who keep experiencing what’s known as “the fade away” or “ghosting”.
Things seem to be going well, but they’re consistently meeting women who like them well enough at first, but lose interest by the third or fourth date. Suddenly, their dates are always “busy” before they quit returning their calls or texts.
Now to be fair: this is part of dating. You’re not always going to be a match with someone, and it may take a couple dates to realize this. It sucks, but dating at it’s core is a number’s game. You’re going to hit a few false-positives before you find someone you click with. But when it’s happening to you consistently… that’s a different story entirely. As I’m always saying: once is happenstance, twice is coincidence. Three times is
enemy action an indication that you’re doing something wrong. If you’re regularly getting the fade, the odds are good you’re having one of a number of common issues. Let’s do some troubleshooting for your dating life, shall we?