My first girlfriend was white. Brown hair, super kind person, amazing person, we dated for 2 years and had to end it because I couldn’t handle her low self esteem anymore, it was becoming too much of a mental burden to always be the one to give her strength.
After that, I dated a few more people of different races, until recently I’ve begun to date a very lovely Desi woman. She is an amazing person too, kindness outta this world, and I’m incredibly attracted to her.
The problem I experience is (and keep experiencing), I keep having these ideas that I should be with a white girl, someone with skin more like mine, in addition to a body type more like mine and more in line with societal norms (trust me I love it when women have curves, and the woman I’m with now is quite curvy).
Sometimes, I just can’t stop the thoughts from entering my head that I should be pursuing this beauty standard of “a girl that everyone will desire and covet”. I’m not sure where it comes from, but I suspect it could be from watching too much porn for years combined with growing up with these societal norms of what women are perceived as beautiful.
Dr. NerdLove, how do I get wrong ideas about women out of my head?
Social Messaging Sucks