How many times has this happened to you: you’ve decided that you’re going to be more social, so you commit to going out more and meeting people in person. However, every time you go out, the night ends the same way: with you going home alone, feeling lower than a snake’s ass in a drainage ditch because you didn’t talk to anyone. Worse, it seems like nobody wanted to talk to you, either. So now you’ve blown another evening, shredded your self-esteem, and you’re feeling as though you’re just one of those people who’s going to die alone and unloved.
God knows I’ve had more nights like that than I care to count. Every time, it left me a little more convinced that there was just something wrong with me as a person. Talking to strangers, making friends, even just getting phone numbers or dates felt like an impossible fantasy — something that happened to other people, but not to me.
But I was wrong. It wasn’t that I was unattractive or undesirable. It wasn’t about who I was, but what I was doing. What I didn’t realize was that I had been making a lot of mistakes that were making me come across as unapproachable. It was only after I started paying attention to what the popular people were doing that I started realizing that my behavior meant that I was sending out the wrong message and leaving people with the wrong idea about me.
Once I started to adjust my actions, I discovered that, contrary to what I had thought, people wanted to talk to me. I just needed to make myself more approachable.
If you’re struggling to meet people or getting people to connect with you, then you may be unwittingly making those same mistakes. The first impression you make on people is important, and how you act before you even say a word can dictate how people see you and respond to you. Regardless of whether you’re at the coffee shop, a friend’s party or out on the town, you want to make sure you’re not sending the wrong signals. Here’re 5 ways you’re making yourself unapproachable… and how to fix it.