Regular readers will note that I regularly intersperse my dating advice with discussions about what some may term “social justice” – issues dealing with feminism, harassment, bullying and generally shitty behavior. On occasion, I’ll get a question from someone who wants to know why I’m talking about all this Social Justice Warrior bullshit and when I’m going to get back to teaching dudes how to get laid.
That’s usually the point when I roll my eyes because honestly? That’s part of why I’m writing those articles. I’m a big believer in what’s known as “enlightened self-interest”: doing the right thing because it actively helps you too. If folks won’t do the right thing simply because it’s what you should be doing in the first place, then perhaps realizing that being a good guy is also good for your penis may be a better motivator. If dragging people by the dick is what it takes to get better behavior out of them, I’m all in favor of it.
See, a big part of the NerdLove Dating Philosophy is that one of the quickest and easiest ways to find the relationship you want – whether it’s for a lifetime or the next thirty minutes – is to not be an asshole. For all that guys like to wax rhapsodic about how “assholes get all the women”, it’s the assholes who’re actually making it harder for you, the good guy (as opposed to the Nice GuyTM) to meet and date incredible women. The behavior of the shittiest among you disproportionately affects how others respond to you and it doesn’t matter how many times you insist #notallmen are like that.
Correcting that behavior, on the other hand, benefits everyone.
So in that spirit, I want to talk about the topic du jour and one of the most common examples of when it comes to men behaving badly: street harassment and cat-calling.