My friend told me about your YouTube video recently, and since I need some dating advice myself I ended up going down the rabbit hole on your site. I have a problem.
I liked what you said about reading the room and I think my Mentor read the room wrong just one time and now they want to bring the hammer down.
I recently got promoted into a HR manager at an office and have been working there for the past 3 years. Couple of months in my friend/mentor of a different department was accused of sexual harassment by an intern. She said that he kept hugging her, holding her hand when saying hello, asking about her dating life, joked about sex, and would invite her to private lunches or talks on the roof. Even to dinner or drinks after work.
My boss is telling me to maybe fire him or demote him. I think he is testing me to see what I will do to handle the situation.
However, I have known this guy since I started working here and he does this with ALL the girls in the office. When I got hired, I was worried too but the other girls told me nothing was wrong. Even now none of the other girls have a problem with it when I ask them about it. To us he is a great mentor and like a father figure. He listens to us and helps us with problems and even our relationship problems. He helped me through a bad breakup recently too and some of us are even comfortable enough to talk about our sex lives with him. He was a nice manager who trained me to be where I am right now. He pointed out the office creeps, told me how things were done, let me in on the gossip, and since he was cousins with a former upper manager, he helped me get the position I am in now. He is a good guy.
I honestly think that some of the guys are just jealous of how close he is with us and how he protects us from the creeps. Many of them are ganging up on him saying he has been doing this for years and with other girls who quit. I don’t think it is an issue since every other girl who DOES and still works here says it’s fine. This is the first complaint he has ever gotten on company record. I think they are just jealous because the girls like him. He also keeps the creeps he tells us about from being promoted. These are some of the main guys complaining about him.
He has been working here for the past 8 years and has helped countless of women feel comfortable in the office and is close friends with many other managers. I consider him a close friend and he knows about my personal problems. I don’t want to lose him or make him reveal my personal life out of anger.
I can’t help but feel bad for him too because he is in his late 20s but has been single for the past 10 years, give or take a hook up once in a while. I also know he can’t get promoted in the future either because this allegation. Upper management is abandoning him. I don’t know what the office would be like without him. I don’t want to lose him as a friend or demote him and I don’t want to open the door to the creeps he tells us about to take his position. He has been asking me and other managers to help dismiss the case since she is crazy. She didn’t even tell me directly but went to my boss. I feel like the intern is overreacting since all the other girls are fine with it, and if she just told me, I would have told her to let it go. He is a good, friendly guy who was looking out for her.
I would normally just fire him if it was anyone else.
How should I react on this? or what’s your opinion?